• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

Children always turn a deaf ear to what adults say. How to discipline disobedient children?

I don’t know since when, Su Bao is no longer the child who responded to me immediately no matter what I said. There were times when she seemed to be in her own world and unresponsive to my instructions. For example, when Su Bao wanted to go on the swings in the park, I said: I’m too late today, let’s come back next time. Su Bao moved straight in the direction of the swing at a constant speed. Su Bao was sitting on the floor, flipping through a picture book, and I said, \”Baby, it\’s time to take a bath.\” After a long time, she slowly raised her head to look at me. The expression on her face was: I even discussed with Dad Su secretly: Is there something wrong with the baby\’s hearing? Dad Su smiled mysteriously, raised his voice twice and said, \”Shall we have ice cream?\” Su Bao, who was playing with building blocks two rooms away, rushed over and said: Mom and Dad! What are you doing? ! Where\’s the ice cream? I want to eat ice cream too! A few days later, when I was shopping in the supermarket, I saw a mother and a little boy of four or five years old. The child looked up and down at the candies in the supermarket and wanted to take a bag. While looking at her phone and putting things in the shopping cart, the mother said to her child: We are not buying candy today. The child turned a deaf ear to her words. Although this mother is talking to her child, she is doing three things at the same time: 1. Giving instructions to the child 2. She is busy 3. The child is busy There are too many distracting factors, no wonder the child cannot hear. I found that I had accidentally stepped on this misunderstanding: children\’s attention span is very short. If there are too many distracting factors during communication, it will be difficult for the child to pay attention to the words of adults. Instead, it will become the illusion that \”the child cannot hear me.\” With this reflection, I began to explore what effective instructions look like, and slowly summarized a more step-by-step 5-step method: 1. Physical contact: Before communicating with Su Bao about something important, I will pause what I am doing. Put a hand on her shoulder or back and use physical contact to turn her attention to me. 2. Eliminate distractions: If Su Bao is doing other things at this time, I will ask her to pause as well. For example, if Su Bao is playing with a toy, I will open my hand (not take it away suddenly) and ask her: I have something to tell you. Can the toy mother keep it for you for a while? 3. Confirm your eyes: Squat down and look parallel to Su Bao. 4. Instructions should be specific: children’s cognitive level and understanding are lower than adults. The content of communication with children should be very clear, specific, and expressed in steps. For example, after the baby drinks milk at night, it’s time to put away the toys and go to bed. This is an abstract instruction: go and put away the toys. This is a specific step-by-step instruction, which is more effective: first put the empty cup in your hand into the kitchen sink. inside, then go to your room, put the Lego on the table into the basket, pick up the picture books on the floor and put them on the bookshelf. 5-Let the child repeat the instructions: Sometimes we blame the child for \”not listening even after talking\”, but in fact it may It is because children have short attention spans and forget or ignore our instructions. For example, before we went out in the morning, I went to change Guozi’s diaper and let Su Bao put on his shoes. But sometimes I put away the fruits and found that Su Bao was just sitting on the stairs humming, with no shoes on. I reminded her that she just said to put on shoes, and she suddenly realized that I had not told Su Bao to \”put on shoes\”.There is something that really reaches her brain. Later, when I reminded Su Bao to put on her shoes, I asked her to repeat what her mother just said to make sure she heard it, and the success rate was much higher. The above steps can also reduce children\’s crying when an activity is terminated. For example, many mothers come to me for help and say that their babies like to watch TV and iPads and will cry if they are taken away. I remember that when Su Bao was watching cartoons, there were five minutes left to turn off the TV, so I would remind her in advance. But when I went to turn off the TV five minutes later, she burst into tears unprepared. I realized that when the animation was playing, when I reminded Su Bao, her attention was completely occupied and she didn\’t hear my words at all. Later, I switched to the five steps above (for example, when \”the reminder time is about to come\”, I paused the cartoon, asked Su Bao to turn his attention to me, and repeated what I said). When I turned off the TV again, Su Bao was mentally prepared. It’s also easier to accept. The above method can be summarized as follows: press pause, eliminate interference, and ensure that the information you want to convey reaches the child, so that the child can easily \”hear\” it. When our children have something to say to us, we must also learn to listen and set an example for our children to be good at communication (full article ends). Su Bao Kindergarten is on summer vacation during this period. I basically don’t have time to look at my mobile phone during the day. I listen to a lot of podcasts while driving and doing housework and feel very benefited. I wonder if there are mothers like me among readers who don’t have time to watch but can listen to them. That’s why today’s article has added audio. Please let me know if you find it useful~ “The child can’t hear me” is a behavior that can easily make adults angry. However, if you look at it from the perspective of children’s cognitive development, you will actually find that Many times they don\’t mean it. Of course, if the steps mentioned above don’t work, the old mother has one last resort~ Happy Monday!

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