When I went to the sauna, the conversation between my friend Chen Juan and her daughter made me sit next to me so embarrassed that I almost got cancer. \”Baby, let\’s go to the gym and run!\” The daughter was silent. \”Go, look, everyone has gone…\” Still silent. \”Why don\’t you go cycling? It will be good for your lumbar spine.\” Her daughter still lowered her head and said nothing. Chen Juan still seemed to be in high spirits, \”Go ahead, beautiful girl!\” \”Look at what time my brother and I made an appointment to end the computer games and go to the gym. He kept his promise and already went!\”… My daughter is still… A terrible silence. This conversation lasted for about ten minutes. No, it was not a conversation, it was mother Chen Juan talking to herself. In this soliloquy, Chen Juan chattered endlessly to her daughter. Later, Chen Juan finally ended the conversation with herself, smiled sarcastically at me, and went to the gym to find her youngest son. This is not the first time I have seen such a scene, and I know that what happened to Chen Juan and her daughter Yingzi today is not sudden. Because I often played with her when I was a child, she could still talk to me a few words. After Chen Juan left, I asked her, why didn\’t you answer mom? She said: It’s so nagging. I’m 14 years old and I’m still talking like a child. What a treasure. I keep nagging. I ignore her and keep talking. I can’t stand it! This kid is not bad. Because of his enthusiasm and hard work, he is still a labor committee member in the class, but his relationship with his mother is so awkward. Italian early childhood education expert Montessori once said: One of the things adults love to do most is to play themselves as God. In the past relationship between Chen Juan and her daughter, Chen Juan has always played the \”role of God\”, and her parents have the final say in everything about her daughter. If their daughter expresses objections, Chen Juan and her husband will force their daughter to implement it. During the process of communicating with her daughter, she will keep nagging her, just like what I saw today. Some parents are completely unprepared and do not treat their children as independent persons, so they are unwilling to shut up at the right time. Little do they know that it is their own nagging that pushes their children further and further away from them. In one episode of the variety show \”Longing for Life\”, Song Dandan got along with his son Batu, and he also saw a nagging mother who made the child helpless. As soon as the two of them arrived at their destination, Song Dandan began to tell Huang Lei and others: \”Quickly find some work for my son, he is too fat.\” Although Huang Lei, who has high emotional intelligence, tried to smooth things over by saying, \”Don\’t say people are fat, they are not fat.\” , but this mother has already made her son very embarrassed as soon as he appears. Later in the show, Song Dandan continued to nag his son. Sometimes he said his son was lazy, sometimes he said he was stupid, and then he talked about the origin of the names of his three sisters. Batu sat helplessly on the side, watching his mother and uncle chatter about stories that he might have heard hundreds of times. . He also compared his son with others, \”Why isn\’t my son so great? I want to talk to the Civil Affairs Bureau and give me another son.\” Batu was speechless and silently walked aside to boil eggs, while his mother continued to nag and find faults. : \”If you can cook eggs well, I can consider keeping you.\” \”You slapped your mother\’s porridge and face all over, so grinning, I won\’t eat these eggs.\” She scolded her son. It\’s not enough, I also chatter with the people next to me, and hold on to the child\’s childhood embarrassments.Let’s talk about the embarrassing incident in Batu’s kindergarten… Seeing the helpless Batu, you can feel his embarrassment through the screen. In reality, many parents are like Song Dandan. When they think that their children are disobedient and do not do things according to their own requirements, they will criticize them repeatedly, making the children go from restless and impatient to disgusted and disgusted. As time goes by, the children will It will create a rebellious mentality. In fact, constant repetition will only cause the message to lose its power, and a nagging tone will only make the child less willing to listen. Maybe parents should try to change their strategies and the way they communicate with their children, but unfortunately, many parents often fail to do this. In a survey, the top six behaviors that children dislike most about their parents were \”nagging\”. A cross-national comparative study also showed that the most intolerable thing for children, whether they are Chinese, Japanese or American, is their mother\’s nagging. It can be seen that nagging is a very offensive behavior in the minds of children, and this kind of nagging will also affect family relationships when the children grow up. A friend of mine, Yan Zi, has been a good girl since she was a child. She studies well, has good moral character, and never causes trouble to her parents. She is such a good child, but after getting married, she rarely goes home and gets irritable whenever she receives a call from her parents. One time when Yanzi was having dinner together, the phone rang. Yanzi glanced at it, sighed and picked up reluctantly: \”Oh, Mom, I\’m outside\”, \”Eating\”, \”Been with friends, yes, Yanzi\” \” I was busy picking up the children in the evening and went back to do my homework and couldn’t come. Oh, okay.” “No more, my friend is waiting.”… Yanzi couldn’t wait to hang up the phone. It sounded like a routine call, but why was Yanzi reluctant to answer it? Well, Yanzi said: You think it’s outrageous that I’m so impatient, right? But she has to make four or five such calls a day. I am married and have children, but my mother has to make several nagging calls every day. It turns out that Yanzi\’s mother is very nagging, and she has been like this since she was a child. When Yanzi was a child, she couldn\’t resist, so she had to stay silent. After getting married, she rarely went home to escape her mother\’s nagging, but her mother still called a lot, and she had to answer it boredly. As a result, Yanzi was unhappy in childhood and her mother was unhappy in old age, both because of nagging. Regarding nagging, it is not only difficult for children to accept, but also for adults. The famous writer Mark Twain once gave up the money he wanted to donate because of the pastor\’s nagging. That day, Mark Twain went to church to listen to the pastor\’s speech. At first, the pastor\’s speech was very exciting. Mark Twain was moved and planned to donate a sum of money. But after ten minutes, while the pastor was still chattering away, Mark Twain became impatient with the speech and decided to just donate some change. After another ten minutes, the pastor had not finished speaking, and there was a lot of verbosity and repetition, which bored Mark Twain, and he decided not to donate a penny. When the pastor finally finished his lengthy speech and began to solicit donations, Mark Twain was so angry that he not only refused to donate the money, but also took two dollars from the plate. Later, psychologists called this psychological phenomenon of rebellious psychology due to too much stimulation or too long an effect the \”over-limit effect\”, which made childrenBoring \”nagging\” is a typical manifestation of the over-limit effect. Just like Yingzi at the beginning of the article, facing her nagging mother and being stimulated by her mother\’s excessive words for a long time, she became numb to her mother\’s nagging, then became disgusted, and finally turned into ignoring. If you fail to adjust well in adulthood, you will be like your friend the swallow, avoiding your nagging mother and staying far away. It is undeniable that parents\’ love for their children is the most selfless, but selfless love also requires methods. Inappropriate methods will disgust the children and lead to a bad parent-child relationship. Nagging parents are often immersed in expressing their own feelings, but ignore the feelings of their children. As everyone knows, children whose feelings are ignored will drift further and further away from their parents. To establish a good parent-child relationship, sometimes \”shut up\” is the best way. In front of their children, selfless and measured parents are the best people to talk to. 1. Listen to your children. Many parents keep nagging but cannot hear their children\’s voices. Just like my friend Chen Juan, they think that they are the authority and their children only need to listen to themselves. They completely ignore their children\’s voices, which ultimately leads to the unwillingness of their children. Make noise and express anger with silence. 2. Respect children, respect their habits, and believe that children can do what they say. For example, if they see their children reading extracurricular books and not doing homework, parents will repeatedly say to their children, \”Hurry up and do your homework.\” In fact, the child has long said that he will do his homework after reading this chapter, but because the parents do not respect the child\’s decision and keep nagging him, the child will become bored and even deliberately not do his homework. 3. I believe that some parents of children are overly worried about their children\’s safety. Regarding water dispensers, some parents will keep nagging their two or three-year-old children not to touch the hot water side. Under the constant nagging of parents, children become more curious and want to touch. But in fact, if a child is burned once, he will not play in the future. Experience once is more useful than mother nagging 100 times. Marx said: \”When a human being learns to walk, he must also learn to wrestle, and only through wrestling can he learn to walk. Sometimes, speaking with facts is better than a thousand words.\”