• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

How terrible is it to cry about poverty with your children?

A few days ago, my son asked me in a low voice, \”Dad, is our family rich?\” A young child can be so sensitive. Maybe it’s because my wife and I usually discuss household expenses. The children were also listening. Fortunately, I have never cried poverty with my children. Because it\’s like spilled milk, there\’s no point crying. Smart parents understand that they need to work hard to change their own poverty, and they cannot drag their children into it and be swallowed up by poverty. Many parents will cry and complain to their children, hoping that their children will become thrifty and sensible and understand the difficulties at home. However, sensible children are really pitiful sometimes. It’s not that they don’t want it, but they don’t dare to ask for it and can’t ask for it. Because I am sensible, I am afraid of embarrassing my parents. What\’s more, for a child, the feeling of being wrapped up in poverty is almost despairing. Because they are so small, they cannot make money and cannot escape the shackles of poverty. I watched the Iranian movie \”Little Shoes\” a few days ago and was very moved. I read it with heart-wrenching heart, and was moved by the kindness and innocence in it. I was almost suffocated by the poverty inside. The story of the film is very simple, about two children and a pair of shoes. The little brother accidentally lost his sister\’s only pair of shoes. My father worked very hard and earned very little, my mother was seriously ill, and there was a little baby waiting to be fed. The rent is also delayed again and again, and I am almost living on the street. The family really doesn\’t have any money left to buy a pair of shoes. The brother and sister were afraid to tell their parents about the missing shoes, so they decided to take turns wearing their brother\’s old running shoes to school every day. In order to change their shoes in time, the brother and sister ran through the alleys of Iran. The film has 120,000 ratings on Douban, giving it a score of 9.1. The comment with the most likes was \”Don\’t have children if you don\’t have money.\” This is what touched many parents after reading it. Even though the two sensible children in the film have won dignity through their own efforts. But the younger sister who takes on housework too early is like an older brother. It hurts everywhere. What will this sense of poverty bring to children? The most direct one is inferiority complex. The younger sister in the video was wearing her older brother\’s worn-out sneakers to gym class. She lowered her head and did not dare to jump far, because then her shoes would be exposed. The classmates are all wearing colorful new shoes, but what about her? It\’s a pair of dirty and worn-out men\’s sneakers. (During physical education class, my sister hid behind because she was wearing ill-fitting shoes for fear of being discovered by the teacher.) She was a little nervous at that time. I think many people will feel the same way. She began to pay attention to her classmates\’ shoes. Stare at the feet on the ground, one by one. Inner inferiority and longing often make people helpless. How could she not care? But she couldn\’t escape. And I didn’t dare to tell my parents. It hurts to see. Sensible child, really pitiful. In the face of poverty, some people \”become stronger and stronger without falling into poverty\” while others are willing to degenerate and become bandits or money-worshipping slaves. The two are very different. All these are inseparable from the spiritual nourishment and influence of parents feeding their children in the early stages. In the face of poverty, some people are like weeds sprouting from the cracks in the rocks. Let people feel the ironclad and unyielding spirit. Mo Yan mentioned in an article recalling his mother: “My mother, who looked sad, was working so hard., humming a ditty in his mouth! At that time, in our large family with a large population, my mother was the one who worked the hardest and suffered the most hunger. It would be reasonable for her to cry while beating wild vegetables, but she is not crying but singing. My mother taught me that people should endure hardships and survive unyieldingly. \”No matter how hard it is at home, you can\’t let your children\’s hearts be covered with this layer of dust, but let their skies be bright and clear. I really like the black dad Chris in \”The Pursuit of Happiness\”. When his career was not going well and his life was in trouble, he never said a word of bitterness to his son. Instead, he taught his son: Don’t be discouraged and defend your dreams. When I saw him taking his son to spend the night in a public toilet in the subway, I told him that this was to escape. The dinosaur entered the cave – the bathroom of the subway station. On the cold floor covered with a few pieces of paper, the son fell asleep in his father\’s arms. When someone knocked on the door, Garner inside quietly pressed his feet against the door until The people outside walked away. At this time, the camera showed a close-up of Garner\’s face – a tear flowing down his dark cheek. Seeing this scene, I know many parents will cry. Because, our children have also Sleep in our arms in that posture. And we have also been tortured by life. But no matter how hard it is, we must smile and tell our son: everything will be fine, and life will get better through hard work. In \”Little Shoes\” \”The same is true. Dad took his son to the city to work as a gardener on weekends and earned his first money. He began to describe a beautiful life to his children. He did not complain about poverty to his children at all. No matter how difficult it is, he said that he must work hard, and his father would There is a way. And this is hope, the bright sunshine that shines into the world of children. Many parents tie their lives to their children, as if they live just for their children. Such children are even more miserable. While being held up by their parents\’ expectations , while being weighed down by parents\’ complaints. I often hear words like this: \”In order to sign you up for this training class, your father and I have basically emptied our wallets. We haven\’t gone shopping in several months. You still haven\’t got enough test scores.\” Come back, are you worthy of us? \”Our family depends on you, if you don\’t work hard.\” There is no point in living so hard. \”I regret giving birth to you. Without you, I wouldn\’t have such a hard life.\” \”Many times, you think you are just talking, but it may plant seeds in the child\’s sensitive heart, affecting him for life. It is completely different from letting the child cry about poverty, or letting the child feel the difficulty of life by himself. The former may make children have low self-esteem from the root, because the parents who gave birth to them are like this, and their lives are bleak. And when you feel it yourself, you will often have the energy of \”a child without an umbrella running hard\”, and finally change your own life through hard work. Life. There are many families who do not have money, but whose parents plan to use poverty to train their children. But if a child worries about money all day long and listens to his parents complaining that he cannot live without money, can he study wholeheartedly? The child asked, “Mom, other people’s families are so rich! \”A mother wrote like this: \”My son\’s school organized a small press trip.Tour and collecting activities. My son came back and said to me: Mom, other people’s families are so rich! Many students brought iPhone7 and iPad. I said calmly: Baby, you will have it too. He looked at me doubtfully, and I nodded firmly: \”I will definitely do it, as long as you work hard.\” He seemed to understand, nodded thoughtfully, and went to read extracurricular books. \”What a good answer. When children are concerned about financial problems at home, we should give them more affirmation and encouragement. There are too many things we need to teach in children\’s education. For example, children\’s financial intelligence, economic knowledge Some of the learning is an important part of education. When children talk about wealth or poverty, we have to tell them: \”No matter what happens in the world, your parents will protect you, let you go to school, and let you live a good life. Don\’t worry at all. Because mom and dad can make money, I believe you can make money by yourself when you grow up. As long as you work hard, you will definitely do it. \”We give our children the commitment and encouragement of love to ensure their inner peace. In this way, they will grow better. Smart parents never cry to their children about poverty. Instead, they work hard. Which parent does not have good wishes for their children? What about expectations? However, equivalent to these expectations is the responsibility of parents to educate their children.

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