• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

Happy families are all similar, they all have a father who has a \”lively eye\”

\”Go to the kitchen and get the bowls and serve the rice!\” \”After you finish eating, wash the bowls and mop the floor!\” \”Go and get the information for your son\’s tutoring class!\” \”In two days\’ weekend, I\’m going to get the information for my son\’s tutoring class! The car has been sent for maintenance!\”… The \”loud voice\” of the neighbor\’s sister-in-law was like a set alarm clock, which sounded on time at dinner time every day, and did not end until she took her son to a tutoring class. Through a wall, you can hear her daily instructions. Many people envy her for having an \”obedient husband\”, but she doesn\’t feel happy. During a casual chat, she complained to me: On the surface, my husband comes home on time from work every day, helps me with this and that, and obeys what I say, but only she knows that – with a man who \”has no life in his eyes\” How tired it is to live with a man. You have to consider everything by yourself. If you ask him to do something, he will just turn around and do it wherever he is pointed. It\’s not like your little family, who pretends to be a living person and doesn\’t need you to worry about it. Everything at home is well arranged. Look at you in your thirties and there are no wrinkles on your face. If you look at me again, I\’m already aging prematurely. In fact, there are many traditional good men like the neighbor brother. Their advantage is that they \”listen to their wives and do whatever they ask.\” As everyone knows, they are using obedience and help to cover up their \”lack of life\” and throw the burden of life on their wives. Therefore, it is often said that families where the husband can share the housework are happy. But I want to say: a family is lucky to have a father who has a \”lively eye\”. A father who has \”an eye for work\” can not only take the initiative to take on the housework and understand the mother\’s hard work, but he can also see the trivialities and pressures of life and shoulder the responsibilities of the family. Some people regard \”having a clear eye\” as the iron rule for success in the workplace, but when faced with the trivialities of family life, it is not a good medicine. Liuliu once described the complexity of housework in \”The Life of a Housewife in Cinderella\” like this: Do the laundry today, collect the clothes and fold them and iron them tomorrow, plaster and tidy up the house the day after tomorrow, do the laundry the day after tomorrow, and collect and fold the clothes and iron them the day after tomorrow. Clothes, the day after tomorrow we have to mop the floor, dust, vacuum and tidy up the house. You have to cook every day and wash the dishes after cooking… These are just the tedious tasks of ordinary housework, but housework is not the only thing a family faces. You also need to take care of people and the world, plan family expenses, and pay attention to the growth of your children. If you are not careful, life may become a mess. However, between \”chicken feathers\” and \”warmth and harmony\”, there is often only one \”man\” between them. My mother often said that she was a lucky person, having met a father who had \”life in his eyes\”. Her father would do everything she needed to do without asking her. Living with her father, she never had to worry too much. On weekdays, when mother is tired, there is no need to force herself. The father can wash the bowls and mop the floors; when the children are studying, which school they will go to and which remedial classes they will attend, the father will propose several plans and discuss them with the mother; when the grandparents are sick and hospitalized, the father can also do his best. , arrange everything. My mother once joked that with people like my father, my brain cells can be nourished very well. In \”The First Half of My Life\”, there is this sentence: Life is not easy, you need to find someone to help you through thick and thin. What does it mean to be in the same boat?? Deal with the trivial matters of life together, plan the direction of life together, and bear the responsibility of birth, old age, illness and death together. The failure of most marriages is not because of cheating or change of heart, but because of the trivialities that annihilate the pleasure of getting along with each other. They complain in the trivialities, are disappointed in the trivialities, and die in the trivialities. Tu Lei said that the real responsibility is to care about the feelings of the people you love every minute and every second. As a mother, the love words you most want to hear are not \”I love you\”, but when you are coaxing your baby to sleep and you are exhausted, you hear your husband say: \”The clothes are washed and the floors are mopped. I will take care of it tomorrow.\” It’s about your child’s remedial class. You should go to bed as soon as possible.” The successful combination of every family is inseparable from each other’s feelings. To take care of each other, we must share each other’s burdens. Doing what I can and to the best of my ability is also a husband’s best responsibility to his wife, family, and children. A father with \”lively eyes\” has a subtle influence on his children. Teach your children to do their own thing. When my son is two years old, when he sees his father mopping the floor, he will also take a rag and wipe the floor in a decent manner; when he sees his father tidying up the room, he will take the initiative to put the books on his small bookshelf. …Now it has become a habit. Every day after dinner, before my son goes downstairs to play with his father, he always packs up the toys scattered in the living room in advance. \”I am a member of the family, and these are the things I should do.\” This concept has been ingrained in the children\’s hearts. Let the children see the love their father has for their mother. On my birthday last year, there happened to be a very important project summary meeting. It was already eight o\’clock in the evening when I got home. Pushing the door open, the home is clean and tidy, and meals and birthday cakes have already been placed on the dining table. My son, who is less than 4 years old, is putting birthday candles with his father. That day\’s dinner, my son enjoyed it very much, because every dish on the table had his \”contribution\”. Every time I ate a dish, he never forgot to ask: \”Mom, is it delicious?\” After receiving my affirmative answer, his face was full of pride and satisfaction. After dinner, my son asked me, \”Did you have a happy birthday?\” I replied that I was very happy. He actually leaned into my ear and whispered: \”Mom, dad and I love you!\” Dad\’s proactive behavior has lit up a light of love in his son\’s heart. This lamp helps children learn to love others while also providing inner peace of mind. Let children experience the fun of participation. The famous British cartoonist Anthony. Brown has a popular comic \”Piggy Book\”, which shows the situation of the Piggott family: the mother does all the housework, and the father and the children live a life of \”clothes are available for hands and food is available for mouth.\” However, even so, every day after dinner, the father and the children would lie on the sofa lazily and boredly, with no sense of happiness at all. The father\’s withdrawal from family affairs deprives the children of the experience of happiness. If there is life in the father\’s eyes, the children will consciously participate in it and experience the joy of participation and contribution; if there is no life in the father\’s eyes, the children will only sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labor, develop the habit of dependence, and lose their original fun. As the Soviet educator Zhankov said, everything that children can understand and feel by themselves should be allowed to understand and feel by themselves. To understand and feel, you must participate. Participation is not a word, but an action that allows children to learn.. A behavior or a concept determines a child\’s happiness and also affects the child\’s future. Over the years, their colleague Wenwen’s mother-in-law has been helping them take care of their children. She was very grateful to her mother-in-law for her efforts, but at the same time she felt helpless about her husband\’s \”nothing\” attitude. She said that her husband was like an invisible person at home, and family affairs and children\’s affairs seemed to have nothing to do with him. \”My mother-in-law is very capable. When she was young, she was the only one in the house and outside the house. She paid for our wedding house. Now she does all the housework for me, but she takes my husband and her own My husband has become two people who are completely unable to take care of themselves.\” If possible, who wouldn\’t want to \”keep their hands clean\”? Rather than saying that her capable mother-in-law deprived the two men around her of their ability to take care of themselves, it is better to say that she met a man who \”had no life in his eyes.\” He cannot see the trivial matters at home and outside the home, and is unwilling to shoulder the family together with his wife. And this also affected their son, Wenwen\’s husband, who also became an irresponsible person. \”That\’s what my dad did. Aren\’t we still living a good life? Why should I worry about that?\” As the saying goes, words are not as good as words. A father\’s \”eyes on the road\” is to tell his children through actions: Dad takes the initiative to shoulder the responsibilities of the family. This is what a father should do. When a father does the housework smoothly and arranges everything properly, a responsible and responsible image is established in front of the children. A seed of \”Dad loves Mom\” ​​is planted in the child\’s heart, and a happy and loving family is formed. A happy family is a paradise of birds singing and flowers fragrant. Children who grow up in love and responsibility never need to find happiness. Because happiness is always by his side. There is life in dad\’s eyes, which means there is love in his heart. When there is love, there will be sharing, and sharing means caring. Only caring can make love last forever.

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