• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

Child, I don’t want you to earn face for me

My mother-in-law took the child out to play on the weekend. When she came back, she said to me: \”Go buy some calcium supplements and come back to give the child a supplement.\” \”What\’s wrong? Is he deficient in calcium?\” \”I see other people\’s children are as big as him. He can still walk, but he still can\’t walk. He must be suffering from calcium deficiency. Why don\’t you go to the hospital for a checkup to see if there is anything wrong with him.\” \”He is only a few days shy of one year old, why are you anxious?\” I said. . \”Why aren\’t you in a hurry? Other people\’s children will leave, but my grandson won\’t. The first step in life is a bit worse than others!\” said the mother-in-law. I remember when I first came to Shenzhen after the Chinese New Year, many grandmothers who rented a house to take care of their children took a walk downstairs after dinner. My mother-in-law was one of them. Every time she comes back, she looks nervous and anxious, and wants to study the child carefully. Every day I heard her say to me: \”Come and see, why is his hair so thin? I just saw that the child downstairs has such thick hair!\” \”What the hell! Someone else\’s child is nine months old.\” He already has eight teeth. Why does he still have seven teeth at eleven months old?\” \”The child upstairs is a week younger than him and seems to be bigger than him. What should I do!\”… After more than a month of guidance from me, , she gradually calmed down a lot, but she still couldn\’t avoid making such a fuss. It\’s normal for first-time parents and grandparents to have this kind of worry. They\’re afraid that something might go wrong with their children. There is also a type of parents whose children develop a little ahead of others, so they develop an inexplicable sense of superiority, causing pressure and harm to other parents beyond words. Every child has his own growth pattern, why should we use others as the standard? As long as he is healthy and happy, walks a little later and has less hair, what does it matter? My husband’s colleague’s daughter is in kindergarten. When we had dinner together, he said: “I really don’t know how to persuade my wife. Every time there are guests at home, she forces my daughter to perform, dance, sing and recite.” After that, she still has to draw and write and read for everyone to see. My daughter is now very afraid of guests at home.\” \”Maybe your wife thinks your daughter is versatile and is proud of your daughter, so let her show it off!\” \”Maybe. , but are you sure it’s not for vanity? That time her best friend’s daughter performed mental arithmetic, but my daughter couldn’t do the math and stumbled over her recitation of poems. When my wife came back, she beat her up and said she wouldn’t take her out anymore. It’s so embarrassing!” We didn’t know what to say for a moment. After returning from the dinner, my husband said: \”We agreed not to compare our children with each other in the future, okay?\” I nodded and said, \”No one can try to encourage their children. We all need to respect their own nature, and those who can\’t do it will be punished.\” Fifty big boards!\” Children\’s innocence and cuteness are the most proud of, not their abilities at a young age. As adults, if we cannot gain a sense of satisfaction and existence by relying on our own performance and abilities, and cannot win respect and praise by relying on our own character and talents, we must instead rely on our young children to make us look good outside. We must say It\’s sad and incompetent. Instead of forcing your children to give you face, it is better to reflect on whether you are giving your children face. You want a child you can take care of, but you are a family you can take care ofIs it long? What always impresses us about children is never their scores, size, or talents, but their innate angelic and beautiful qualities. When you drag your heavy body home from work, your child will bring you your slippers; when your husband and wife quarrel, your child will tearfully advise you not to quarrel; when you are busy cooking and washing clothes, your child will sit down obediently. Watching TV on the side; when a little guest comes to the house, the child voluntarily takes out toys to share; when you take your child to the spring wilderness, he runs on the grass like a calf; when you are sick in bed, the little child is also worried …Moments like this are what we can treasure for a lifetime! My mother said that when I was a child, she was happy when I ranked first in the exam and when I won the prize for my essay, she was happy at that time. Those touches that she will never forget are all small things. For example, when I was three years old, my dad was out playing mahjong all night, and my mom was at home waiting for him to come back. I had to stay up late with her. Even though my eyes were really closed, I was still saying: \”Mom, I don\’t want to You will be scared to sleep alone!\” My grandparents passed away within a month of each other. I was eight years old that year. When I saw my mother\’s collapse, I said: \”Mom, are you an orphan from now on? Don\’t be afraid, you There are no parents anymore, but you have me!\” My mother burst into tears at that time. Now that I am a mother myself, I understand even more how my mother felt at that time. My son was very irritable during the days when he was weaned. One time he cried loudly in the middle of the night and couldn\’t stop. I felt sorry for him and started crying too. When he saw me crying so sadly, he tried to hold back his tears and leaned against me. He also knew how to exercise restraint for my sake. Not long ago, my son had a high fever, his throat was inflamed, and he couldn\’t eat. He was hungry for two days and only drank a little milk powder. In the middle of the night at the Children\’s Hospital, his sore throat was a little better, and he suddenly wanted to eat. We bought a bun, and he took it. His first reaction was to hold it in front of me and shout: \”Mom, Mom!\” I ate it. He didn\’t want to eat until he took the first bite. At that moment, I couldn’t eat or sleep because he had been ill for several days, and my eyes were wet with tears. Everything was worth it! My child, I love you not because you are excellent or outstanding, but simply because you are my mother’s child. You are the source and destination of my mother’s love. Just because you love your mother so deeply. In Wang Anshi\’s \”Shang Zhongyong\”, Fang Zhongyong is very talented and can write admirable poems without receiving a good education. His family seized this business opportunity and used him to decorate their appearance and obtain honor and benefits. The genius Fang Zhongyong, who was not properly cultivated and educated, eventually \”disappeared from everyone.\” It’s not scary if a child doesn’t have outstanding talents. Every child has his own advantages and is a unique being. What we have to do is to discover the strengths of our children and not to compare or force them. If a child has talents and extraordinary qualities, the most important thing is not to show off and exploit them immediately, but to appreciate and protect his talents, and give him good education and guidance so that his talents can thrive. Shortly after Truman was elected president, a visitor came to visit his mother. The guest smiled and said: \”You must be very proud to have a son like the president.\” Truman\’s mother replied: \”Yes,I\’m indeed proud. But I also have a son who makes me equally proud, and he is digging potatoes in the fields right now. \”Dear child, whether you will be a president or a civilian in the future, your mother\’s love for you will be the same. Nothing external is important, and nothing can compare to a pure heart and a passionate and sincere love for the world. Love. My dear child, it doesn’t matter if you leave later than others! Because mom, I want you to be happy, not to earn face for me.

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