• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

How to educate a child with a bad temper


Oct 1, 2023

Spending time with their children day and night, many parents are experiencing their children\’s various little tempers: \”My daughter is three years old, and her temper is getting worse and worse. She gets into trouble if something doesn\’t go her way.\” \”My son has a particularly bad temper. If something doesn\’t go his way, he\’ll get into trouble.\” Adults punch and kick, and even throw things when they get really anxious.\” \”When a child is unhappy, he gets angry and refuses to eat.\”… I believe everyone is familiar with this scene. The child\’s face changes like the weather in June. , The sky was clear one second, and it was stormy the next. In fact, there are reasons why children lose their temper. Only by understanding the reasons behind it can we deal with a child who loses his temper intelligently. Why do children lose their temper? There are often hidden thoughts and demands behind children\’s tantrums. Parents cannot see this, so they violently prevent them from expressing their anger. Generally speaking, there are five main reasons why children lose their temper: first, physical discomfort; second, seeking attention; third, needs not being seen and not understood by parents; fourth, not learning effective language communication; third, 5. Frustration due to inability to accomplish some goals. It is not difficult to find that children lose their temper because various needs are not met. A mother once complained about her child\’s bad temper and gave this example. Her child was four years old. He especially liked to listen to his mother read picture books and stories, but he always asked to read the same story. One day she changed a book to read to her child, but the child was so angry that he snatched the book and threw it on the ground. The mother feels that the child has too much temper. Must-read parenting books for parents recommended: Don’t Think You Understand Your Child’s Heart e-book download. The fact is that children before the age of 6 already like to read repeatedly. This is a characteristic of young children’s reading, because in this way, children have a sense of control during the reading process. If the mother cannot see this need, she will feel that the child is stubborn and unreasonable. A child\’s tantrum, although seemingly unreasonable, is a signal for help. They cannot express themselves like adults and can only attract their attention in this way. Writer Rebus once said: \”When a child loses his temper at you, he wants you to get into his heart and help him solve the problem.\” If parents cannot see their children\’s feelings, the children will not be able to hear any reason, so children\’s tempers are the most When it\’s bad, it\’s often when you need your understanding the most. When a child loses his temper, there is a widely circulated saying that is wrong to do: \”People save their worst tempers for the people closest to them.\” This sentence can be understood conversely. If your child always likes to lose his temper with you, It\’s just a sign of his trust in you. From this perspective, losing your temper is a form of trust and dependence. However, when faced with their children’s tempers, most parents are too anxious. This anxiety manifests itself in three aspects: anxious to get their children to stop messing around and choosing to accommodate and compromise; anxious to make their children obey and control anger with anger; and telling their children This little thing is not worth crying about and making the child feel humiliated. When a child throws a tantrum, many adults focus on stopping the child, only to make matters worse. Child psychologist Dr. Deborah McNamara once said: \”Let the child finish the tantrum, rather than trying to prevent the child from having a tantrum. The tantrum itself is harmless, stopping the tantrum is.\” Totally a bad thing, onlyIt is a way of expressing emotions. What parents need to do is understand and accept, rather than blame and prohibit. You know, we are not trying to raise a child who won’t lose his temper, that’s not human nature. The key is to help children deal with various negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and loss, how to resolve them, and how to adjust them so as not to lose control. What can parents do when their children lose their temper? Writer Zhou Guiyi said: \”When a child behaves naughty or anxious, there must be a reason behind it that he cannot express clearly – this is not the parents\’ problem, but how to deal with it properly is the problem that parents have to face.\” In In my opinion, there is no better way to deal with a child\’s tantrum than the word \”patience.\” When our children have problems, the most rare thing is the patience of parents, especially when the children lose their temper and cry, but refuse to listen to the good words and advice, and may end up scolding the children or directly starting a fight. A mother once shared on Weibo how to deal with her child\’s tantrums. She could feel the love and patience through the screen: \”Let him deflate. It\’s like a pressure cooker. When it gets angry, it has to be drained before the pot can be turned on.\” Let’s go.” Behind this patience lies understanding and trust in the children. The premise of helping to learn emotional management is that parents must adjust their emotions well. If a child loses his temper, and your temper is bigger than the child\’s, can you still expect the child to be calm? When facing a child with a \”bad temper\”, only your recognition, acceptance, and understanding can help him solve the problem. All you can do is be patient, and be patient again. Communication after a tantrum is very important. After giving enough patience, the last and most critical step is to communicate with the child and review the entire incident. For example, if a child wants to play with his mobile phone and the adult doesn\’t agree, he will lose his temper and throw things. Then when the child calms down, you need to talk back to the child about the matter, instead of letting the matter pass after crying or making trouble. There are two key points in talking about it: First, tell your child why you rejected his request. For example, the family has set a rule that you can only play for half an hour at most a day. Now that it has been set, you can\’t cheat. Second, tell your children to speak up if you have anything to say, and speak out calmly if you want anything. If you have special requests, discuss them with your parents, but don’t throw things away, otherwise your parents will have no way of knowing how you feel. During the discussion, discuss the matter as it is and do not blame the child. Use this method to let your children understand: Mom and Dad understand all your emotions, but inappropriate behavior must be regulated, and excessive emotional expression is not advisable. Click \”Like\”. Only in this way can losing your temper become an opportunity to educate your children.

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