• Sat. Dec 9th, 2023

Either beat the child to cry, or make the child cry in anger? That\’s because you\’re too tired

I\’m particularly busy this week because Nuo Xi\’s father is on a business trip. What does it mean to me that Nuoxi\’s father is on a business trip? This means that I have to take Xiaoxi to school in the morning, which means I have to adjust the alarm clock from 6:00 to 5:50 to allow 10 minutes for washing and dressing, and I don’t have the half-hour to get back to sleep after cooking. This meant that Xiao Nuo had to be forcibly pulled out of bed by me at 6:20 and we set off together. This means that no one will tell Xiao Nuo stories after dinner, and they can only tell stories while sitting in bed before going to bed, so she will definitely not be able to go to bed until after ten o\’clock. This means that to urge Xiao Nuo to play chess, I can only yell from a distance while doing housework. Yesterday morning after I made dinner, I tried to wake up Xiao Nuo from his deep sleep. I called her, pushed her, sang in her ear, and told her stories, but there was no response. He lifted her up and sat up, then let her go and fell down again to sleep. I had no choice but to use my trump card: she got dressed and carried her directly to the car. Although I was out of breath and my buttocks were trembling after carrying the 40-pound baby to the garage, I would not miss Xiaoxi\’s school time, so I would use this trick almost every time. But Xiao Nuo showed signs of waking up yesterday morning, so she tried her best to resist: after putting her head in the sweater, she held her hands tightly in front of her chest and refused to be pulled into the sleeves by me; she kept kicking her legs and refused to put on socks; she put on the pants Kick it off – after putting on her right leg, she has already kicked off her left leg. Xiaoxi reminded her in the restaurant that it had been more than 5 minutes and she would be late if she didn\’t leave. In a hurry, I slapped Xiao Nuo\’s butt twice hard, and I carried her into the elevator while she was crying and making a fuss. Because of the crying, I couldn’t catch up on the so-called extra sleep in the car, and I was so angry that I refused to eat breakfast. I made an appointment last week to go to the hospital for a gastroscopy yesterday morning. The doctor said that I would start taking the number at 7 o\’clock. By the time I finished delivering the two babies, it was almost 8 o\’clock. I turned around and rushed to the hospital, parked the car and rushed in. It was already 8:30. Yes, naturally, I took a very late number. I was thirsty and hungry and waited until after 10 o\’clock to get in line. After the gastroscopy, I went to the outpatient clinic to queue up to see the doctor. It was already past two o\’clock when I got home after picking up the medicine, and there was only an hour left before picking up Xiao Nuo from school. I quickly turned on the computer, dealt with some urgent matters, briefly prepared dinner and rushed out. After picking up Xiao Nuo, he rushed to take her to a painting class. It was already past six o\’clock when we finally took both babies home. After cooking, eating, washing dishes, and cleaning up for a while, I threw a tablet to Xiaonuo and asked her to play chess. I started to deal with the official account, editing the push notifications to be sent at 9 o\’clock in the evening, proofreading typos, and replying to messages in the background. wait. Xiaonuo asked me if she could learn English for a while. After I agreed, she clicked on the APP on the tablet. I reminded her many times during the process to close the app and start playing chess. She either said \”immediately\” or \”at the last minute\” to me, and then waited for me to remember at some point before urging her again. After I set up the public account, I forcibly snatched Xiaonuo\’s tablet, rudely closed the APP with many English animations and games, and directly opened the chess website for her to enter the game state. Usually when the little guy sees that the game has begun, he will half-push and half-play chess. But last night she said she was thirsty and wanted to drink water. After drinking the water, she said she was hungry and wanted to eat. I know.This was definitely false, so he ruthlessly refused. She said she was too sleepy and didn\’t want to play chess. This is probably true, because I woke up an hour earlier than usual in the morning. But she hasn\’t played a game of chess today, let alone the game has already started, so I asked her to finish the game. She would moan and fuss next to me. There were times when she would not make a move for a long time and almost timed out. And because I was going to take an exam soon, the time was tight and the content was extensive, so I had to hold a book and recite the words. When I saw Xiao Nuo playing a game of chess with a good situation and saying that he should just admit defeat, when Xiao Xi started wandering around the living room without finishing her homework, when I memorized the book for half an hour but couldn\’t even get a single word. When I couldn\’t remember the explanation of the term, I almost collapsed. I criticized the sisters loudly. The stubborn Xiao Nuo started to lose his temper after being criticized by me. He raised a bucket of snow flakes high and fell to the ground with a \”crash\”. The colorful snowflakes immediately ran away, some rolled behind the door, some got under the sofa, and some even went to the bottom of the cabinet. It wasn\’t over yet, she threw the bucket of snow flakes far away. I was so angry that I took her hand and slapped her palm hard several times. She started to cry wildly… At that time, I wanted to cry too. My friend Aqiu divorced three years ago and lives alone with her daughter. The divorce was due to domestic violence from her husband. In order to escape, Aqiu wanted nothing but her daughter. Aqiu works in a supermarket from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., with one day off and one day off. The work was not particularly hard, but the income was not high. In order to support himself and his children, Aqiu found a similar job in another supermarket. Therefore, Aqiu has no weekends, no holidays, and no rest. I buy vegetables and daily necessities in the supermarket when I am not busy at work. Every day when I get home from get off work, I can’t say a few words to my daughter before I wash up and go to bed. The next day, I have to get up early to prepare the day’s meals. I bring my own in a lunch box and put my daughter’s dinner in the refrigerator. She said that for her daughter, no matter how hard or tired she was, it was all worth it. However, because there is no adult supervision, my daughter always fails to write her homework in time after school. Sometimes she doesn\’t start writing until Aqiu is about to get off work. I still procrastinate on my homework, often finishing it at almost 11 o\’clock. The error rate is also high, and I have bad study habits. So her grades were very poor and she was at the bottom of the class. Aqiu himself has not graduated from junior high school, so he is basically unable to help his fourth-grade daughter with her homework. She could only wash and mop the floor while nagging her to study hard, urging and criticizing her children. In the unit test last week, her daughter only scored 46 points in math. Aqiu was very disappointed. She scolded her daughter harshly, but the child actually talked back, saying that Aqiu had never graduated from junior high school, so she had no right to scold her! Aqiu was so angry with her daughter that she hid in her room and cried. I beat Xiao Nuo to tears last morning and night respectively. Of course I know this is not good. It’s not that I don’t understand the principles of parenting, it’s just because this skin is too tired! If I don\’t have to go to bed late and get up early, if I can have a good rest during the day, then I will be energetic, open-minded, and have more patience and love for my children. If there are not so many things waiting for me to do, I will not be so anxious, I will encourageI will encourage Xiao Nuo who lost in the chess game, and I will understand Xiao Xi who came out to drink water between homework. Assuming I have enough time, I can wait until the child falls asleep and then review it slowly. If I can\’t remember the concepts, I just read it a few times. When I asked Xiao Nuo to learn Go, I didn\’t expect her to get any rank. I just hoped that playing chess would make her calm down, learn to think before acting, and learn to control her temper and be less impulsive. But what did I do? I got mad at her because she refused to play chess properly, which made her even more irritable. He humiliated her verbally because she lost at chess, which made her even more reluctant to play chess. Slapping her palms because she lost her temper and threw things set a very bad example for her. Isn’t this putting the cart before the horse? Aqiu was angry at her daughter because she was dissatisfied with her child\’s academic performance but could do nothing about it. Thinking about her current situation, she simply didn\’t know what else to do except cry. If Aqiu didn\’t have to be so tired, she wouldn\’t be so anxious and wouldn\’t always nag her children. A tired body and an anxious mind make us restless and in a bad mood, like a firecracker that is about to explode. Either the child will be beaten to tears or the child will make him cry! Busy and tired mothers should slow down their pace, lower their demands, and be more tolerant of themselves and their children. For a child, nothing is as important as having a calm mother! For yourself, physical and mental health is the 1 in front of 0, and it is the capital of all revolutions!

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