• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

Don’t be in a hurry to correct your children when they swear. The correct approach is this…

Many parents are very shocked when they hear their children say swear words for the first time. After all, no one in the family has ever mentioned this word. Who taught him? Are the people who teach him his friends? Will it lead him astray? On this matter, Korean parenting expert Cui Minjun does not think so. He believes that swearing is a language that children will be exposed to sooner or later. Instead of isolating it, it is better to face this problem head-on. In his book \”Raising Boys\”, he mentioned methods to correct children from swearing. Parents may wish to refer to it. Choi Minjun likes to share the joy of painting with children. Since 2009, he has been officially practicing art education for boys. He is known to the public through TV programs such as \”15 Minutes to Change the World\” and is the author of \”Our Children Are Induced Because of Art\” Change\”. How do children learn to say dirty words? As long as their sense of language develops to a certain level, children will immediately learn how to use words and express them. For growing children, language is like a contagious disease. When are boys introduced to swearing? Did it start in junior high school? no. There is a clear difference between the average age mothers know their children start swearing and the age at which children are actually exposed to swear words. Some mothers think that if the mother uses civilized language, the child will not swear. But that\’s not the case. For children in the growing period, language is like an infectious disease and is “contagious” very quickly. Therefore, in a kindergarten, as long as one or two children in a class of fifty say swear words, it is only a matter of time before the other children learn to say swear words, and swear words often spread instantly. In other words, no matter how much mothers pay attention to their language, there are still enough ways for children to be exposed to swear words. When the mother is not present, it is common for children to talk dirty to their friends while walking on the road. When you sit in an Internet cafe near school where primary school students gather, you will see a scene of swear words flying around, which is definitely beyond your imagination. But children are just as good at hiding their true selves from their parents as they are at learning to swear. When your child says dirty words, everyone in the community knows it, except the mother. There are too many cases like this. Just reading these descriptions is enough to stimulate me. The moment I heard the swear words coming out of the child\’s mouth for the first time, how intense the impact must have been on the mother? Some of the mothers I met during my consultations had one thing in common when they talked about their own experiences – they went crazy the moment they heard their sons say dirty words for the first time. Although the mother was thinking that she should stop the child immediately, she was not mentally prepared yet, and the words in her mind were not straightened out, and she was basically confused. \”Where did you learn such words?\” \”Huh? Everyone in the class said that.\” If the child\’s reaction is really like this, what should the mother do? He talked back so much that his hands were shaking with anger. What should my mother say? Should I say \”If you talk like this, you will really become a bad person in the future\”? Or should it be said, \”You can\’t say it even if other children say it\”? Perhaps the child\’s reaction to both statements is: \”Ah, I understand. I won\’t do that again.\” AlthoughAlthough he said this, it was not easy for him to truly repent. In addition, children are very good at hiding, so when a mother hears her child swearing, it is very likely that this is not the first time the child has said it. For some children, their mother\’s panic will give them the illusion that they are adults, and this will give them a faint sense of pleasure. When I was doing consultations, I found that many mothers didn’t have any good countermeasures for their children’s swearing, and they just denied it blindly. Many mothers believe that their children must unconditionally avoid swearing. It would be better if their children were not exposed to swearing at all when they grow up. There is no need to know about bad things early. In this regard, I understand the mood of mothers. Because of this, it seems that more and more mothers are allowing their children to receive \”home school\” education at home. It would be great if the children never knew anything like swearing throughout their lives, I would think so too. However, it is unrealistic to create and maintain a vacuum zone for children so that they will not be exposed to swear words throughout their lives. From elementary school to junior high school to high school, children may have cursed or heard swear words once or twice, so it is impossible to completely isolate them from swear words. For boys in particular, swearing serves as both a tool for displaying feelings and a secret code needed to form cliques. They may think that a boy who doesn\’t swear won\’t be a real man or won\’t fit in with a clique. Therefore, children are caught in the contradiction between the common sense that swearing is wrong and the reality that if they don’t swear, they are not social. In this case, many children are entangled in leading a double life, separating themselves as sons from themselves as men in school. Without understanding the environment in which the child is living, it is useless no matter how much the mother emphasizes that \”swearing is not good, and you cannot learn it no matter who swears\”. As long as you step into the world where children live, you will find that these words of the mother are just empty words that do not understand the children\’s human feelings and sophistication. Correct your child\’s habit of swearing. Children don\’t swear because they have gone astray. It\’s just language that they will be exposed to sooner or later. I have discussed with mothers how to deal with their sons swearing. Moms have provided a lot of input, and I want to share some of it with you here. First ask the child what swear words he has been exposed to, and the mother takes the initiative to educate the child on this issue. Then, the mother writes the curse words on the whiteboard or paper and works with the child to find out what they mean. This is somewhat similar to sex education. The benefit of this approach is that parents and children won\’t feel uncomfortable with each other when starting conversations about swearing. Generally, the time when parents discuss swearing with their children is when they catch their children swearing and prepare to reprimand them. And if the mother takes the lead in asking questions and then writes the dirty words the child has heard in large letters on the whiteboard, this can have the effect of bringing the child\’s hidden bad habits into the light. When the mother explains to her child the true meaning of swear words one by one, the child may cautiously say: \”Mom, actually so-and-so said swear words last time.\” The key point of this kind of education method is to make the child dare not Follow momMom\’s discussion part becomes available for discussion. There is another way – let the children watch their mother say dirty words. \”Son of a bitch!\” \”Yeah, don\’t move!\” Some boys\’ mothers said these two sentences directly in front of their children and asked them which sentence felt stronger. Such a mother understands her child\’s inner desire to appear strong. Just like that, the child laughed and thought, it turns out that speaking dirty words is not as strong as imagined. In the future, he will be stronger when he speaks civilized words. Although this is a method that can only be used by mothers with special charm, it is indeed an effective method to bring the parts of the mother\’s hands that have not yet been touched to the surface and discuss them together. In the exchange of various opinions and experiences, everyone expressed some common opinions-the most important thing is to be mentally prepared in advance when facing children\’s swear words. In addition, although some mothers know some good coping methods, they firmly believe that their children will not swear. This idea is the most dangerous. Everyone also holds the same opinion on this point. Such mothers will experience arming themselves with blind trust, only to be so angry that their hands and feet tremble. We need to realize that even the best-behaved children will have the experience of swearing. The child\’s swearing is not because he is bad, it is just the language he will be exposed to sooner or later. In order to face the arrival of that moment, mothers should be mentally prepared in advance. If the child has never said swear words, then by the time he reaches the first grade of elementary school, the mother must find a time to talk to the child about swear words in advance.

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