There is a child who is unwilling to leave the house, does not like sports, and spends all day reading or playing games; he only talks about things other than studying, and cannot talk about studying, otherwise he will be irritable; he is disobedient to discipline, speaks sarcastically, and is unwilling to communicate more with his family. He becomes very impatient if he speaks more than a few words; he loves to save face and dress up, and he will never speak out against others in front of his classmates for fear of being laughed at; he likes to share happy and unhappy things with good friends, and when adults ask, he will say you don’t understand. ;…Does it feel like déjà vu? This child\’s name is Puberty. Baijia Lecture Forum Qian Wenzhong\’s complete interpretation of the Three Character Classic video + MP3 Every child who has reached adolescence has a more or less rebellious and disobedient personality. This is also a headache for many parents: no matter what, he is still a child after all. It\’s easy to cause conflicts. Affected by hormones, adolescent children have greater emotional ups and downs and are the age group most prone to problems. They are no longer like when they were children, when you hit and scolded him, he would only cry. Now his legs are stiff and he can run away from home or even die if he disagrees. At this most critical moment, it is not only the temper of the parents that is tested, but also the wisdom of parenting! If you use the right strength, you will get twice the result with half the effort. If something goes wrong, you will only regret it! Li Meijin once said in a lecture on adolescence that when children enter adolescence, parents should do these 8 things to prevent their children from taking detours. It is recommended that parents think about it while reading it, correct it if there is any problem, and encourage them if they don’t. These eight things parents must do 1. Change your education model. When you reach adolescence, it’s time to let go. You can\’t always be like an old mother and hang around your children. You have to tell your children that you are grown up now and you can arrange your own affairs by yourself. If you need help, just ask. As long as you don\’t make a big mistake, let your child do whatever you want, but you should secretly keep an eye on your child\’s behavior so that you can better understand your child\’s current situation. 2. Treat children with respect as colleagues. Parents who want to understand their children\’s psychology can\’t help but peek into their children\’s privacy. This is exactly a big mistake: disrespecting their children. Just imagine, if your child was your colleague, how would you treat him? Respect means understanding and accepting children\’s psychological needs for autonomy and independence, listening to children\’s ideas, explaining one\’s own ideas, and not being arbitrary and negotiating more. 3. To allow him to participate in family events, the most essential thing for children to enter the society in the future is hands-on ability, which is what we call execution ability. Letting children participate in family events can, on the one hand, make them feel needed and that their status in the family is still important, and on the other hand, it can encourage children to think more, use their brains more, and use their hands more. 4. Discover problems with your own education methods from children’s attitudes. As the saying goes, the authorities are confused. You may not be aware of whether there is a problem with your education method, but your child\’s attitude is the best feedback. For example, if your child yells at you, you must have yelled at him before. The purpose of reflection is to improve and make yourself more effective in educating your children in the future. 5. Pay attention to children’s best friends and family background. Adolescent children pay more attention to peer relationships, and peers have a greater impact on them than their parents to some extent. If you make bad friends, your children can easily be led astray. 6. Pay attention to your child’s interests and connect with him as much as possibleShared interests increase intimacy. Finding your child’s interests is also about finding his future career direction. 7. Give children trust and reduce unnecessary nagging. Nagging often means distrusting and blaming children, passing anxiety and pressure to children, making children feel controlled. You must be careful not to nag. Your nagging will only make him farther and farther away from you. If you want to say something, one or two sentences are enough. 8. Show pride in his kindness, success, and responsibility. When we praise our children, we should not just judge them by how well they study. The children\’s sensibleness, kindness, sense of responsibility, simplicity, courage to admit mistakes, etc. are all worthy of recognition. Don’t compare yourself with other people’s children. Reasonable family education, an equal family atmosphere, and a harmonious parent-child relationship are important guarantees for children to go through adolescence healthily. Communication Skills with Adolescent Children There is a saying: You have feelings, but I have no intentions. When you are full of joy and want to have a good chat with your child, the child may stop talking to you if you disagree. Communicating with adolescent children requires some skills. 1. Use descriptive language more. Descriptive language means describing the facts themselves without bringing in our personal emotions. For example, a child hides in the bedroom and plays games. It is dark and the lights are not turned on. Descriptive language: It’s so dark, your eyes are tired from playing games. Put down your phone first and come over and help me, okay? Critical language: If you know how to play every day, what’s the point? It would be strange if you are not blind! 2. Admit that he is right, and add the suggestion that children crave recognition, which is why they are more willing to share their ideas with their peers. Don\’t easily deny your children\’s ideas and methods of doing things. If they are unreasonable, we can first affirm that \”having ideas is a good thing\” but \”give your own suggestions.\” Only by looking for the child\’s approval can you have further opportunities to influence the child. 3. Talk to your children more about \”useless words\”. Think back, when you chat with your children, do you always keep studying in three sentences? Adolescent children are under a lot of pressure to study, and they will reject you and not even want to listen to what you say. You often talk to your child about useless things, such as gossip, clothes, basketball, friends of the opposite sex… As time goes by, he will naturally classify you as a friend and be willing to talk to you about anything. 4. Apologize when you are wrong. Sometimes when you realize that it is your fault, don’t hide it. Take the initiative to apologize to your children, let go of the parent’s face, and win back the children’s heart. Regardless of the stage, authoritarian discipline will not have the expected effect. Instead, it will cause strong resistance in children, not to mention a very rebellious adolescence? When you were young, you might as well think back. How did you most want your parents to treat your rebellious self? Welcome to share your story!