• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

A learning family is a positive state in which a family grows at home


Oct 1, 2023

Under the influence of the epidemic, parents and children have reduced their outing activities and spent a lot of time at home with their families, which is just suitable for the family to communicate and study together. How to make full use of this time, improve the quality of family communication, and form a good, harmonious, and relaxed family communication and learning atmosphere. This article is recommended to everyone. How to stimulate students\’ learning interest and motivation. Download the full video. We have all heard of learning organizations, and family is the most basic and effective learning organization. Therefore, a learning family is the best state for a family to \”grow at home\” during the epidemic, and it should also be the best state for a family to stay together for life. Let me start with my own experience. Not long ago, my daughter, my daughter, and my mother each wrote three articles. The first article is \”@everyone, what kind of life lesson can this major epidemic be?\” organized by me; the second article is written by my daughter Guo Guomei, \”How to arrange this \’boring time\’ under the epidemic?\” Days\”; the third article \”There are still at least ten days of \’confinement period\’, it is recommended that teachers take self-study of this \’life aesthetics class\’\”, which is a \”self-study course at home\” organized by her daughter\’s mother. The publication of these three articles is the typical characteristics and results of a learning family: chatting can become material, and we can always inspire each other in daily life. My daughter is studying in middle school and can only come back every Friday. Every Saturday night, we have a long chat time for dinner. This has become our habit, so it is logical that we have more in-depth communication during the epidemic. One time while chatting, these topics came up. After the chat, the three of us organized separately. Almost at the same time, three articles were published, and we ourselves felt that our thinking had been upgraded. I know that in many families, there are not many times when we can communicate in such depth, inspire each other, and promote each other. So let’s discuss today, what does a learning family look like? How to build such a family? 7 Key Points of a Learning Family In what aspects does a learning family manifest itself? I have summarized some dimensions for parents’ reference. The first point is family management, turning \”hard currency\” into \”soft currency\”. A family has its own management methods, and what is common and effective among Chinese families is hard methods, or \”hard currency.\” Parental authority, children\’s willfulness, personal emotions, irrational interference, etc., can all change our family behavior. These things do exist, but the management of a learning family is to soften the \”hard currency\” and do three things wisely and habitually. These three things are more effective than hard methods in this family: First, \”reason\” . It doesn\’t mean nagging and talking about big principles; it means facing every disagreement, learning to sit down and have a relatively formal chat, see the problem clearly, and clarify common sense. Don’t talk too much about the truth, but you must explain it thoroughly. Not all problems have to be solved immediately. If you can figure out dozens of truths on key points with your children throughout your life, your family will be able to learn about countless fields by drawing inferences from one example. Secondly, \”engage in creation\”. This refers to jointly brainstorming important problems faced by the family, bringing out everyone\’s vision, knowledge, and ideas for reference, and thenThen discuss together to find creative solutions. And then this consensus solution is our family management principles in this area. And “mutual discovery.” Because everyone in the family is in a different position and age, it is difficult to fully understand each other. We must have psychological expectations for this. Everyone can only see one side of things. When disagreements occur, explore why the other party insists on their own ideas. You may discover his deep-seated thinking logic, affirm his reasonable thinking, and then understand the matter more completely, and reach a consensus after discussion. The second key point is absolute trust, so that the family is always \”transparent\”. For a good learning family, trusting each other is the prerequisite, so we must ensure that everyone knows almost everything, and there are no secrets between each other. You may find it difficult to do this, but if you insist on being honest with your family and children about your family situation for a long time, you can dissolve many secrets and achieve mutual knowledge and understanding. Does this also apply to children? All the research tells us “absolutely.” Let children know almost everything and every dilemma of their parents, which will allow them to see the complexity of life, family, society, work, and study. In this complex scene, parents are working hard to face and solve it. He also needs to understand in this complex scene and achieve his own inner balance. The third important point is that family members should be \”constructive\” to each other. The so-called constructiveness means that family members should promote each other, inspire each other, and complement each other\’s advantages in terms of information acquisition, thinking perspectives, and habit formation. This is true even at work and study. For example, we are going to launch a magazine called \”Family\” this year, and we invite our daughter to be a part-time editor of this magazine. When discussing the first issue, everyone thought from an adult perspective, and my daughter, who came from a student perspective, pointed out that most families have at least three roles, including parents and students. So she suggested that we have a \”student version\”, and the layout should not be child-like, but should be creative and stylish. Her perspective gave us a completely new vision for the magazine. Therefore, the entire family must form an objective and equal discussion, bringing different perspectives together to obtain a more complete and comprehensive perspective. The fourth important point is that every family member has a \”sense of purpose\” in life. Family members inspire and learn from each other. Over time, a positive trend will be created, which makes everyone expect to make their own contribution to society. For example, when my daughter was in the first grade of primary school, I decided to devote myself to education and hoped that education would change society. The child’s mother is engaged in art, and she hopes to help educate and design a more beautiful future through aesthetics. We face life, work and career with passion every day, which invisibly affects our children. If you have seen your daughter\’s personal public account \”Guoguomei\’s Growth Box\”, you will find that she is actually a person with a strong sense of mission. She said she wanted to record the key aspects of her learning and growth as a case from which parents, teachers, principals and peers could see her true growth, her confusion and experience. So when she started applying to collegeAt that time, she discovered that the thing she had done most over the years was to help her peers and parents understand what education was all about. Naturally, she applied for social anthropology, educational psychology and other majors. In such an atmosphere, parents and children gradually establish their own life goals. The fifth key point is to create all conditions to “read more”. We have a lot of books at home. My daughter said when she was about eleven or twelve years old that she read more than 100 books a year. During dinner two days ago, I recommended the book \”Enlightenment Now\” to my family. In such a complicated time and space, under the epidemic, everyone will have many emotions and various life swings. This book tells us what humans have been pursuing for hundreds of years. In our family, sharing with each other after reading has become a habit. I know the books my children love to read and the things they like, and my daughter also knows the adult world that her peers have no idea about. Reading a lot and sharing with each other makes us all thicker for each other. Facing many problems in this era and society, we can think more comprehensively. The sixth key point, \”love together\”, is to use all conditions to get along with each other in a real way, and allow each other to intervene in their own lives and world. When my daughter was six or seven years old, five of our families held a children\’s reading group, each reading a book a week and sharing for two hours every Saturday. This lasted for two years. In-depth communication has improved the parent-child relationship in every family. Children welcome us into their lives, and parents should welcome their children into their world. For example, if there is a good cultural landscape or educational field when we go on a business trip, we will take her with us. We would rather miss some classes and let her see the world with us. Love getting together means that the whole family sticks together when nothing happens. They have more and more common languages ​​and understand each other deeper and deeper. The seventh key point is to \”use each other\” on the matters you care about most. “Just use it” is a special mantra in our family. I pester my daughter every week to chat, on the one hand to help her solve her doubts, and more importantly to solve my problems. What is the school like, what is happening, what are the new developments, and what do the students think about many things? We have run a small pioneer school called Quanyuan School, and our daughter also studies there. I often say that you are not only a learner, but also a builder of Fountain School. Over the years, I have squeezed a lot of “surplus value” out of my daughter. I often say that my daughter seems to be better than experts. She has helped me solve many problems that experts cannot solve. The four paths to reach a learning family. The above are my experience of what a learning family looks like. So, what are the things that are conducive to incubating such a family ecology? What do we need to make some adjustments to in our own homes? I think the first step to reach a learning family is communication. There are three levels of communication. The first level is to constantly eliminate communication barriers. There are huge communication barriers between people, and between people of different ages and genders, and it is impossible to reach consensus without communication at all. Every family can form a habit of regular communication, such as spending two or three hours every Saturday for in-depth communication. Our family didn’t watch the Spring Festival Gala on New Year’s Eve for many years.Instead, several families gather together to make New Year’s Eve summaries. We use this almost fixed form to allow communication to reach a deeper and broader realm. In the process of constantly eliminating communication barriers, we are also constantly converging on cognitive dimensions. Sometimes, although we have the same decision, we have different cognitive dimensions of things. Understanding at the same level will make the family feel a kind of resonance and joy. Because families have similar cognitive dimensions, they can respect differences in concepts. In fact, no matter how much communication is done, they are different roles after all, so differences in concepts will always exist, but this difference is not a bad thing. We discuss many things together and supplement each other\’s opinions. Although there are still differences in the end, it can make family members understand each other better. The understanding of this matter is more complete. At this stage, parents across the country still have a lot of time to spend with their children. We can actually spend some time thinking about whether our family can first establish a communication foundation, then form a habit of regular communication, and finally reach the entire The state of mutual respect in the family? The second method is to establish life goals. Parents\’ life goals are often relatively clear and clear, but it is too difficult for children to find their life goals. My daughter has gradually established relatively clear life goals since high school. How did she achieve this? Simply put, there are a few things. The first is interest in digging holes. When she was a child, she had many interests, and we would dig holes for her around her interests. For example, when she graduated from elementary school, she was expected to write a book and hold an art exhibition. After setting this goal, she would write articles and draw pictures every weekend for two or three years in a row before putting together the contents of the book and art exhibition. When she was in junior high school, we also dug a hole for her and asked her to set up a WeChat official account. After operation, there is no need for our supervision, readers will supervise her. The second is the influence of the eyes and ears. She has had many contacts with us, fully understands our lives and work, and knows that a life with goals is full and enjoyable. The third is world textbooks. We let her see and travel almost all over the world. The fourth is to challenge trial and error. My daughter originally hoped to work in education. When she was a sophomore in high school, she suddenly wanted to be an architect. This was the most stressful moment of the exam, but we wanted her to give it a try, so we allowed her to interview many architectural designers in Chongqing and also went to the MIT Architectural Design \”Summer School\” for a month. Because architectural design requires relatively high painting skills, I studied with a teacher at the Central Academy of Fine Arts in Beijing for a month. After studying in a circle, she found that architectural design could only be one of her interests. Her advantage was her understanding of society and her sensitivity to meaning. So she chose to apply for education again, in the direction of social anthropology. So I think the goal of life is actually gradually obtained through continuous experience in the process of growth. You have to give your child the opportunity to experience and challenge him to try and make mistakes. Of course, we need to discuss more. For example, we discussed it about twice: What are your own strengths? Her direction was chosen after discussion. The third approach is to transcend difficulties and treat every difficulty as an opportunity to upgrade and learn. For example, for my daughter’s application for further education, the overseas tutor she found was “unreliable” and the school did not have relevant courses, experience and foundation.You have to do it yourself, plus taking the exam, you don’t have enough time, energy, and experience. She could only sacrifice time to prepare for the exam, face what needs to be done with all her strength, let go of complaints, and see growth. The last method is to develop a common habit: doing many things into one thing. For example, my daughter is facing the high school entrance examination in her third year of junior high school, but she also has to prepare for her junior high school graduation art exhibition and update her WeChat official account. what to do? We suggested that she turn several things into one. The history she had not learned well could be drawn into a long historical scroll. This was not only a work in her art exhibition, but also a review and the content of the WeChat public account. This common habit can save us a lot of time and make things concise. This is also in line with the laws of modern social development – folding the complex laws of the world into a simple and easy-to-use solution so that others can see and understand it. Finally, to summarize, how does a family start, continue to advance, and finally maintain a learning state for a long time? My experience is that the family must have one or several people with relatively high \”energy\” who are positive in facing life, problems, and difficulties, and then they can influence other people in the family. In a fundamental sense, a learning family is an atmosphere, a place, and a habit. On the one hand, it requires good family relationships, but it also requires family members to support each other. We often find it difficult to make such changes. If you want to reach this state in a few months or a year, of course it is a bit difficult. But if you stretch it out to three years, five years, or ten or eight years like us, you will find that it is not difficult to build such a family. If a person can take three to five years or even seven or eight years to transform himself from an ordinary state into an excellent state, into an outstanding state that actively faces society and has a sense of purpose and meaning, this time is not long. Because in this process, we are not only studying, but also living and working, and our family has become more and more happy and happy.

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