• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

A top student who graduated from a prestigious school cannot find a job. Are you still educating your children in this way?

Xiao Min, who grew up in a small town, was a top student. She had been ranked number one since she was in elementary school and had never wavered. At an age when little boys are climbing trees to catch birds and fishing in rivers, and little girls are playing with dollhouses, Xiao Min\’s academic performance not only makes her parents very satisfied, but also surprises her teachers. Relatives, friends and neighbors even mythologized Xiao Min. When criticizing their own children, their opening remarks would always be: \”Look at Xiao Min…\” Gradually, Xiao Min became forever known to children of the same age as \”someone else\’s child.\” \”. The friends are envious, jealous and hate Xiao Min! Everyone gradually became less fond of playing with her. Xiao Min, who was not popular among her friends, turned her head and devoted herself to studying, and her grades became increasingly outstanding. There will never be a student like this in the villages and towns for many years. The teachers all said that they must be trained well. Xiao Min\’s excellence made her parents happy, and they decided to create better learning conditions for Xiao Min. Mom quit her job in a small factory in the town and concentrated on taking care of Xiao Min\’s daily life at home, taking care of Xiao Min\’s sister by the way. After graduating from elementary school, Xiao Min was admitted to the best junior high school in the county without any suspense. In order to take care of her, her mother did not let her live on campus. After leaving her sister in the care of the elderly, she rented a house in the county to accompany her to school. On weekdays, she concentrates on washing and cooking for Xiao Min, and does odd jobs in her spare time. This companionship lasted six years. During this period, Xiao Min lived a life of reaching out for clothes and opening her mouth for food. She never washed the dishes once, never swept the floor once, and except for her own underwear and socks, she never washed her clothes once. My mother always said: \”I will do this, you go and study.\” Xiao Min lived up to her expectations and was admitted to a prestigious university. In college, Xiao Min, who lived on campus for the first time and lived in a collective, found that she could not integrate into her classmates at all. She doesn\’t understand fashion and fashion, and her mother buys all her clothes. She doesn\’t know how to dress up, and the skin care product she has used since she was a child is a large bottle of body lotion. Xiao Min didn\’t know how to deal with the world. When her classmates came back from a dinner together, everyone took the initiative to give their share of the money to the classmate who paid. Only Xiao Min had to wait for someone to ask questions. The roommate invited the whole dormitory to have a meal for his birthday. All the classmates bought gifts for the birthday boy, but Xiao Min ate the meal empty-handed. The wooden-like Xiao Min was quickly marginalized by her classmates. No one wanted to make friends with her, so she had to study hard as always. In her junior year, Xiao Min wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination, but her family did not agree because her younger sister was already in high school. Although her grades were not as good as Xiao Min\’s, she should be able to get into an average university. The family\’s finances could not afford two college students. Mom hopes that Xiao Min can go out to work soon. Xiao Min signed a good job with her excellent transcripts. Her parents were very satisfied, and Xiao Min was also very happy. But just a few days after officially starting work, Xiao Min couldn\’t be happy anymore. She has absolutely no discernment at work. The tasks assigned by the leader must be very specific and detailed, otherwise she will miss many details. If the leader does not explain the tasks, she will have no idea what to do. After a few times, what the leader said was no longer so nice: \”Why do you even ask me to say this?\” \”You can\’t handle such a small thing?\” The old colleague who took care of Xiao Min didn\’t think highly of her, saying that she Lack of initiative and enthusiasm at work, poor communication and coordination ability with colleaguesNot good, not sociable. She couldn\’t feel happiness and achievement at work, and her evaluation of herself was getting lower and lower. One day after joining the company for more than a month, Xiao Min heard the new employees gossiping about her at the door of the tea room: \”The talented students who graduated from prestigious schools are just like this!\” Xiao Min turned around and returned to her seat, sitting with her head down for an afternoon. , she resigned and temporarily lived with her aunt in the same city. The aunt was entrusted by Xiao Min\’s parents to help her find a job, making connections and collecting information. But she didn\’t like the jobs recommended to Xiao Min. Xiao Min lived at her aunt\’s house for two months. During these two months, her aunt and uncle were not very satisfied with Xiao Min. It was not that they were mean and did not care about the younger generation, but that Xiao Min\’s ability to take care of herself was really poor. Not as good as my aunt\’s cousin who is in elementary school. She stayed up late every night checking her phone, and didn\’t get up until around 12 noon the next day. The clothes he changed were put in the same box as his cousin, and he only washed his underwear and socks. Her aunt told her to go to the terrace to collect clothes in the evening, so she only collected the clothes and ignored the quilts hanging aside. When her aunt asked her to help wash the dishes, she only washed the dishes and didn\’t know how to wash the pots, let alone wash the rice cooker and wipe the stove. She doesn\’t even know how much water to put in when using a rice cooker to steam rice, let alone help her stir-fry vegetables and make soup. Xiao Min is a homebody who doesn\’t like sports. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, her aunt and her family went on a trip, but Xiao Min didn\’t go. Her aunt cooked a lot of dishes and put them in the refrigerator, telling her that she could eat them when they were hot. A few days later, my aunt came home and saw that the dishes in the refrigerator were intact. It turned out that Xiao Min had not cooked or gone out in the past few days. When she was hungry, she called to order takeout. The aunt and her husband are both working, and without the help of the elderly, it is already very hard to take care of the cousin. It is too much to have an extra \”big child\” who needs someone to take care of him. My aunt decided to have a good talk with Xiao Min and asked her what kind of job she wanted to find and what her plans were for the future. Xiao Min talked for a long time and still said she wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination. Asked her what to do with the tuition, she said: \”Borrow some from you, borrow some from my cousin, and I will return it to you. You can\’t just ignore me, right?\” The aunt with black hair called Xiao Min\’s parents, and the eldest brother The sister-in-law\’s attitude is very clear: she firmly does not support the postgraduate entrance examination. The child has become a nerd. We must not support her to continue studying. After that, her aunt introduced Xiao Min to two jobs. Xiao Min lasted for more than three months in the first job, but only worked the second job for more than half a month before resigning and returning to her aunt\’s house. Today, Xiao Min still spends three days fishing and two days posting resumes on the Internet, and her aunt and uncle are still trying to ask people for help… Xiao Min\’s aunt told me this story, firstly to vent her emotions, and secondly. I would like to give a reminder to all parents: Never raise your children to be indifferent to food and work. After carefully analyzing Xiao Min\’s experience, it is not difficult to find that Xiao Min actually lacks self-confidence. Maybe when she was young, she was full of confidence because of her excellent academic performance, but after entering university, everyone paid less attention to academic performance than before. Teachers and classmates paid more attention to other abilities, such as the ability to deal with people and social practice ability. . However, Xiao Min was lacking in all these aspects. From a highly talented student sought after by everyone, she was reduced to a \”wooden person\” who was ignorant of worldly affairs in the eyes of her classmates.It is difficult for anyone to adapt to this gap. After being hit hard, Xiao Min escaped from this disappointing and even despairing reality and returned to what she was best at studying. After four years of college, Xiao Min still wanted to hide in her own snail-shell world, so she wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination. If you want to continue your studies in a certain field, or find a better job with a higher diploma, there is nothing wrong with taking the postgraduate entrance examination if your family\’s financial conditions permit. But Xiao Min\’s situation is different. Her family\’s financial conditions do not allow her to study for postgraduate studies. More importantly, she takes the postgraduate entrance examination just to escape reality. So what about after completing a master\’s degree or even a doctorate? She always has to go out to work. Some people may say that you can become a teacher after graduation. Isn’t being a teacher a job? No complex interpersonal relationships? Just look at Mr. Qian Zhongshu\’s \”Fortress Besieged\” and you will know. A child who was so outstanding and dazzling when he was young cannot even find a job after graduating from college. Whose fault is this? There is no doubt that the biggest fault lies with Xiao Min\’s parents, who have raised Xiao Min to \”not eat the fireworks of the world\”. Xiao Min\’s biggest problems are two, one is her poor ability to take care of herself, and the other is she doesn\’t know how to behave. These two abilities are not something that everyone is born with, nor can they be acquired overnight when they grow up. Instead, they must be cultivated over time and nurtured over time in the process of growing up. In order for Xiao Min to concentrate on her studies, Xiao Min\’s parents took good care of her in life, and even wanted to do the meals for her. This actually deprives children of the opportunity to improve their self-care abilities. Similarly, in order for Xiao Min to concentrate on her studies, her parents encouraged her to spend all her time on solving questions and reviewing, and did not create conditions for her to interact with peers. This deprived her child of the opportunity to develop social interaction skills. A child held in one\’s hands every day will never learn to walk. Throughout Xiao Min\’s growth process, apart from studying textbook knowledge, she learned too little in other aspects. Xiao Min didn\’t even wash her own clothes at her aunt\’s house because her clothes were washed by her mother before. In her mind, it was natural for others to wash her clothes. Xiao Min didn\’t know how to give gifts when it was her classmate\’s birthday. Maybe it was because she had never participated in such human relations. It wasn\’t that she was reluctant to spend money, but she didn\’t expect to give gifts. She doesn\’t know how to wash the dishes and also wash the pot. She doesn\’t like to use her brain and lacks initiative at work. This is because when she was growing up, her mother arranged and planned everything for her, and she didn\’t need to worry or think by herself. Xiao Min has already I\’m used to doing everything as I\’m told. If Xiao Min can always live in a simple environment like her school days, and if her parents can always protect her under their wings, then there is nothing wrong with their approach. If not, you should let your child experience and wrestle while he is still young and can still get up after falling. Compared with academic performance, many aspects of a child\’s life ability, vision, personality, temper, upbringing, etc. are more important. However, too many parents are eager for quick success and quick gains, which ultimately leads to the sacrifice of good things. I hope the story of Xiao Min, a top student, can arouse everyone’s thinking.

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