• Sat. Dec 9th, 2023

Hu Ke once again broke the news about the importance of education: Parents who take the initiative to apologize are the luck of their children\’s life

How many children have been wronged by parents who are unwilling to apologize? A while ago, in the variety show \”Youth Talk\”, a girl came on stage to accuse her father, which resonated with many people. The girl has a sister who is 6 years younger than her. Once the two sisters have a conflict, her father will directly reprimand her without asking the reason. She felt very wronged. Sometimes it was clearly her sister\’s fault, but her father never punished her. The girl got so excited that she even started crying. But the father in the audience was unmoved. He smiled awkwardly, but refused to admit that he had done something wrong: \”You are older and your sister is younger. Shouldn\’t you let your sister go?\” ▲ \”Youth Talk\” The children who were watching the program were chattering and felt that this educational concept was wrong. Even the host Chen Ming came on stage to persuade the father. But in the end, the father just hugged his daughter, hesitated, and did not apologize. Some netizens commented: \”I feel like I saw my dad never apologize.\” Another netizen said: \”Why is it so difficult for parents to say \’I\’m sorry\’?\” This reminds me of what happened when I returned to my hometown in the countryside during the Spring Festival. A little thing, one day, several of our relatives were sitting around chatting and drinking tea. My uncle\’s son was also eating snacks. As he was eating, he found that an orange in the fruit plate was rotten, so he ran to the yard and threw the orange away. Into the trash can. As a result, his uncle happened to see him, and he scolded the child indiscriminately, saying that the child was wasting food. When the child was about to reason, the uncle slapped him. When relatives heard the uncle beating and scolding the children, they quickly came out to stop him and explain the truth. But after hearing this, the uncle just said \”Oh\” and walked away in embarrassment. Even though the child covered his face and hid in the corner crying, he did not apologize. American educator Mrs. Stena once said: \”A parent who has the courage to admit mistakes and explore new starting points for conversation is far more lovable than a stubborn and overbearing parent.\” Unfortunately, many parents obviously do not have \” Parents should apologize to their children.\” But in fact, if you do something wrong, no matter whether you are an adult or not, or whether the other person is a child, you should apologize. Most parents always find it difficult to apologize to their children for reasons of face or fear of undermining their authority. Without an apology, children will lose warmth in their hearts. Some time ago, Chen Xuedong\’s severing of relations with his father was a hot topic. Chen Xuedong was born in Wenzhou. His father was in business and was very wealthy. Originally, life was worry-free, but when Chen Xuedong was 7 years old, his parents divorced. Chen Xuedong can only see his mother once a year. Soon, Chen Xuedong\’s father planned to remarry, but Chen Xuedong firmly opposed it. His father said nothing on the surface, but secretly married his stepmother without telling him. After his father remarried, he paid little attention to Chen Xuedong. The young Chen Xuedong has been staying at an aunt\’s house. Only Chen Xuedong\’s aunt will give him living expenses every month. But my aunt has been working in a factory and her life is not rich. So Chen Xuedong often went to school hungry. Chen Xuedong\’s heart was deeply hurt by his father\’s neglect, but he always hoped that his father could apologize to him and explain his difficulties one day in the future. But until his resentment towards his father turned into hatred, he could not wait for his father\’s apology. WorkSince then, Chen Xuedong has moved more than a dozen times, but every place makes him feel cold and insecure. When recording Qi Pa Shuo, mentioning the father-son relationship, Chen Xuedong shouted to his father from a distance: \”You haven\’t cared about me since I was a child, so why do you care about me now?\” ▲Chen Xuedong talked about his father watching in \”Qi Pa Shuo\” It seems heartless, but it is full of deep disappointment and anger towards his father. It is precisely because of the resentment in his heart that Chen Xuedong always feels insecure. Children who have not established a good intimate relationship with their parents will face complex social relationships in the future and will find it difficult to establish intimate relationships with others. Home is a person\’s warmest haven. If parents do not have the word \”apology\” in their educational concepts, they will make their children feel resentful again and again, and the children will lose the source of warmth in their hearts. There is a discussion group on Douban called \”Parents are a disaster\”. There is a classic saying: Parents are waiting for their children to say thank you, while children are waiting for their parents to say sorry. It is always difficult for parents and children to get close to each other. It is the regret of parents and the pain of children. The energy of \”I\’m sorry\” is far beyond your imagination. Hu Ke is recognized as a good mother in the entertainment industry. She once shared her parenting tips, one of which is: have the courage to admit your mistakes to your children. Once, Hu Ke and Anji made an agreement that his mother would pick him up from school. But that day, she took Xiaoyuer for a physical examination and the items were complicated, which resulted in the timeout. Anji waited alone at school for a long time. When all her classmates were picked up by their parents, she couldn\’t help crying. When Hu Ke arrived, the angry Anji couldn\’t help but turn his back: \”I don\’t want to wait for you anymore, when will you come?\” Hu Ke trotted over quickly, half-crouched next to Anji, wiping his tears and apologizing. : \”Some items in Xiao Yuer\’s physical examination were too slow, which wasted time. I\’m sorry, Anji.\” Hearing the sincere apology from her mother, the heart-warming Anji immediately forgave her mother. Hu Ke\’s apology taught Anji a very important lesson, which is responsibility and respect for others. Once, the program team asked the brothers to go up the mountain to pick kiwi fruits. Anji misunderstood that her brother had taken the kiwi fruit from her basket, and she was so angry that she wanted to hit her brother. Later, when he learned that he had misunderstood, Anji quickly apologized to his brother. This scene is very similar to Hu Ke\’s apology to An Ji. ▲Angie is feeding her younger brother Xiaoyuer. American psychologist Rhoda Dunne said: \”When parents make a mistake or break a promise they made, if they can say sorry to their children, it can help them build self-esteem and at the same time It can cultivate children\’s habit of respecting others.\” Psychologists also point out that parents taking the initiative to apologize to their children will make them more responsible. It will be easier to become independent and empathetic in the future. Educator Spencer once said: \”A wronged child rarely reflects on his faults because anger and injustice occupy his heart; while a child who is touched often reflects on it because being moved increases his inner courage. and wisdom.\” Therefore, don\’t be stingy about saying \”I\’m sorry\” to your children. A \”I\’m sorry\” from parents can not only express their apology, but also touch their children and make them more responsible and empathetic. If you are not afraid of your parents doing something wrong, you are afraid that your parents will not admit their mistakes. People are not perfect, and parents will make mistakes too. But as long asIf you remedy it promptly and apologize to your child, the harm caused to your child will be reversible. When parents do something wrong, they choose to apologize to their children. In fact, you are saying to your children: \”We respect you, so we are equal.\” In fact, it is not terrible for parents to do something wrong. The key is what you do next. Specifically, it can be carried out in three steps: empathize with the child; apologize to the child sincerely; explain the reasons and how to remedy the situation. The mother-in-law once shared a story: her daughter scored double hundred in the exam, and she promised to take her to the amusement park on Saturday to celebrate. As a result, she had other things to do that day and she was so busy that she forgot about it. During this period, my daughter kept wandering around and making noises. When I got angry, I yelled at my daughter to stop making noises. As a result, my daughter pursed her lips and burst into tears, shouting, \”Bad mother! I don\’t want you anymore! You promised me to go to the amusement park, but you lied to me! Big liar mother!\” The daughter cried so hard that she couldn\’t catch her breath. I\’m sorry, no matter how much I try to coax him, I can\’t coax him. She recalled a parenting book she read recently that said: When a child is noisy, crying, or emotional, you might as well try to empathize with the child and understand her feelings. So Yunyun knelt down so that her eyes were level with the child: \”My dear, I know you are sad that you can\’t go to the amusement park today.\” Thinking that it was indeed her fault, Yunyun apologized to her daughter: \”I\’m sorry, mom. \”Xiao Guai, I didn\’t do what I promised you.\” \”There were too many things to do today. Mom was busy and forgot about it. I didn\’t mean it. How about we change it to tomorrow and go to the amusement park together?\” If Xiaoguai agrees, just hook up with mom, okay?\” Sure enough, the daughter gradually stopped crying, and finally made a promise with her mom for next time. Parents who are willing to apologize are not a sign of incompetence. On the contrary, parents who are willing to apologize are mature and wise. Parents who are willing to apologize to their children can raise children who actively reflect and grow. Similarly, parents who are willing to apologize are also leaders in self-education. They are growth-oriented parents who do not stay where they are, but progress along with their children. Hellinger once said: \”You don\’t know how loyal our children are to their families and how unconditionally they love their parents.\” Don\’t be afraid to apologize. As long as you are honest about your mistakes, your children will soon forgive you. Next time, when parents are hesitating between saving face and apologizing, they might as well choose to bend down and say sincerely to their children: \”I\’m sorry.\”

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