• Mon. Dec 4th, 2023

10 tips for parent-child communication, there is always one that suits you


Oct 1, 2023

Many problems in family education ultimately lie in parent-child communication. As the new semester begins, parents should take the initiative to take parent-child communication classes. A harmonious parent-child relationship will be helpful to children\’s life and study. Today I would like to share with you 10 parent-child communication strategies. The well-known class teacher Wu Xiaoxia has summarized the good methods from her personal experience. It is full of useful information. Let’s take a look! The quality of communication between parents and children determines the quality of children\’s growth. However, the older the children grow, the more difficult it becomes for parents and children to communicate, and sometimes they are even incompatible. In fact, communication requires correct strategies and methods to form efficient communication. How to avoid confrontation between children and parents – \”Black and white letting go\” When children confront their parents because of something, if we force a \”black and white\” communication method, it will only make the children resist. Take playing games and not doing homework as an example. If we say: \”You must put down the games today and do your homework, otherwise you will not be allowed to go to school. Play games every day!\” When the child hears \”black or white\”, Immediately say: \”If you don\’t want to read it, I won\’t read it. I don\’t want to read it anyway.\” At this time, you need to let go of your attachments and \”black and white\” expressions: the first step is to describe the facts. State what you saw objectively and fairly: \”You played games today, from 8 a.m. to 13 p.m., for five hours.\” The second step is to express concern. This is a time to voice your concerns. Let your child feel your love: \”I\’m worried that it will be bad for you and affect your body and spine.\” The third step is to provide choices. When the request is turned into several options and the children are allowed to decide on their own, this will enhance the child\’s initiative and sense of responsibility. At the same time, pay attention to the feasibility of the requirements. For example, when a child plays with his mobile phone instead of doing homework, then we as parents can provide choices. \”Do you think you should finish your homework first or play with your phone first? I believe you are a sensible child and know how to choose.\” The fourth step is to express reference. Finally, we can say to our children: \”Of course, I think it might be more useful to do it this way. Why don\’t you give it a try?\” This method is easier for children to accept. Never say: \”You must…do it! Otherwise…\” This will only cause confrontation in the child. How to effectively give advice to children – the three-layer superposition technique. Today\’s children have lived in praise since childhood. Sometimes they cannot listen to criticism from others and will develop a natural defensive state to protect themselves. Once a child develops defensiveness status, then any opinions are invalid, and some children may even become sensitive due to their parents\’ criticism. So how can you give advice to your children skillfully? The first step is to feed a \”Shunqi Pill\”. When we give suggestions to our children, we should first pay attention to the time and occasion, and especially observe the child\’s state. Then give care, recognition, and appreciation to the child first, or in a very relaxed and humorous atmosphere, and when the child is happy and calm, then proceed to the next step. The second step is to discuss \”Metamorphosis\”. Then, use a discussion method and a consultative tone to make suggestions with your children. For example: \”Son, I have an idea to discuss with you, see if it works?\” Sometimes, it determines whether the child will listen to the suggestion.The key is not whether our views are correct, but the tone and attitude of parents and children when making suggestions. At the same time, use discussions step by step to inspire children and guide them to accept suggestions. The third step is to \”label\” the front. After the discussion, we need to give our children positive encouragement and positive labels, such as: \”I believe my son can correct himself and become better and better!\” \”My child is a person who knows how to constantly improve himself!\” In this way, the three-step approach will neither hurt the parent-child relationship nor damage the child\’s self-esteem. The key is to make suggestions skillfully so that the child can happily accept them and take action slowly. How to avoid blaming your children for everything – Categorization and Filtering Technique Every parent has expectations and hopes for their children. Therefore, when their children\’s performance does not meet their inner expectations, they will easily get angry, angry, and blame their children. This will cause the children to feel: In the eyes of my parents, I am useless! As a result, the parent-child relationship becomes tense, alienated, and antagonistic. So, how to change? The first step is to observe the child. Observe your children and see what aspects make you angry and blaming. The second step is to record objectively. Record all the child\’s behavior on this matter, and record the child\’s behavior without any emotion. For example: if you don’t get up early in the morning, don’t record it as: lazy. Rather, simply record things objectively. The third step is rational classification. Divide all the things about our children that make us unhappy into three categories. One category is behaviors that are not serious and can be ignored. This type of problem is not serious and does not affect the growth of the child. For example: My child likes to wear only black clothes. This does not affect the growth of the child and parents can ignore it. Category 2: Seriously unacceptable behavior. This generally involves bottom line issues, or values, issues that affect the child\’s future. For example: children bully others, children are disrespectful to others. Such issues should be taken very seriously. The third category is behaviors worth carrying forward. Every child has advantages, and no matter what happens, there is a positive side that is worthy of encouragement. So we have to find positive energy. The fourth step is to treat it in layers. When we communicate with our children, we must know how to treat them differently. First, identify behaviors that are worthy of promotion and praise them; for behaviors that are not serious and can be ignored, do not criticize them harshly. This type of behavior does not need to be mentioned in front of children; then seriously correct seriously unacceptable behaviors. In this way, communicating with children will be easier for them to accept and will not affect the parent-child relationship. How to ease the incompatible parent-child relationship – Preset script dialogue technique. Some parents and children\’s parent-child relationship has reached the point of incompatibility. Some completely refuse to communicate, and some start a fight if they disagree. At this time, how to break the deadlock can be solved by using the \”script dialogue technique\”. The first step is to prepare the \”script\”. Parents can preset in advance the theme, content, and goals of this conversation, how to express it to their children, how to talk about bottom lines and requirements with their children, as well as what will happen during the conversation and how to deal with it. Ichiban. This can avoid losing control of your emotions during communication. The second step is to agree on a conversation. This requires parents to find a suitable time and suitableThe location, including setting up the atmosphere for the conversation, etc., if the child asks to talk now, parents should not compromise at this time and follow the agreed time, so that both parties are mentally prepared and have room for buffering and preparation. The third step is to state the facts. When chatting with your child as a friend, you must pay attention to an equal and peaceful attitude, affirm the child, state the child\’s specific problems, and put forward the parents\’ hopes. The content of the chat can be carried out according to the content prepared by the parents\’ \”script\”. Never Be aggressive and ask your child\’s opinion sincerely. The fourth step is to solve the problem. Next, we need to be clear: the purpose of parents is to solve the problem, not to blame the child. Therefore, this process requires accepting the child\’s emotions, knowing how to listen, empathize, respond, and discussing solutions to the problem with the child. Step five, reach agreement. At this time, discuss the plan with the child and reach an agreement, and then follow up and implement it. Parents can say: \”Since we have agreed, we must follow the agreement when we go back!\” In this way, parents and children can avoid serious conflicts and will not be affected by the emotions of both parties. How to communicate if we can\’t say it out loud – Surprise Technique of Writing Notes When we can\’t communicate with our children verbally, or there are things that are inconvenient to say face to face, we can use writing notes. When children receive such a note, they are as happy as receiving a letter. The first step is to write a note. First of all, we parents can choose the paper, whether it is general paper, carefully selected letterhead paper, or a special notebook. Write down what your parents want to communicate, and try to use a chatting method so that there is no pressure on both parties. The second step is to place the note. We can put it in a conspicuous place in the child\’s room, let the child discover it by himself, and give the child a surprise, or we can directly tell the child: \”Mom wrote a note for you today and put it on the table.\” Let the child be full of expectations. The third step is follow-up consolidation. When the child reads the note, we can observe the child\’s performance and think about the next communication content. You can also ask your children to reply to the content on the note to form a continuous communication of the note. The fourth step is to persist for a long time. As a way of writing notes, we can stick to it for a long time and form a habit to make parents and children closer. How to turn praising children into encouragement – Highlights and Details Empowerment Technique In life, we must be good at discovering children\’s strengths, not be stingy with praise and praise for children, and learn to turn appreciation into encouragement. The first step is to be good at discovering details. We cannot praise the child in a general way, \”You are so smart!\” Instead, we should discover the child\’s shining points in details, and the praise should be specific. For example: \”My daughter is very serious when doing her homework.\” The second step is to describe the process in detail. Next, we can also describe the process of praise points in detail. \”How serious is our daughter? She was talking so loudly downstairs today that she didn\’t even turn her head to take a look.\” The third step is to give it special meaning. When we praise children, we can give them a meaning and encourage them. For example: \”If you can look without turning your head, you have strong self-control!\”\”The fourth step is to guide new actions. When we give the child a certain meaning, we must also give the child a certain amount of guidance later, so that he will not \”just talk but not implement\”. For example: \”I believe our daughter can If you persist in this way for a long time, you will not only be able to do your homework, but you will also be able to do the same in other aspects! For example, if you can control yourself playing with your mobile phone and avoid sleeping in, if you persist in this way, our children will be really extraordinary! \”How to criticize children correctly so that they can be listened to – the five-minute high-efficiency technique. The purpose of parents criticizing their children is to make the children correct their mistakes and make them convinced. Instead of venting their emotions, so how to criticize is effective, then we use the \”Five Minutes\” \”Minute Effect\”: The first step is to calm down for one minute. As parents, when we face our children\’s mistakes, we must first deal with our own emotions and calm ourselves down. Otherwise, if we say something to vent our emotions, not only will we not be able to solve the problem, but we will also get angry. Add fuel to the fire. Only by calming down can we really help the child find the cause of the mistake and how to correct it. The second step is to make a one-minute complaint. After the child makes a mistake, we should not rush to make the child admit the mistake, but give him the opportunity to complain and give him The right to speak. Let the children say everything they want to say, and we will be able to have a more comprehensive and objective understanding of the reasons for the children\’s mistakes. For example, you can ask: \”What happened, tell your parents, okay?\” ? \”And pay attention to listening patiently to the child, and pay attention to responding to the child\’s feelings. The third step is to make corrections in one minute. After understanding the child\’s statement, next, state the child\’s wrong behavior, and point out where the mistake is based on facts. , you can’t just ask your child: “Is it wrong? \”It is necessary to clearly let the children understand the reasons for the mistakes. The fourth step is the one-minute method. The purpose of criticism is to ask the children to correct it. Therefore, on the basis of pointing out the mistakes, it is also necessary to formulate correct strategies and methods, otherwise you will not know what to do next. What is the effective direction? The fifth step is to comfort for one minute. After criticizing the child, you must also comfort and encourage the child to prevent the child from being immersed in negative emotions. You can tell the child: \”If you know you are wrong, just correct it. I I believe you are a smart child and will know what to do in the future. \”How to have a deterrent effect by rejecting children – the four powerful Dingli skills are in the process of communicating with children. When encountering children\’s unreasonable demands and unreasonable actions, if you accommodate the children again and again, the children will become worse, and finally Out of control. Therefore, we must know how to stop children and be good at rejecting them. The first step is the \”Lion\’s Roar Skill\”. When encountering unreasonable requests from children, such as excessive use of mobile phones, we must act like the \”Lion\’s Roar Skill\” Be intimidating and have a persistent attitude. Accurately convey your ideas and requirements to the children, and clearly express boundaries and bottom lines. The second step is to \”calm down the turtle\”. At this time, the rejected child will definitely be unhappy. Then we need to give the child space and time to calm down. The third step is to \”tune the tiger\”. When the child\’s mood stabilizes, we need to slowly find something that can be replaced with the child, so we can discuss with the child a specific agreement to replace it. Unreasonable behavior. The fourth step, \”Velociraptor\”. Now that the convention has been formulated, thenSo next time, once we encounter something similar, we will execute it at the speed of a \”Velociraptor\”. In this way, our rejection can truly serve the purpose of educating our children. How to make children willing to talk to their parents about their concerns – \”Peel the onion layer by layer\” technique When children grow up, they share less and less of their concerns with their parents, but they talk endlessly to their classmates. Parents, who were originally the closest people to their children, have become familiar strangers, which inevitably makes them feel very disappointed. So, if we want our children to start talking, we can try to peel them off layer by layer like \”peeling an onion\”. The first step is to attack the east and the west. We can let the children put down their guard first and talk about other things or our own things first, so that the children are willing to talk. Or start with a broad topic. For example, if we want to know the status of our child\’s school, we can ask in a roundabout way: \”Who is the most naughty person in your class?\” and then slowly open up the conversation. The second step is to empathize. When a child chats with us, we need to put ourselves in the child\’s perspective, feel his mood, and express his parents\’ understanding. For example, if a child says: \”I don\’t know why I\’m having a hard time studying recently.\” Parents can express thoughtfully: \”I\’m having a hard time studying. Are you a little sad or anxious and don\’t know what to do?\” The third step is to be kind and persuasive. When children slowly express themselves, we need to ask more empathic questions: \”What do you think?\” \”What can I help you with?\” Ask some questions that children are willing to talk about. The fourth step is to be convinced. When chatting with children, we must always pay attention to the child\’s mood, interest and feelings, shorten the psychological distance with the child, and give some valuable suggestions. How to resolve misunderstandings with children – the technique of frank gratitude and apology. When parents and children are angry with each other, you don\’t let me, I don\’t let you, and ignore each other, the parent-child relationship will fall into a cold war, which will lead to mutual resentment. Then parents need to take the initiative to communicate and reconcile with each other. Reconciliation is not a problem that can be solved by saying sorry, but the important thing is that each other can understand each other and both can grow in this reconciliation. Specific methods: The first step is to express understanding. Use \”I know…\”, such as \”I know you still hope to achieve good results in your studies.\” The second step is to express gratitude. Use \”Thank you…\” \”Thank you…\”, for example: \”Thank you for being able to tell mom about your daily efforts, otherwise mom would still misunderstand you.\” The third step is to express affirmation. Use \”It\’s not easy for you\”, for example: \”Actually, it\’s not easy to persist in working hard like this every day.\” The fourth step is to express apology. Use \”I\’m sorry\”, for example: \”Mom didn\’t understand the situation on this matter, I\’m sorry.\” The fifth step is to express candidness. Express \”why\”, for example: \”Mom is also anxious because your grades have dropped.\” The sixth step is to express expectations. Express \”I hope you more\”, for example: \”So, mom hopes you can master the learning method, such as spending more time on English every day and coming back to memorize words every day, so that you can make up for your decline.\” Master. The communication code with children can open up the child\’s spiritual world and form emotions with the child.Through communication, children can grow up healthily and actively! 36 tips for parents to communicate with their children HD PDF

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