• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

Children who often hear these two words are destined to be useless, you say it every day

When a child is too excited to play and refuses to go home; when he is holding the toy he wants in the store and refuses to let go; when he is messing around for a trip, what are the first things that parents think of? \”Be obedient, if you don\’t leave then don\’t leave!\” \”Be obedient, let\’s buy it next time.\” With a tone of promise or threat, the child obediently obeyed his wishes. Who doesn\’t want to have an obedient child? Parents\’ faces are always filled with proud smiles when they hear others praising their children for being \”so obedient!\” Obedience has become a yardstick. Parents have set up a yardstick to measure good and bad for their children since childhood: those who are obedient are good children, otherwise they are bad children. Good boys get rewards, but bad boys only get punishment. Last week, my friend Meimei brought her child to play at home. The little girl was especially obedient. She followed Meimei\’s eyes when eating fruit, playing with toys, and even going to the toilet. Every time the little girl opened her mouth to express something, Meimei would kill her thoughts with two words: \”obey\”. Such a little girl would probably get a compliment if she were put in any guest\’s home, but I only felt heartbroken when I saw her. Obedient children follow the rules and live the life arranged by their parents, like a soulless \”puppet\”. If you ask them what they want to do, you will always get a standard answer: \”My mother thinks…my father said…\” Such children not only lose their desire to express themselves, but also lose their ability to think independently. The child became mute. In the TV series \”Little Joy\”, the mother played by Tao Hong had a fierce dispute with her daughter. The daughter became angry and shouted, \”Can I stop talking?\” Does this scene sound familiar? \”Since no one is listening, then stop talking!\” An obedient child will one day become a \”mute\” who cannot speak at home, closing his heart and drifting away from his parents. They no longer resist, and they no longer think. Just like the children in the short film \”How to Tame the Rabbit\”, \”obedience\” makes them become mindless rabbits. I only say things that make adults happy, and I only do things that satisfy adults. As for self, it is no longer important to children wearing rabbit hoods. Even Pipilu, who fought tenaciously in the short film, had to give up his uniqueness in the end, pretend to be an obedient rabbit, and shut his mouth. The writer Bernard Shaw once said: \”Thoughts are life.\” So what is the difference between a child who has lost his thoughts and a walking zombie? No two leaves in the world are exactly the same, and no well-behaved children are the same. Parents should help their children find their own shining point, rather than using two words of \”obedience\” to make them become model students carved out of a mold. \”Disobedient\” children are smarter. Studies have shown that smart children with flexible thinking and strong learning ability usually have several characteristics: they are active, talkative, rebellious, and have a strong sense of self-interest. However, these characteristics that represent intelligence are a headache for most parents. Should we just ignore the children and let them be naughty? No, if you want your children to be \”obedient\”, parents should pay attention to methods and methods. Don\’t always restrict your children, butProblems should be targeted and breakthroughs made one by one, so that children can develop their own strengths while understanding the rules! Children who are active enough will not be able to sit still for a moment if they are allowed to play. Parents who have cat-and-mouse dramas at home every day probably want to tie up their children every time so that they can sit still for a while on the chair. But in fact, active children have more developed motor nerves than ordinary children, so they always want to jump up and down, consuming endless energy to keep them energetic at all times. Dandan Mama suggests that when dealing with such children, instead of yelling, \”Can you sit down obediently!\”, parents should take the time to take them to the park and play court, or enroll them in some sports classes. After spending a lot of energy outside, children can naturally sit down and rest quietly for a while when they get home. In this way, not only will the children get physical exercise and develop their interests and hobbies, but parents will also be liberated. Why not kill three birds with one stone? Let the talkative child talk as much as possible. When encountering a talkative child, parents often have one child with two older children. Every time they hear the child call \”Mom\”, they know that something is wrong, and they either ask a hundred thousand questions about why or they are naughty. But in fact, children who tell more truths just have a stronger desire to express themselves and hope to get more people\’s attention, so they continue to talk to attract others\’ attention. Children who always ask questions have more active thinking and richer imagination. Dandan’s mother suggests: Pay more attention to a child who talks a lot. Ask him “How was your day?” after school, and talk to him about embarrassing things in life. Let him feel that being loved and cared for is more important than anything else. In addition, parents can also let their children read and tell more stories to exercise their language expression skills and logical thinking. They may be able to train the next famous host~ Listen to the rebellious child talk about the child 1 year old The earliest rebellious period appears when children are young, and the sprout of self-awareness allows children to learn to refuse and resist. When they were young, they used physical movements to resist all the arrangements you made for them. When they grow up, they use all means to highlight their uniqueness. In fact, rebellious children are a manifestation of strong self-awareness. They are more independent, do not want to be restrained, and yearn for a free life. Dandan Mama suggests: When faced with rebellious children, instead of yelling and suppressing them, parents should calm down and listen to what they have to say. Understanding a child\’s true thoughts is much more important than letting him blindly accept arrangements. As the times develop step by step, parents have to admit that they can\’t keep up with the changes. The child must always let him walk his own path. of. Just think of it as a role reversal, this time it’s the parent who “listens”. To put it bluntly, it is actually the most normal behavior for children to be disobedient! Every child is an individual with an independent will and should enjoy an independent life instead of becoming an appendage of their parents. In the picture of life, parents can only provide pen and paper, and cannot complete the picture for their children step by step. Therefore, instead of letting children only know how to \”obey\”, it is better to let children create their own path. Parents, please be a guide instead of a stumbling block for your children on their way to growth. Stop using \”obedience\” to kidnap your children and give them more free space!

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