A friend attended a parent-teacher meeting and the teacher said to her: \”Your child is good in all aspects, but his personality is too introverted. I hope parents can give more guidance and make him more cheerful and lively next semester.\” My friend knew that the teacher meant well, but she was often worried about her child. An introverted personality will not be popular in the group. But because she has a quiet personality, she can\’t help but wonder: What to do if your child is introverted PDF download [HD scan version 34.6M] \”Is introversion really a character flaw?\” What to do if your child is introverted PDF download [ High-definition scanned version 34.6M] Coincidentally, the group leader watched a TED talk, and the speaker, Susan Cain, also encountered similar confusion when she was 9 years old. That year she went to summer camp, and her mother packed a suitcase for her and filled it with books. This is a normal thing for her, because their daily activity is reading books. The summer camp she thought was just a dozen girls sitting around reading books comfortably. But I didn\’t expect that the summer camp was more like a party, with a group of people making noisy noises. She finally waited until the party was over, then hurried back to the dormitory to read. When she picked up the book, a girl in the same dormitory asked her: \”Why are you so quiet?\” At that time, she suddenly realized that she seemed not to be very gregarious. But she still chose to read in bed whenever she had free time. Not long after, her team leader came over worriedly and said: \”You have to work hard to become more outgoing.\” The implication is: \”You look like this, everyone It\’s hard to like you.\” Although she was reluctant, she still chose to put down her book and blend into the noisy team. After experiencing such an incident, she began to doubt herself: \”Should I change myself and try to become extroverted?\” In order to make herself look \”normal\”, she gave up her dream of being a writer and chose the profession of lawyer. She also tried to attend various parties to force herself to socialize. But after many years of wandering around, she finally returned to writing and became a writer. And trying hard to become extroverted over the years was not only a mistake, but also a loss for her. Some people say that this is just an example and that introversion is ultimately bad. Is this true? Introversion and extroversion Psychologist Carl Jung first proposed the concepts of \”extroversion\” and \”introversion\”. During the holidays, I often hear parents say this about their children: \”I stay at home every day and don\’t know how to go out to play with my classmates. Look at who they are, they get together with this one and that one whenever they have free time. They are so cheerful and generous.\” . How can you make friends if you are stuck at home every day?\” In our minds, extroverted children who love to go out \”are well-fed, sociable, and promising,\” while introverted children who stay at home are likely to be \”ostracized, have no friends, and often Suffer a loss.\” However, according to Carl Jung\’s theory, a child\’s preference for \”solitude\” or \”fun\” is the cause, not the effect, of his character. Let’s just say I like to be quiet most of the time. Of course, I miss the time when a group of people are lively sometimes. (Carl Jung believed that there are no pure extroverts or pure introverts in the world. Generally, it is a matter of how much.) You can think of me as a remote control. When I run out of power, I need to pass stopRest or be alone to replenish energy from within myself. It\’s like installing a battery into a remote control and it charges itself. But if he is an extrovert, when he feels out of power, he urgently needs to get energy from friends and social interaction. It\’s like finding a charger for a remote control that draws power from an external source. Therefore, for introverts, socializing consumes energy, while for extroverts, it replenishes energy. On the contrary, solitude is recharging for introverts and depleting for extroverts. Whether a child loves \”liveliness\” or \”solitude\” is not the result of his personality choice, but the reason for the formation of his personality. Period of Character Formation When does a child’s character begin to form? In the documentary \”The Fantasy World of Beibi\”, scientists conducted a series of experiments to clarify this issue. They prepared some toys for 6-month-old babies, such as a box that pops out a clown when touched, a walking dog that suddenly somersaults, and a stranger wearing a mask. Through observation, scientists have discovered that babies already possess the three basic temperaments of adults: cautious, calm and active. This temperament displayed since childhood is the starting point of a child\’s character. In the process of raising children, we will unconsciously adapt to their personalities and provide the environment they need. And this kind of acquired interaction shaped their characters. A child\’s \”introversion\” and \”extroversion\” are just like a coin with two sides, there is no good or bad, it is his unique personality. Whether they are extroverts or introverts, it is their innate gift. Each has its own advantages. Introverted and extroverted children each have their own advantages. Needless to say, extroverted children are generally believed to be more promising when they grow up. Because they are good at handling interpersonal relationships, have cheerful and popular personalities, speak loudly and confidently, and are easily remembered by others. All the performances of extroverted children seem to point to one word – \”leadership.\” With personalities like theirs, it is easier for them to become decision-making and convincing leaders when they grow up. But in fact, research shows that among leaders, the proportions of introverts and extroverts are about the same. Professor Grant from the University of Pennsylvania discovered an interesting phenomenon through research: Introverted leadership can produce greater benefits than extroverted leadership. Why do you say that? Because he found that when introverted leaders get along with their subordinates, they tend to let them express themselves freely. Extroverted leaders will unconsciously convey their ideas, which to a certain extent will limit employees\’ creativity. The book \”The Highly Sensitive Introvert\” analyzes in detail the advantages of introverts: cautious, focused, analytical, perseverant, empathetic, etc. Many of the great people we know were introverts. For example, Darwin, if he was busy socializing and entertaining every day, he would not have thought about the theory of biological evolution in solitude; for example, Haruki Murakami, if he had not had a quiet personality, he would not have written so many world-renowned works. ; There is also Bill Gates, who prefers to stay in his room and study technology by himself than to interact with others; and for example, Buffett, if being alone is not good for himIt is a kind of loss for him, and he will not be immersed in work for several hours. It is precisely because of the power of introversion that they choose a life that suits them and achieve achievements that no one can match. Before putting the child in a suitable position, I saw a mother who, in order to force her son to become outgoing, stipulated that he must greet 10 strangers every day and forcibly pushed him into the crowd. We often ask introverted children to become cheerful and generous because of prejudice and misunderstanding. This approach may cause children to become \”fake extroverts\” and develop severe social anxiety. Faced with children\’s different personality traits, parents may wish to put aside their anxiety and put their children in an environment that suits them so that their talents can be maximized. If we are worried that an introverted child is not sociable, we can encourage him appropriately: \”How about we try it and communicate with everyone for a minute? Maybe you will be happy because you have made new friends.\” If the child is willing to try, then we Step by step, slowly increase the child\’s social time so that he can slowly accept such a process. If the child is really unwilling and prefers to stay alone, then we should not force it and just respect his wishes. In addition, don’t label your children as “ignorant” or “shy”. Sometimes children don\’t like to communicate with guests. For the sake of face, we will unconsciously belittle our children: \”Why are you so rude?\” Or explain to the guests: \”My child is just shy, don\’t be surprised.\” Such words will Deepen the child\’s misunderstanding of self: \”My personality is not good.\” This will cause the child to develop an inferiority complex. Whether a child is introverted or extroverted, the foundation for his temperament has been laid since infancy. Instead of trying to change him, we should follow his development rules, give him more tolerance and patience, and let him accumulate energy in his own way. Maybe we can also cultivate a great writer or the next Bill Gates. Do you know the importance of a person\’s independence? 21 tips to help your children learn to click \”like\” independently. Whether our children love to \”go out and play\” or \”stay at home\”, they all deserve to be respected, appreciated and treated with tenderness.