• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

How to keep children healthy and happy


Oct 1, 2023

I saw a piece of breathtaking news: There is a girl in the third grade of junior high school in Hangzhou who suffers from depression and has suicidal tendencies. She needs to take antidepressants regularly. But her mother not only stopped her medication without authorization, but also ignored the doctor\’s advice and replaced the medication with vitamin tablets. Popular science from doctors: The consequences of stopping medication for depression without authorization are unimaginable. If the patient\’s condition is unstable and the medication is stopped rashly, the condition may be worse than before taking the medication! In fact, as early as when she was in primary school, the girl already had signs of depression. Recommended by CCTV: Over 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries are recommended. Children will become addicted to self-discipline after watching this. Due to the inability to adapt to school, the girl\’s grades plummeted. She once expressed to her parents that she \”didn\’t want to go to school and wanted to see a doctor\”, but her mother felt that her daughter was \”making a fuss out of a molehill\” and \”too much.\” There is another detail in this news: the girl’s parents both graduated from top universities in the country. But even with good higher education, parents’ understanding of depression is still so one-sided. Some people say that the most painful thing in the world is not that I don\’t love you. It\’s that parents clearly love their children dearly, but turn a deaf ear to or even distort their understanding when their children send out signals for help. Depression is definitely not a bad mood, it can be solved by thinking more broadly and taking some time to relax. It\’s not just \”pretentious\” or \”pretentious\”. It can be cured by taking vitamin tablets. A father on Zhihu once told the whole process of his son committing suicide after suffering from depression. My son has been attending prestigious schools since he was a child, and his classmates were all excellent. He was under a lot of pressure, and after entering high school, he often broke down and cried at home. The father did not realize that this was a signal from the child, but instead advised him: \”Just cry out. Besides, how can you not be tired of studying?\” Later, his son began to self-mutilate. When the father saw his scarred arms, although he took the child to I took a psychological test, but subconsciously I still felt that \”it\’s not a big problem.\” Until one day, my son sent a text message to his father: I really can’t get out. His father texted him back, but no one responded. Finally, the father found his son\’s body on the first floor. But regret, heartache, regret… can\’t save anything. The son\’s life came to an abrupt end, and the father who lost his son in middle age will have no peace for the rest of his life. How many parents are like this father, who think that depression is not a serious illness, and that their children just have trouble sleeping, are tired, and have poor appetite… I also suffered from this when I was a child. But these are all signs that the body is sick. If parents do not pay attention to the distress signals sent by their children, the result is often lifelong regret. The \”2022 National Depression Blue Book\” shows that among the 95 million patients with depression, adolescents under the age of 18 account for more than 30%, and more than 28.5 million children are suffering from depression. In the past three years, the number of patients with depression under the age of 15 has more than tripled. Behind the shocking figures is the appalling \”no discovery at all.\” Tan Zhonglin, director of the psychiatry department of Hangzhou Seventh People\’s Hospital, said: Half of the patients in the outpatient clinic are teenagers. Whenever he asks patients when their emotional problems began, the patients usually push back many years. But their parents said: \”(At that time) the children\’s study and life seemed to be normal, and no problems were found.\” A girl has suffered from depression for many years, but her motherI thought \”it was just adolescent rebellion at the time.\” The hiddenness is the really scary thing about depression. The child is obviously sick, but the parents do not realize the seriousness of the problem at all. I have a friend who is a primary school teacher. She said: \”Basically every class has children suffering from emotional problems, and the depression detection rate exceeds 10%.\” But when she asked parents to pay more attention to their children\’s psychological problems, or take care of their children, When they went to the hospital for a system check-up, the parents felt that the teacher was \”looking for trouble\” and \”hypocritical.\” People with a cold will have fever, cough, and runny nose, and need to see a doctor in time. Children suffering from depression should receive formal treatment. Although psychological pain is invisible, it is more harmful than physical pain. It reminds me of the girl Xiao Li in \”Young Voices\”. She stayed home from school due to depression. After taking medication for half a year, she was forced to go to school by her parents. The next day after going to school, she climbed up the window sill and tried to commit suicide. When asked, \”Don\’t you have some greed for this world?\” She blurted out, \”No.\” In addition to studying, everything else is labeled as \”not doing a proper job\” by parents. Since the second grade, she has been told: \”You have to study more outside of class, otherwise you won\’t be able to get into a good junior high school; if you don\’t get into a good junior high school, you won\’t get into a good high school; if you don\’t get into a good high school, you won\’t get into it.\” A good university; if you can\’t get into a good university, you won\’t be able to find a good job, and your life will be over…\” She didn\’t dare to slack off throughout the elementary school years, and worked hard to keep herself in the top few. After entering junior high school, there were more outstanding classmates, and the pressure of competition made her feel even more in danger. In order not to be left behind by her classmates, she studied 24 hours a day except for eating and sleeping. She often stayed up late studying until two or three o\’clock and slept no more than 4 hours. Due to long-term lack of sleep, her concentration gradually began to decline, and her grades began to decline, which made her more anxious and stayed up later at night, creating a vicious cycle. During the days when she was home from school, she dreamed that students with poor grades were thrown into a pile of corpses, and she was almost thrown into it. She had planned to write a diary one week before her death, blaming all the blame on her parents. She felt from the bottom of her heart: \”If I die, they will all be responsible. Each of them has forced me.\” Wu Zhihong said that the pressure was too great , will crush people. Those children who suffer from depression are just tired and sick and can no longer fight. But many parents don\’t understand such a simple truth. There is a mother in the documentary \”Starting Line\” who arranges her child\’s life very full every day and enrolls her daughter in more than a dozen interest classes, including ukulele, vocal music, dance, Spanish, thinking… Her daughter has been attending classes since 7 a.m. By 5 p.m., I was running around in cram school every day, even taking lunch time to the minute, and there was no time to relax at all. Whenever her daughter develops resistance, her mother would say, \”If you want to learn this, we can\’t lose at the starting line.\” The \”starting line\” in the eyes of parents has become the starting point for children\’s anxiety. The child had to tighten his nerves and was coerced to fight for his life. Once upon a time, I was also the mother of a chicken baby, and I enrolled my daughter in various training classes. My daughter’s math scores have always been poor, so I enrolled in two math classes. My family also bought Huanggang papers, 53 papers, and various famous teacher papers. When I was in elementary school, I had little homework and there were often children playing in the yard. My daughter didn’t want toMake papers. I scolded her: \”You don\’t know how important mathematics is! Mathematics is the most important part of the exam. If you don\’t study the questions, you will suffer a big loss in the future…\” My advice did not lead to an improvement in my daughter\’s grades. There was even a time when my daughter barely passed math, so I gave her a harsh lesson. Unexpectedly, my daughter suddenly suffered from abdominal pain, vomiting and diarrhea. After being sent to the hospital, she was diagnosed with \”hyperthyroid crisis.\” After a detailed examination, the doctor believed that the child was mentally stimulated and emotionally unstable, and advised me not to put too much pressure on the child. Looking at my daughter sleeping in the hospital bed, with flushed skin and pale lips, my heart clenched. Thinking back to when my daughter was just born, I also thought: As long as the child grows up safely and healthily, I want nothing else. But unknowingly, he was influenced by the people around him and joined the \”Chicken Babies\” army. Thinking back carefully, I didn’t get good grades when I was a child, so what reason did I have to force my daughter to become a leader? At that moment, I suddenly woke up. Instead of having a chicken baby \”chicken\” that makes the chickens and dogs at home uneasy, it is better to bow your head and accept your fate and give her a healthy body and mind. After all, what could be more important than a child growing up healthy and living well? Thinking of Peking University professor Ding Yanqing, he and his wife both graduated from Peking University, but even from such a high-minded family, they gave birth to a daughter who often came last in exams. When asked, \”Can you accept the mediocrity of your child?\” He laughed and laughed at himself: \”You have to accept it. What will happen if you don\’t accept it? She is like this.\” Professor Ding felt that his daughter was not destined to go to Peking University, and he did not want to waste time on \” Enter \”Chicken Baby\”. Just like what Liang Xiaosheng said in \”The Human World\”: If the child is an ordinary person, then accept it; if it is outstanding, then let it fly high; accept the child\’s mediocrity, just like the child has never asked his parents to do anything. How excellent. After experiencing my daughter\’s tribulation, I really understood the true meaning of this sentence. Zhou Guoping, a master of Chinese traditional culture, said: Recommended scientific parenting books. I really hope my parents have read this book and download the electronic version. \”Everything extraordinary in the world will eventually return to ordinary, and its value will be measured by ordinary life. Great, wonderful, successful.\” It doesn\’t matter. Only when you truly live an ordinary life well can your life be complete.\” The standard of success is not necessarily how good a child you raise. But even if children are not good enough, they still have the ability to live a happy life. When a hero passes by, someone always claps on the side of the road. If a child can become a healthy and happy ordinary person, it is another kind of perfection. Accepting the mediocrity of children is a lifelong practice for parents. By clicking \”Watching\”, I hope we can put aside our anxiety and internal friction and let our children live a passionate life.

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