• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

Having an introverted child turns out to be a blessing

I have written about my second eldest child several times, and my friend said, this is unfair, you never write about the eldest child. Then let me write about my eldest child: Ke\’er, a boy. Ke\’er was born delicate and fair, with delicate facial features and a fondness for smiling. I once thought he was the most lively and cheerful child in the world. Such a character is really good. However, gradually, I discovered that this was not the case, especially after he was one year old, it was obvious that he did not play with any children. When others approached him, he ignored them. I am even less willing to go to other people’s homes to play, and I am extremely sensitive to the environment. He doesn\’t seem to need friends. I guide him to get along with children, but he still plays by himself or with me. I have to come to the conclusion that he likes to be alone. Children will be obsessed with slides at a certain period of time, and Kerr is too. When I came to the park, I saw many children on the slide from a distance. Ke\’er stopped, held my hand tightly and said timidly: Mom, there is someone. \”You go too, let\’s play together.\” Ke\’er shook his head. I found an empty mineral water bottle, and the two of us picked up pebbles under the tree. He also enjoyed it so much that he seemed to have forgotten the original purpose of the slide. I kept looking at the slide out of the corner of my eye. At some point, there was no one on the slide. I turned to Kerr and said: Kerr, look at the slide. Kerr dropped the bottle in his hand and ran towards the slide like crazy with joy. I looked at his little back and felt pity for him. I followed him all the way, and he slid around, ran to me, leaned on my knees, raised his face and said, Mom, I can play now, I can play now. I can\’t describe that smiling face and happiness in words. I thought sadly: My child. During that time, I read parenting books and collected posts online about how to make introverted children blend into the crowd. It turned out later that all the tricks were bluff. If you are a mother, if you have spent time with your children attentively, you will know that you cannot force your children to do anything. The look in their eyes will shatter any will you have. So, I no longer forced him to blend in. If he wanted to play in the sand alone, he could just play alone. If he doesn\’t want to go to his friend\’s house, he shouldn\’t go. At home he only plays with two things, bottles and pots. Soy sauce bottles, vinegar bottles, vases, various bottles. Pressure cookers, saucepans, casseroles, all kinds of pots. He has no interest in toys in general. His aunt joked: Baby, you must remember to compete on \”Top Chef\” when you grow up. Ke\’er always likes to line up all kinds of bottles in a row, arrange them neatly, and then lie down on the ground to admire them. He can enjoy them with a smile for a long time. The book said that these behaviors were autistic. Even though others were worried, I never suspected that he was autistic. He can communicate with me very smoothly, and my mother\’s intuition is not wrong. Kerr often doesn\’t play by common sense. He said he wanted to go to the zoo, and finally went there on the weekend. Instead of going to see the animals, he sat on a bench in the zoo and smiled in a daze. Or lying under the tree, looking at the leaves, the colorful shade falling on his face, enjoying it very much, my Kerr seems to have a fairy spirit of his own. He said he was going to the library. Along the way, he jumped happily and said he wanted to borrow Thomas\’s book. After arriving at the library, he did not rush over to find books, but said mysteriously: Mom,What do you smell. I asked: What does it taste like? \”Smell it, doesn\’t it smell like Thomas?\” Kerr looked excited and happy. \”Mom, listen, the smell of Thomas comes from here.\” Kerr crawled on the floor and circled the bookshelf, attracting the attention of others, but I did not stop him. After crawling on the floor a few times, he saw the small stones outside the window and said he wanted to go downstairs. When he got downstairs, he did not play with the small stones. He saw the green lawn. After running around on the lawn for a few times, he Asked to go home. You don’t have to read books when you come to the library, you don’t have to see animals when you go to the zoo. Suppose you have such a child, his smile is like an angel, his heart is as pure as crystal, his hobbies are different from others, his behavior is always different, he is always unsociable. Fortunately, you can understand him. As long as you can understand him, everything will still be so beautiful. As Ke\’er got older, his behavior finally became more down-to-earth. At this time, others commented on him as \”cute baby\”. In fact, to put it crudely, he was slow. Especially when it comes to specific things. He wasn\’t able to call his classmates by their names until his kindergarten graduation year. At family gatherings, I am most afraid of others giving me questions. One person who loves to ask questions said: Ke\’er, look, Mengmeng is one year older than you, and you are one year older than Tongtong. So, how old is Mengmeng than Tongtong? Woolen cloth. Ke\’er can add and subtract within 10, but cannot understand \”such a complicated\” relationship between characters. Sure enough, Ke\’er thought for a moment and said calmly: I don\’t know! The children all laughed, and Ke\’er also laughed happily. The child\’s father stood aside and was embarrassed from his hair to the soles of his feet. It actually only took a few subway stops from home to his aunt\’s house. When returning home, Kerr said: Goodbye, we are back to Shanghai. The child\’s father has explained the concept of region to him many times, but he still has no imagination. The most embarrassing thing to say is that now that he is in elementary school, he has never been able to distinguish between yesterday and tomorrow. He attributes everything that has happened to yesterday and everything that has not happened to tomorrow. For example, two weeks ago, when he went to a museum, he said: Mom, let’s go to the museum again, the one we went to yesterday. I explained the concept of time many times, and my sister who was listening understood it all, but he still looked cute. Later, I had no choice but to comfort myself with Long Yingtai\’s words: Child, take your time. Ke\’er seems to be sane and even advanced when it comes to the things he is obsessed with. He is obsessed with animals, starting with dinosaurs. I started studying dinosaurs when I was about four years old. I read a dinosaur book while eating and sleeping. Before going to bed at night, put the dinosaur book under your pillow and open it as soon as you open your eyes in the morning. When he was five years old, he asked me: Did dinosaurs rule the earth in the age of dinosaurs? I say yes. He asked again: Who is ruling the earth now? I said: What do you think? He said: Human beings. I was shocked. It was unexpected for him to be able to say the word \”domination\” at his mental level. The last \”human\” completely overturned me. Last year, Kerr started studying sharks and whales. In short, he is far more interested in animals than in people. One day he asked me: Which is bigger, the blue whale or the whale shark? This is really difficult for me. The online explanation is: the whale shark is the largest fish, the blue whale is not a fish, and the blue whale is the largest mammal. This is a bit convoluted. I\’m thinking: Who is it?Even bigger. Kerr immediately said from the side: I understand, the blue whale is bigger than the whale shark. Why can\’t he understand \”yesterday\” but can understand such a complicated sentence? Innateness, nature, is not a very magical thing. Kerr started studying space this year. He asked me about the rotation and revolution of the earth. I took two balls and demonstrated it. He immediately said the relationship between day and night, the change of seasons, and the rotation and revolution. I was surprised again, then smiled and sighed at the wonder of life. God gave each child an equal amount of stars, but some children\’s stars were piled up in a corner and forgot to spread out, and their light only shone in that corner. Ke\’er\’s observation of living things is far more detailed than that of humans. He often came up with golden words: Mom, look, the wind blows the seeds and they fall to the ground and sprout. Plants can do this. Animals have no choice. Animals must continue by giving birth to babies, otherwise they will become extinct. Ke\’er is shy, but if he sees someone picking flowers, whether in the community or in the park, he will bravely step forward to stop them, and say a little nervously: They are all living things and cannot be picked. In the documentary \”Post Zero\”, what touches me most is not the education, but the little lives. The state of the child at the age of 3 is exactly the same 10 years later. Children who like to be alone will still have a quiet temperament when they grow up, and the King of Children will still be an active member when he grows up. It\’s as if the child itself has a program. The nature of reverence for life is just like my Ke\’er. Ke\’er, thank you for coming to the mortal world and being my child. Walking with you made me realize that the duty of parents is to protect their children as they are.

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