• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

Good parents decide their children\’s lives, it depends on whether you dare to say these three words to your children

Seriously, have you ever sincerely apologized to your child? Why ask this. Because in many people\’s minds, elders do not need to apologize to younger generations. For example, even if your elders are wrong, even if they don\’t apologize, you still have to be tolerant and forgive. I still remember one time when I took my children to play in the park. Several children got into a fight over tools. There was a child whose grandfather saw that his grandson couldn\’t beat him, so he went over to help. He pushed the other child hard. The child sat on the ground and cried. His mother happened to see this scene and came over. I asked how the child was doing. Then he said to the grandfather: \”Did you just push my child?\” \”He bullied the younger one, so I will help you control him.\” In fact, the two children looked about the same age. \”Please apologize to him, because adults should not do anything when children are playing with each other.\” I think this mother has been very restrained. Unexpectedly, the grandfather was so exposed: \”You want me to apologize? I have never apologized to my wife or children. You want me to apologize to a child!\” He seemed to feel that he had been greatly humiliated. Seeing this scene, someone nearby advised the mother: \”Forget it, the child is fine. It\’s not appropriate to ask an old man to apologize to a child.\” She calmly patted the dust on the child\’s butt. Then he squatted in front of the child and said to the child: \”I\’m sorry, mom was negligent just now and didn\’t take good care of you, so you were bullied.\” \”Mom, I\’m fine, let\’s go play.\” This mother used practical actions to teach her Everyone learned a lesson. But the old man was still nagging: \”It\’s a joke to ask me to apologize to a child.\” Outside, I felt a little wronged and could not get an apology from the other party. Sometimes we are helpless. And at home, if you have always been the obedient and well-behaved one. Even if you are hurt or misunderstood, you will not receive an apology from your parents. Then life is really bleak and colorless. Some people say that parents are waiting for our thanks, and we are waiting for their apology. Too many of our families believe that their parents are heaven and the law. The child can only obey. Don\’t think this is impossible. Not long ago, Wenzhou\’s \”underage female Durban\” was banned. A parent who sent his children to the school mentioned, “Children like to play with mobile phones at home and don’t like to work. The school does not teach them to be polite or love to work. Here, children can learn to respect their parents, and then participate in some collective labor and learn some skills. Life skills.\” This is the seemingly simple idea of ​​many parents. In fact, it is often the case that I don’t have the patience to teach my children and want to give my children to others to teach. If others say it is good, he thinks it is good. And they don\’t take into account the children\’s wishes, nor do they care about what the children learn. I didn\’t know after this class was banned. How many parents would seriously reflect and say sorry to their children? I am afraid that most parents will tell their children, I sent you to study because I love you. I didn’t expect to be cheated, the liar deserves to die. But I just don’t feel that I actually pushed the child into the abyss with my own hands. For most people, the family of origin is a lifelong pain. Day after day, or at some point, your scars will be revealed. And the most helpless and painful thing is that you can\’t tell anyone about these pains. And it’s hard for you to escape or ask for anything back.Apologize. Because there is a voice in the dark that will tell you, \”Parents are sacred. No matter what, your parents gave birth to you. No one can deny this relationship. You have to be grateful.\” Do you still have the courage to recover the debt you owed back then? \”I\’m sorry\”? On the road to leading their children to grow up, it is said that parents are their children\’s best role models and teachers. But in fact, this role model and teacher are also full of shortcomings and shortcomings. I will also make many, many mistakes. For myself. There are many shortcomings that are difficult to overcome. For example, I don’t like to clean up my faults, I always leave things behind. Also, I have a more casual temperament. If I have an idea all of a sudden, it will disrupt the rhythm of my life. These have actually affected children. As parents, you must learn to reflect and correct your mistakes. Admitting mistakes to your children is actually a kind of acceptance of yourself. Accept your mistakes and speak up about them. But some people never admit their mistakes, even if they are really wrong. It’s not that they don’t know how to do it, it’s that they don’t have the courage to admit their mistakes. For example, most of us parents try to control our children but forget to respect them. When you were little, you told your baby that what you were doing was wrong. Children listen. Ask him, do you understand? He always says he knows! Know it! But one day, you blame your child for not doing his homework seriously and procrastinating on things. Then ask him, can he do it better next time? The child becomes angry and refuses to answer you. Maybe you don’t realize that your accusations are often exaggerated, or are simply imaginary. Maybe you are invisibly amplifying your anxiety and venting some of the negative emotions in your heart. When children have their own ideas and can make distinctions. What they need at this time is not your domineering accusations. It’s not like you just tell him what to do and how to do it. They will feel not understood and disrespected. Of course, he expressed his attitude through resistance. Xiao Xiaoyu will also have many such moments. Although I felt a little strange at first when I saw his determined resistance. He even thought of ways to make him surrender. But then I changed my mind. A child\’s resistance is precious. I don’t want you to be meek, smile at everything, always think about whether I like you, and ignore whether you really like me. Being sensible should not be our requirement for our children. Respect is the best gift for their growth. So, after reflecting on it, I said sorry to my children countless times in my heart. And when I actually accidentally hurt him. I also hope that I have the courage to say \”I\’m sorry\” to him loudly. When I make a mistake, I sometimes have inner conflict. I am afraid that my child will look down on me and find it difficult to discipline him. Because Dad, you yourself have made mistakes, so don’t blame me if I make mistakes. Then I tried it. Found out it wasn\’t what I thought. On the contrary, my children appreciated my honesty. Sometimes he comforts me and says, \”Dad, it\’s okay. I often make mistakes too! Correct next time.\” And sometimes I also add a sentence: When you see Dad making mistakes, you have to say it out and correct it, so you have to say it when you make mistakes. , we also need to change, how about we work together. \”Really don\’t be afraid. When you learn to apologize to your children, they will love you more. It\’s really interesting to say. Children always forgive us easily. Even if weScold them, hurt them. It seems to be okay, and after a few days it\’s like it never happened. Because children often have much more love and tolerance for their parents than adults. So you ask parents to rate their children. Often they cannot get high scores because in the eyes of parents, children always have many problems. But children are asked to rate their parents. But low scores are rare. Even if the father often fails to fulfill his promise to play with his children, the children will say that the father is too busy and hard at work. I forgive him! Even if your mother often blames you, your child will say that it\’s because I didn\’t do a good enough job and made my mother angry, so I don\’t blame my mother! Children\’s love for their parents is often unconditional. Why do we have so many restrictions on our love for our children? Why can\’t you give me a hug when I feel like it? Say I love you when I want to say I love you. When you make a mistake, do you naturally and sincerely say sorry to your child? Happy children have the opportunity to taste the sweetness of love given by their parents. There is also an opportunity to forgive parents and sincerely apologize. Please don’t let your children wait for that late “I’m sorry” all their lives.

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