• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

Far-sighted parents never do such things…

When the weather gets warmer, the family often takes time to go for a run by the river. While running, I suddenly discovered an interesting phenomenon. At first, the son liked to compete with his father. The two men were so eager to compete that they rushed out and disappeared without a trace. I lagged behind and ran slowly. Not long after, I met my son who had turned back halfway. I asked him: Where is dad? General Knowledge of Chinese Geography for Children Complete 253 Episodes MP3 He curled his lips and said: Run away. Then he told me that he was afraid that I would be bored alone, so he came back to accompany me. There was a moment of warmth, and then mother and son walked side by side. As I was running, my son would always encourage me: \”Mom, let\’s race?\” \”Mom, how about I let you go twenty meters first?\” \”Mom, you are running too slow. I will overtake you as soon as I speed up. …\” Seeing me running out of breath but lagging behind, my son always seems to be in high spirits. However, such a beautiful scene often ends abruptly when my husband comes running back. \”Boy, why didn\’t you keep up? I\’m older than you and I kept running. Why did you back off first? Come on, let\’s race with me again!\” However, at this time, my son was like a deflated ball. , no matter how much her husband encouraged him, he was unwilling to compete again. I secretly asked my son why, and he told me with some frustration: \”Dad always runs so fast that I can\’t catch up. It\’s boring, so I don\’t want to compete with him!\” Therefore, he would rather stay with me, a \”useless person.\” \”Being by his mother\’s side shows off his running ability. My husband complained a lot about this matter, and I was also very puzzled: They say parents are role models for their children. There are parents leading their children to rush forward, but why can’t their children fight hard? Later, I gradually discovered that my son always disdains many of the things my husband and I are good at. The reason is often: it’s not interesting to compare with you. It turns out that the power of role models is also a \”false proposition.\” Overwhelming children with excellence is the biggest accidental injury. Two days ago, there was a short video on Douyin of a British father teaching his mixed-race son English, which made countless netizens laugh out loud. The father is an authentic Englishman and the mother is Chinese, giving birth to a mixed-race son who failed every English test. The British father was extremely hurt and said to the camera: I am embarrassed to say that he is a mixed race. If parents are excellent, their children should also have their potential. Many times, we always project the halo of parents on our children as a matter of course, but in fact, this is just prejudice. Victor Hugo said: When a leaf is illuminated by sunlight, there must be a shadow on its back; the brighter the sunlight, the darker the shadow. Even though excellent parents can set an example for their children, in many cases, the excellence of parents can easily become the biggest accidental injury that crushes their children. Teacher Yin Jianli once mentioned the troubles of a professor at a key university in her book \”The Most Beautiful Education is the Simplest\”. This professor entered university from a rural area, then entered the city, where he studied for a Ph.D. She herself is from Kochi, and her husband is equally outstanding and is the general manager of a large enterprise. It stands to reason that if both parents are so outstanding and have set a good example for their children since childhood, the children are bound to excel, and no matter how bad they are, they should be on par with children of the same age. But on the contrary, the son who had high hopes did not live up to his parents\’ expectations. My grades in elementary school were okay, but my grades in middle school were so-so. After reaching high school, I lost interest in studying and finally passed the exam.After two books, I had to drop out of college after one year. Professors believe that after their children go to college, all that is left is to pave the way for their children’s careers. But who knew that college life made his son completely lose control of himself and become addicted to the game world, unable to extricate himself and unable to complete his studies at all. Faced with the indisputable facts, the professor shed tears of sadness as an old mother. Teacher Yin Jianli said: When children have problems, one of the reasons is the \”role model role\” of their parents. Excellent parents tend to have more energy, the more afraid their children will have problems, and the more they deprive their children of freedom, the more serious the consequences will be. In terms of society, excellent parents may mean good productivity; but in terms of families, excellent parents can easily become powerful, which is the greatest invisible harm to children. For example, Lee Yoo-nam, a well-known principal in South Korea, is the most successful teacher and the most hated parent by her children. The son and daughter, who originally had excellent grades, both dropped out of school on the eve of the college entrance examination. They just ate, slept, played games, and watched movies at home… After staying at home for ten years, they lived a life of \”waste\”. Li Liunan later reviewed her life. She regretted in \”Mother\’s Letter of Repentance\” that it was her use of the word \”excellent\” that forced her two children to lead a \”decadent life.\” \”My standard is that my children are at least better than me, and better than the best students I teach.\” Li Liunan worked hard to train her two children into excellent works. Therefore, she In addition to studying well, children also need to win many awards; even if they come back with the first place in the school, they are still greeted with a basin of cold water: \”The Chinese language has improved, but why has the math deteriorated? With your results like this In a prestigious school, I can\’t even rank in the middle.\” The accumulated blows over time will eventually trample and destroy the child\’s confidence. \”Capable\” parents cannot raise \”promising\” children, not because the children are too incompetent, but because the goal of excellence is like a bottomless pit. Children are inspired by excellence, and children are also crushed by excellence. The power of those role models in the eyes of everyone actually becomes a shadow that hangs over the children\’s psychology, lingering, and they have no choice but to escape. The desire to conquer is the motivation for every child to move forward. What is the experience of having parents who are too good? Zhihu has a question from a confused child, and there is a series of anonymous answers at the bottom. Through the text, you will find: Talking about the heroes of the Three Kingdoms: The Three Kingdoms Liu Bei\’s biography + Cao Cao\’s biography + Lu Bu\’s biography + Kong Ming\’s biography + Guan Gong\’s biography, all 551 episodes mp3 The desire to conquer is Every child has the motivation to move forward, but the unsurpassable height has also become a resistance on the child\’s way forward. One child said that because his parents were so outstanding, the most common teaching he heard at the dinner table when he was a child was: \”Role models are around you, learn from your parents.\” The excellence of his parents gave him huge but invisible pressure, forcing him to To achieve some set goals, you can imagine the hard work in the middle. Fortunately, the college entrance examination results were good. However, the voices around me always echo like this: Only excellent parents can cultivate excellent children. What is seen is the light of the parents, but what is covered up is the efforts of the children. Even though he was depressed, he had to continue to challenge himself to prove: I can do it! Being forced to excel, or a small blessing in growing up. But many times, i.e.Even if the children work hard to achieve the goal of being as good as their parents, they will still be disappointed in the end. One respondent lamented: His mother was a famous doctor, and due to his influence, he also embarked on the path of medicine and went to the same university as his mother. Although he has reached a visible height, in his heart, his mother will always be a mountain that cannot be climbed, and will always be a being that he longs for. What others see is the height, but what the child still has trouble with is the bumpy road. There are many more children who are confused under the light of excellence. His father has a bachelor\’s degree from Peking University, and his mother has a bachelor\’s degree from Peking University and a graduate degree from Tsinghua University. Because of his parents\’ work, he has lived in a compound since he was a child. \”Go to Peking University? Or Tsinghua University? If you don\’t go to Harvard, you can\’t be worse than your dad…\” He has been planning for the future under the aura of excellence since he was a child, but he clearly realized that he had no ability to take the Tsinghua University exam. Every time he thinks about the future, he feels painful and confused… Every child has a dream of conquest hidden in his heart, especially in close relationships. They long to be recognized by their parents and also long to surpass their parents. Being surpassed is a sense of accomplishment. In the joy of victory when the desire to conquer is satisfied again and again, the child\’s confidence will continue to be built and the child will be full of motivation to move forward. But unfortunately, in life, too many parents often ignore the height of their own excellence and the efforts of their children, but blame their children for their \”deficiencies\”. The insurmountable difficulty makes the children suffer, and the dilemma of not being understood destroys the children\’s confidence time and time again. Parents who are far-sighted and know how to make their children good parents certainly need to be excellent role models in their children’s eyes, but they also know how to make their children better: they neither “compete with excellence”” against their children, nor do they set an out-of-reach role model for their children. They know how to succeed in their children and always cultivate a positive and optimistic attitude in their children so that they can grow up in positive endeavors. How to make children full of motivation to move forward, two suggestions for parents. 1) \”Just jump and you will get a peach.\” Some people say that as big as the parent\’s heart is, the child\’s stage will be as big as it is. This is true. Parents help their children set up lofty ideals, which is conducive to broadening their children\’s life pattern. But at the same time, parents should help their children break down big goals into small goals, so that children can \”jump and pick peaches.\” Make wishes come true. Only in this way can we more effectively motivate children step by step, tap their potential, and stimulate their inner drive. 2) Learn to show weakness. Professor Li Meijin once pointed out in \”Round Table School\”: After the age of 12, parents\’ communication methods must change. The most important thing is that parents must learn to show weakness. In life, too many parents rely on their status as elders and always think that they must maintain authority to make their children obedient. They cannot accept bowing to their children by \”showing weakness\”. But in fact, showing weakness is not giving in, nor is it a bottomless concession to the child. On the contrary, it is a kind of nurturing wisdom and a communication skill that uses silent power to help children gradually become stronger and achieve their growth. I once saw an educational cartoon. In the picture, a father is covered with branches and arms, encouraging his children to fly. The child jumped up and flew, hovering lightly in the air. What is a good education? A good education does not depend on what parents teach their children, but when parents reach a certain level of self-realm, they will naturallyDevelop personality strength. Children will inspire themselves, consciously improve, and strive to become the best version of themselves. Good book recommendation: The Gardener and the Carpenter e-book, child psychology book PDF download, just like Jaspers said: Education is like a tree shaking a tree, a cloud pushing a cloud, and a soul awakening another. a soul. Parents who are truly far-sighted raise their children with a normal mind and achieve success with their calm mind!

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