• Sat. Dec 2nd, 2023

How do high-level parents raise children?


Oct 1, 2023

There is a generally recognized formula in the education industry: \”An excellent child = 60% family education + 30% school education + 10% social education.\” It can be seen that parents are the starting line for children, and parents\’ words and deeds are the key to success. Give your children the best education. So, what can parents do to raise confident, warm, and well-characterized children? Li Mingxin, the principal of Beijing Primary School, gave his answer: 52 compulsory lessons for Chinese parents in the critical period of children\’s growth mp3 slow parenting, pastoral parenting and smooth parenting. Raising slowly means respecting the child\’s life patterns; pastoral care teaches children how to get along with the world; raising children smoothly allows children to go all out to pursue their passions. Only when all three are present, can children move toward a better self step by step with enthusiasm and awe. Raise slowly and give your child a good character. Principal Li Mingxin once wrote in an article: \”Raising slowly means respecting life in educating people, being patient, not blindly following, not eager for success, let alone quick success, and should let life follow its own laws little by little. Because the growth of life needs to be accumulated over time, and growth must not be \’catalyzed\’.\” This reminds me of a father in Taiwan. He has a successful career and has held important positions such as the manager of the American Hughes Aircraft Company and the vice president of Taiwan\’s cultural, educational and audio-visual programs. However, three of his four children are \”problem teenagers\”. Especially the second child, who was foul-mouthed at a young age, often got into fights, got into trouble, and even tried to set fire to the gas tank of his neighbor\’s car with a match. Unexpectedly, under the careful guidance of their father, these four children would actually become successful after many years. The eldest graduated from Yale University and became the general manager of the Carnegie Training Institute; the second got a doctorate from the University of California and became the associate dean of the University of Washington School of Medicine; the daughter returned from the University of California Law School; the youngest son graduated from the University of California School of Medicine. Master\’s degree from Stanford University, started his own company. The father\’s secret can be summed up in two words – slow parenting. When the second child was in junior high school, his grades were very poor and he even scored zero in the exam. But his father never got angry with him. Instead, he patiently asked his son what he thought about the future. The rebellious son said nonchalantly: \”If you get a good job, you will be a garbage truck driver.\” He also laughed at his father\’s ignorance and said that the salary of a garbage truck driver is higher than that of a teacher. Although he was very anxious, the father still touched the muscles on his son\’s arm and encouraged him: \”You can probably pass the test to be a garbage truck driver!\” Later, when he entered high school, the second son became obsessed with wrestling. The mother was worried that her son would be injured, but his father continued to support him, making him feel respected and gradually understanding his parents\’ painstaking efforts. From then on, he began to study hard, became a doctor of medicine in a prestigious school, and eventually became the vice president of the medical school. This father is the black young dragon known as the \”Father of Taiwan Carnegie\”. Education is a long process. Raising children is not about taming animals, it is about planting trees. The essence of education is to make children identify with the common goal of doing things through guidance, thereby generating internal driving force and actively and consciously doing things. If parents are more patient and calm, violent and rebellious children will become motivated, positive and sensible. Just like HeiyouLong wrote in the book \”Slow Raising\”: \”Educate children not to worry too much, not to be too anxious, not to seek temporary speed and efficiency, not to judge children based on their current performance, and to respect the differences of each child. Slow raising can help Children discover the best version of themselves.\” Every child has his or her own flowering period. As parents, all we can do is respect our children\’s growth trajectory. Do not force your children to live according to your own ideas, do not compare your children with others, and do not force your children to enter the fast lane. Children who are \”slowly raised\” in this way will become confident and optimistic, warm and firm. Pastoral care, let the child become a popular person. Someone once asked Zeng Shiqiang, a master of traditional Chinese culture, why some children are not welcome wherever they go. His answer is very heartbreaking: just let it go. When children are young, give them unlimited freedom and happiness, and release their nature to their fullest. I thought I was \”waiting for the flowers to bloom\”, but in fact, it was giving up and indulging. In fact, every child will use unreasonable methods to test their parents\’ bottom line as they grow up. As psychologist Jordan Peterson said: \”Children are like blind people looking for the wall. They need to keep moving forward and trying before they can discover where their boundaries are.\” Parents with foresight will never give up. No matter, just like an experienced shepherd doing herding: give your children plenty of love. But at the same time, we will not forget to use rules and punishments to establish a sense of boundaries for our children. The so-called \”pastoral care\” is to find a balance between love and rules. There is a story in the picture book \”I Will Always Love You\”: the protagonist Ali is a little bear. One day, he wanted to make breakfast for his mother, but accidentally broke his mother\’s beloved bowl. So, he carefully asked his mother: \”Mom, if I make feathers fly all over the pillow, will you still love me?\” His mother smiled and answered him: \”I will always love you, but you have to collect the feathers.\” Ali Then he asked: \”If I sprinkle painting paint on my sister, will you still love me?\” Mom said patiently: \”I will always love you, but you have to be responsible for bathing your sister.\” Ali thought for a while and continued Asked: \”Then if I forget to close the refrigerator door and my sister pulls everything out of the refrigerator, will you still love me?\” Mom still said the same thing: \”I will always love you, but we will have no snacks.\” \”The book \”Rules and Love\” writes: \”Growing up in love without rules, children lose awe; growing up in rules without love, children learn to feel inferior. Only in love and rules Only when children grow up can they learn humility and self-confidence.\” Pastoral care is to tell parents: loving children and establishing rules are never a single-choice question. On the contrary, the more you love your children, the more you must set rules for them. It can be as small as taking responsibility for making mistakes, or as big as abiding by the rules and regulations of the school and society, and adhering to inner morality. Ultimately, let the children learn how to get along with the world, how to interact with others, and become a well-educated and gentle person. Help children discover their inner potential. The \”barrel theory\” tells us that the water storage capacity of a barrel depends on the shortest board of the barrel. However, a \”new barrel theory\” has recently appeared on the Internet: if a barrel is tilted,So how much water it can ultimately hold will be determined by the longest board. In fact, the same is true for educating children. Instead of focusing on the child\’s shortcomings, force the child to fight against his own \”shortcomings\”. It is better to adapt to the children\’s interests and hobbies, teach students in accordance with their aptitude, and let the children develop their own \”strengths.\” Recently, Peking University’s “Wei Shen” has been on the hot search again. Although it was quickly proven to be fake news, Wei Dongyi\’s wisdom and height in the field of mathematics are still unquestionable. During high school, he won two gold medals in the International Mathematical Olympiad with perfect scores. After being recommended to Peking University, he participated in the Qiu Chengtong College Student Mathematics Competition and won four gold medals. From then on, his problem-solving method was called \”Wei\’s method\”, and he founded the \”Wei Dongyi Inequality\”; at the age of 28, he was already an assistant professor at Peking University. Having reached such a height, when a reporter asked him about his experience in learning mathematics, he just said lightly: \”Nothing, just interested, and it has something to do with the influence of his father.\” It turns out that Wei Dongyi\’s parents are both intellectuals. But they don\’t have high demands on their son. Until one day, his father brought back a \”Hua Luogeng School Mathematics Textbook\”, which suddenly made Wei Dongyi interested in mathematics. Seeing that their son has talents and interests, his parents have been silently supporting him and encouraging him to follow what he likes. In the end, his son became \”Wei Shen\” and ushered in his own cheating life. But unfortunately, not all parents have the wisdom and foresight to raise their children smoothly. I watched a program before, and there was a little girl in it who left a deep impression on me. She has loved writing since she was a child. She started writing novels in elementary school and has written 56 books with a total of more than 300,000 words. However, the girl\’s father believed that his daughter\’s math performance was delayed because of writing novels, and in a rage, he tore up the girl\’s years of hard work. Later, he encouraged his choking daughter: \”Others can learn (mathematics) well, so can you. Dad believes in you!\” Perhaps parents have thought about using control and violence to let their children follow the path they have planned. But in fact, instead of creating children who are mediocre in all aspects, what we should cultivate is children with love and unlimited potential. Hao Jingfang, who won the 74th Hugo Award, said: \”No matter how smart you are, it can\’t compare to true love. Because real life achievements will always belong to the ultimate intoxicator. Listening to a note is like the whole universe is contained in the note. ;Push a formula, and you will be willing to do it for decades; write a line of code, and the whole world will fall silent.\” Therefore, instead of forcing children to pick up their shortcomings. It is better to allow children to live the way they like. Discover his shining points and let him use his passion as fuel to move from ordinary to extraordinary step by step. Family education has always been an arduous and long process. There is no luck falling from the sky, and there are no surprises. Some are just the results of all the hard work and dedication. Only by raising slowly and stabilizing one\’s own mentality can the child become confident and high-spirited; by shepherding and keeping one\’s own bottom line, the child can learn to distinguish right from wrong and know how to advance and retreat; by raising well and not interfering in the child\’s decision-making, the child can be happier and happier.Much promise. Like it, I hope that in the days to come, we can all grasp these three keywords and create a warm and harmonious family atmosphere for our children. In the end, I will gain a child with love in his heart and light in his eyes.

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