Every child is extremely eager to be appreciated by his parents. Some children even spend their whole life trying to please their parents, hoping to gain their parents\’ recognition and encouragement. The most touching scene in the movie \”The Sixth Sense\” is when the little boy who can see ghosts tells his mother that he can see his deceased grandmother: \”You once went to your grandmother\’s cemetery and asked her a question. , she said the answer is every day, what did you ask her?\” The mother asked the question she had always wanted to ask: \”Did I… make her proud?\” The boy said: \”Grandma asked me to tell you, she did When she saw you dancing, she said you had a quarrel with her when you were a child and you thought she didn\’t want to see you dance. She went to see you dance. She hid behind you and you didn\’t see her. She said you were like an angel…\” Mother Hearing this, I burst into tears. Children need encouragement just like plants need water. Parents\’ appreciation and encouragement of their children are often the driving force for their children\’s growth. People are born to like to be encouraged. Treating children in this way can allow children to grow up in a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere, gain confidence, and become better. Only children who are constantly recognized and encouraged are likely to grow in a good direction and be full of confidence and courage. Even though your child is not perfect, he desperately needs your encouragement and praise. PART.01 When encouraging, know how to see and comfort children\’s painful emotions. Example: \”You must be feeling very uncomfortable. Let\’s find a solution together.\” Once, a 9-year-old girl jumped from the 15th floor because she could not complete her homework on time. She wrote in her suicide note: \”Mom, I\’m sorry, this is my decision.\” \”Why can\’t I do anything?\” What crushed this child was not her homework, but her frustration and powerlessness that had not been seen and understood by adults. Coupled with the fact that she had received too much denial and blow at home and school, she had no energy in her heart. Children without energy and hope are the most vulnerable to collapse. To encourage a child, if you just keep asking him to work hard without talking about the child\’s inner experience and feelings, it will be difficult to be effective. There is a very popular saying on the Internet: People only care whether you fly high or not, no one cares whether you are tired or not. Children also long to be understood when they are tired. Understanding children does not mean being infinitely tolerant of children, but rather acknowledging the rationality of children’s negative emotions such as anger, sadness, and disappointment. Therefore, the first step to encourage your children is to see them, accept their feelings, see their fears, and see their struggles. Many parents often refuse to accept their children\’s truest emotions. When their children show fear, frustration, or depression, adults either despise these feelings, blame them, or teach and admonish them. When comforting children, we say: \”You shouldn\’t react so much\”, \”Stop feeling frustrated\”, \”It\’s not a big deal\”… A child who needs encouragement, we cannot let them feel ashamed of their feelings. , on the contrary, we need to help children face their own feelings. Only in this way can children control their various emotions. Tell your child: \”I know you\’re upset, let\’s figure it out together.\” That feeling of being recognized and accepted will truly drive children to make positive changes. For example, if a child encounters aShe is afraid of a very steep hillside and wants you to carry her down. At this time, any verbal encouragement seems a bit hollow. But if you understand her fear and say to her: \”It\’s normal to be afraid, mommy is afraid too. I\’ll hold your hand and go down slowly, okay?\” The child may still scream nervously along the way, but during this process, It was the process of her slowly overcoming her fear. Essentials for family education: How to encourage children’s progress and self-confidence. Full 70 episodes PART.02 Encourage more details and see children’s subtle progress. Example: \”I see you are doing well in…\” In Western film and television works, Many parents often say to their children: I am proud of you. Therefore, the most common temperament among these children is confidence. In Chinese families, what parents are best at is turning their noses up at everything their children do. During the education process, the easiest message to send to their children is: \”You can\’t do it.\” They will often lament how other people\’s children are so good, but their own children are so good. Nothing can be done well. In fact, it is precisely because he is not good enough that he needs encouragement. For example, if your child encounters many difficulties in doing homework today, writes very slowly and makes many mistakes, you can say: \”It doesn\’t matter, you wrote the homework very seriously today!\” Or, the child has just learned to dress independently, even if he can\’t wear it. Okay, you can also praise him for successfully putting on his socks today; or, if your child is learning calligraphy, you can choose a specific word that he writes well, even if it is a horizontal or vertical line, you can point it out to him. He sees. Adults need to discover these subtleties. Not only can the child feel that you are paying attention to him, but the child will also have confidence in his heart, knowing where to continue working hard and focusing on the matter itself. Parents should learn to be proud of their ordinary children. Even if your child has poor grades and is a little naughty, if you look at it from another angle, you can see another side of your child. For example, he is kind, considerate, and hardworking… Every child is unique in the world. You must see the child. strengths, well-done details, and effort. PART.03 Encourage the process more and pay less attention to the results. Example: \”I saw your efforts, let\’s try again.\” At a balance car competition somewhere, a 3-year-old girl was scolded by her mother for finishing last: \” Why do you have the nerve to cry? You were walking there the whole time!\” Then he kept hitting the helmet on the girl\’s head with his hands. The little girl stood there shivering and began to cry. \”I was overtaken at the last corner, what are you thinking! Ah? What are you thinking!\” The girl replied with a cry: \”I will run well next time.\” Seeing the child\’s pitiful appearance, she felt very distressed. . As parents, we are sometimes more afraid of failure than our children. When evaluating children, we are often \”result-driven\” and often extend the failure of one thing to the denial of the child as a whole. You don\’t see the child\’s progress or efforts, you only look at the results, and then use a certain result to completely deny and attack the child. In fact, the child who is last is more sad than the adults. What they need most is the hug and comfort, support and encouragement of their parents. If adults cannot treat failure and success with a normal heart,Then the child will become more and more nervous and gradually unable to face failure. Wanting their children to succeed is the aspiration of all parents, but teaching children how to face setbacks and failures is an inescapable lesson on the road to education. When children face failure, the focus of parents\’ encouragement is to work hard to maintain their children\’s willingness to continue trying and let them see hope. This requires parents to understand the process of encouraging their children to work hard and try, and to let their children believe that their abilities can be improved through subjective efforts, and the final results will also change accordingly. Only when parents have a relaxed attitude towards these inevitable failures will children not give up easily in the face of failure. PART.04 Love is always the best encouragement. Example: \”No matter what, I will always love you.\” The inner motivation of many children often comes from the deep love of their parents. In the picture book \”David Can\’t\”, David is naughty every day, and the thing his mother says to him the most is: \”No.\” One day he broke his mother\’s beloved vase. He was very scared and huddled pitifully in the corner, his color full of guilt. His mother found out. This time, she held him in her arms and told him: \”David, be good, I love you.\” This sentence \”I love you\” is the warmest sentence in the whole book. In fact, our children are just like David. They will get into trouble, experience various setbacks, and encounter various situations. We can criticize and educate, but we must never forget to tell him: \”I don\’t like your behavior, but I will never Love you.\” Love is the premise of education and the biggest force that changes children. When a child can feel as he grows up: No matter how I behave, my parents will love me, the child\’s heart will be full of security. This is the key to enhancing the sense of self-worth. With the support of parents\’ love behind them, children will have nothing to fear no matter what they encounter outside. Isn\’t it the best encouragement for children to believe that they are loved? It’s not easy to be original. If you like today’s article, please remember to give us a “like” at the end of the article.