• Sat. Dec 2nd, 2023

How to establish a good parent-child relationship in the family


Oct 1, 2023

A bad parent-child relationship is a disaster in a child\’s life. In the parent-child program \”Where Are We Going, Dad 6\”, Yang Shuo was once criticized by netizens because he was not only too harsh on his son Yang Yuchen, but also had no patience at all, scolding and reprimanding him at every turn. Yang Shuo\’s attitude and behavior made his son always have a sad face, tense body, and shrinking back when he was with him. Mentally, he was always in a state of being faced with a powerful enemy. He had to look first before doing anything. Look at dad\’s face. It is conceivable that the parent-child relationship between Yang Shuo and his son Yang Yuchen is already extremely bad to some extent. So what is the reason why the parent-child relationship between Yang Shuo and his son is so tense? In a later one-on-one interview, Yang Shuo talked about his views on his father. He said that he had been beaten by his father since he was a child, and his relationship with his father was that they were extremely jealous when they met. \”Exceptionally jealous\”, Yang Shuo used these four words to evaluate the relationship with his father, which shows that the parent-child relationship between them is tense and irreconcilable. And due to filming, Yang Shuo spends many years away from home, so the days that Yang Shuo spends with her son are few and far between. Yang Shuo rarely spends time and energy, and lacks wholehearted presence with his son. Naturally, when getting along with the child, he has no emotional awareness of the child. The disharmony in the parent-child relationship is understandable. Mr. Takako Shinagawa of Japan said: \”The relationship between children and their parents is the key to the transformation of the child\’s life. It is also the basis for them to enter society in the future and basically interact with others. If you care about your children, don\’t forget to value the relationship between you and your children.\” Yes, parents must value their relationships with their children. A good parent-child relationship is the source of strength for a child\’s life. How to establish a good parent-child relationship? In the book \”I Wish My Parents Read This Book\” written by British psychotherapist Philippa Perry, three important steps are mentioned, namely, breaking the vicious cycle of parent-child relationship and establishing true connection and repair with the child. Cracks in the parent-child relationship. The first step is to break the vicious cycle of parent-child relationships. Think about it, how many times have we told ourselves in our hearts not to be angry with our children anymore; how many times have we felt deep self-blame and regret after yelling and scolding our children. We always blame ourselves and regret while continuing to do things that hurt our children. We seem to be trapped in a vicious circle of parent-child relationships, and we can\’t find a way out. We may also unintentionally discover that we treat our own children the same way our parents treated us when we were young. It is difficult for us to escape the influence our parents had on us, and this unknowingly carries over to our children. This is the case with Yang Shuo. He uses the way his father treats him on his own children. Only by breaking this vicious cycle between parents and children, stepping out of the unconscious state, and beginning to be aware of ourselves can we be able to establish a new, harmonious, and happy parent-child relationship. The second step is to establish a true connection with the child. In the book \”Intrinsic Motivation\”, connection is regarded as one of the most basic psychological needs of everyone. It is the bond between people and is the key to being seen, needed and The sense of belonging and presence of being loved. I love my children, so I let them go to the most expensive schools and wear the most expensive clothes and shoes; I buy them goodWatching dolls, interesting toys, whatever the child wants, will satisfy the child. This is not the true connection between parents and children. To truly establish a connection with children is to pay attention to the child\’s spiritual level and inner needs, not to ignore the child\’s inner feelings, to feel the child\’s feelings, to respond to the child\’s feelings in a timely manner, and to \”share the joys and sorrows\” with the child. I believe everyone knows about the celebrity Sun Li. Not only is she a dedicated and dedicated actor with the support of millions of fans, she is also a mother who is deeply loved by her children. In a Weibo post posted some time ago, Sun Li discovered that her son was depressed and she didn\’t know how to solve it, so she invited psychological counselor Jin Yunrong to help. After teacher Jin Yunrong chatted with the children and parents, she quickly came out of her low mood. Not only did she smile more, hug more, communicate more, and her appetite was better. Sun Li is really a careful, loving and studious mother, and everything she does is to establish a deep connection with her children. This connection is the true connection between parents and children, the need of the heart and the nourishment of love. The third step is to repair the cracks in the parent-child relationship. Only when a true connection is established with the child can it be possible to slowly repair the cracks in the parent-child relationship. As the saying goes, words are worse than words. If you want to repair the parent-child relationship that is already full of cracks, you must first start with the parents themselves, starting with their words, deeds, actions and awareness. Secondly, don’t judge easily. Don’t judge easily, neither yourself nor your children. There is a classic line in the Korean drama \”Reply 1988\”. Dads are not born as dads. It is also the first time for dads to be dads, and dads also make mistakes. In fact, it is not terrible to make mistakes. There is no need to label yourself a \”bad parent\”. Neither good nor bad should be an attribute of a parent. What parents really need to do is neither judge themselves nor their children, but appreciate their children\’s efforts, describe what they see and feel, and actively encourage their children. For example, if the words in the child\’s homework are messy, there are a lot of typos, and the structure of the words is unclear, but there is a word \”天\” that is particularly well written. At this time, you only need to say: \”I like how you wrote the sky so neatly and beautifully.\” When parents do this, they will see another perfect word written by their child the next time. Therefore, do not judge children casually and easily, but should see and accept some of the children\’s shortcomings from a positive perspective, and find ways to stimulate the child\’s inner motivation to change. A good parent-child relationship can make parents better. There is a saying in \”I really wish my parents had read this book\”: \”How we view ourselves and how much responsibility we take for our children\’s reactions are the key to parent-child education.\” In other words, the key to the quality of the parent-child relationship between parents and their children lies in whether the parents have inner strength, whether they can truly see and satisfy their children\’s inner needs, and give their children unconditional love and trust. For the sake of the children, and for the parents themselves, it is important for parents to pay attention to the parent-child relationship and establish a good parent-child relationship with their children. It is a must-do homework and a necessary skill for parents. Children are never a problem to be dealt withTrouble is not a project that requires excellence. Children are individuals who need to be understood and supported. Investing in your children will not only make them better people in the future, but it will also make the parents themselves better.

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