• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

If dads do this, their children will be better (a must-read for parents)

On June 8, Tian Liang announced on Weibo: \”(Sendie) came to participate in the world competition for the first time, and won bronze medals in javelin and running.\” At that time, I had a feeling: wow, she is worthy of being the daughter of an Olympic champion. I still remember that in the program \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, dad Tian Liang couldn\’t adapt to the rhythm of raising a baby for a while, and often seemed at a loss when faced with the crying Sen Die. But after a few months of filming the show, the relationship between father and daughter has undergone earth-shaking changes. Tian Liang is not the best dad, but he is the dad who has made the fastest progress. Although there were a lot of embarrassing things at the beginning, such as messy pigtails, wearing long johns outside, etc., he was willing to change and understand the correct way to communicate with his daughter. When recalling this experience, he said: \”Children are also teachers of their parents. They will inadvertently convey their preferences, and parents must accept and understand them. As a father, I am not very good at expressing my affirmation to my children. More often, he found out her problems and even criticized her.\” Finally, he vowed: \”I will change myself and become a good father.\” A few years later, the \”confused\” father transformed perfectly, playing violin and skiing with Sendie. , running, playing tennis. Companionship has become his daily confession. On Sendie\’s 10th birthday, he also posted a message on Weibo wishing his daughter a happy birthday, with full of fatherly love in the words. Psychology points out that if a father\’s role is involved, the child\’s IQ will be higher, the child will be more compassionate, healthier, and more likely to succeed. Even when doing homework, the child will be more focused and less likely to conflict with the teacher. Compared with children whose mothers educate them unilaterally, children whose fathers participate in education will develop better in the future. Social experience tells me: A truly good father will not help his mother with her children. Because in their eyes and hearts, home and education are part of daily life, and raising a family and spending time with their children are obligations and even more responsibilities. Some time ago, a Weibo post made people very sad. Blogger @YanduLittlePolice posted a note his son posted on the door: Please do not enter (Dad, I am talking about you). He lamented on Weibo: It’s been too long since I’ve been home, and this is the treatment. Netizens commented, \”The rejection from the baby is so sad!\” Many fathers are unable to stay with their children due to professional reasons. But even so, fathers should maintain a loving connection with their children. My friend\’s father is a soldier and is away from home all year round. But her relationship with her father was not as messy as she imagined. Although there is no father in her life, his presence and love are always there. When she was little, her father would send her his recordings. When she was older, she maintained long-term and stable communication on the phone, and when she was older, she switched to letters. Dad is not only a father to her, but also a confidant who talks about everything. The most indispensable thing in her home is her father\’s photos, which are everywhere, showing his style in every gesture. Looking back at many families around us, the father has become an \”identity\” in the family and is not part of the child\’s life. He has not entered the child\’s life at all. As writer Liu Yong said: Many fathers have no hands in their children’s drawings. Why? Because in the child\’s memory, his father is like a shadow that he can never catch. The Beijing Women\’s Federation conducted a surveyIt shows that currently, mothers account for 70.2% of the families responsible for children’s education, while fathers only account for 20%. True fatherly love needs to be felt. The world of children never lacks the identity of \”father\”, but what is lacking is the warmth and care of \”father\”. There was a sailor named George Mansell in the United States who went on a long voyage shortly after his son was born. When he returned three years later, he was surprised to see that his son behaved strangely, was withdrawn, had a strong sense of inferiority, and had no trace of an innocent and lively child. This phenomenon is called \”lack of fatherly love syndrome\” in psychology. \”Lack of father\’s love syndrome\” is actually a kind of separation anxiety caused by the lack of father\’s love. This type of separation anxiety manifests as mild emotional symptoms such as timidity and anxiety, and severe symptoms such as autonomic nerve dysfunction and physiological symptoms such as palpitations, dizziness, and fainting. Father\’s love has a huge impact on children: boys with sufficient father\’s love have advantages in their sense of independence in life and self-confidence in learning. And those children who have lived among women for a long time are prone to deviations in their personality characteristics and psychological state, such as being easily frightened, irritable, depressed, and sentimental. Over time, boys\’ personalities will become feminine and lack the due qualities. manly. If a girl lacks the company of her father, it may cause confusion in gender cognition and lack of gender identity, which will seriously affect her future life and marriage. The father\’s influence on children begins from the time the child is born. Whether at home or in other strange situations, infants and children crave their father\’s caress. Psychologist Gerdi said: Men are more adventurous, exploratory, tolerant and curious than women. These characteristics will be vividly reflected in the education of children. Father\’s love can give children courage. I watched a short video a few days ago, and I was instantly warmed by the father in the video. There is a little girl named \”Bella\” who is going to perform ballet on stage. As soon as she came on stage, she suddenly wanted to throw away the teacher\’s hand and started crying alone. Maybe it\’s because Bella is still young and afraid of standing on the stage. Fortunately, the father came on stage holding the baby. Wearing white pants and a black top, he looked like a \”big black goose\” mixed in among the \”little swans\”. The father held the baby with his right hand and held little Bella with his left hand, doing awkward ballet movements. Bella also slowly came out of the shadow of fear and danced happily and confidently with her father. It really lives up to the saying: Dad is always his daughter’s strongest supporter. Father\’s love can improve children\’s IQ. Daniel Nettle, a British professor of human behavior, analyzed 17,146 children born in a certain week in March 1958. The researchers divided fathers\’ involvement in childcare into four groups: single/fatherless, fathers with minimal involvement, fathers with high involvement but not as much as mothers, and mothers with the same level of involvement. Involvement was assessed based on how much time the father spent participating in specific parent-child activities (reading or playing games). If the father only lives with the child and has no common parent-child activities, he cannot be considered to be involved. Researchers analyzed the growth of 17,146 children and found a surprising fact: regardless of the father\’s socioeconomic status,Regardless of position, children whose fathers are highly involved in childrearing will have higher IQ scores at age 11 than children whose fathers are less involved. The latest research results from the WHO also show that children who spend more than two hours a day with their fathers on average have higher IQs, boys are more like little men, and girls know better how to interact with the opposite sex when they grow up. Father\’s love can inspire children\’s sense of responsibility. In most families today, the father plays the role of \”head of the family.\” The family\’s ability to withstand external pressure is directly proportional to the father\’s responsibility. Last weekend, a friend fell ill, and the father was temporarily asked by his boss to work overtime. When he went out, he told his 7-year-old son to take good care of the \”women\” at home. After taking the medicine, she fell asleep. When she woke up, she heard a ding-dong-dong sound coming from the kitchen, and her son kept telling her sister: \”Don\’t move, brother will help you.\” She was about to ask her son what happened, and saw her son holding a steaming cup of tea. of bowls and staggered in. The son said to her: \”I promised my father, it is my responsibility today to take good care of you and my sister!\” Psychologists from the former Soviet Union confirmed that because the image of the father is a symbol of strength, he is brave, decisive, generous, broad-minded, and enterprising. Strong, so children who are affected by these will treat life and career more seriously, conscientiously and responsibly. In \”The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children\” compiled by the U.S. Department of Health, it is proposed that \”father\’s function\” includes 7 aspects: 1. Cultivate a positive relationship with the child\’s mother 2. Spend time with the child 3. Raise the child 4. Properly discipline children 5. Guide children to the world outside the family 6. Protect and support 7. Become a role model for children In order for the \”good father standard\” to be implemented, it is very important for fathers to awaken their \”fatherly consciousness\”. A very important point is to get rid of machismo and patriarchy, and then, together with the mother, shoulder the responsibility of education without hesitation. Family education cannot rely solely on \”conscience\”, but must also have actions and advanced concepts, and recognize the important role of \”father\’s role\” in a child\’s growth. This cannot be replaced by any money. Therefore, I hope dads can: less socializing and more companionship; less \”business\” negotiation and more heart-to-heart communication. A long-term, stable parent-child relationship is more important than worldly success. Psychologist Fromm said: Father represents the other extreme of human existence: that is, it represents the world of ideas, the laws, rules and disciplines created by people. A father is the one who educates his children and shows them the way to the world. On the road of education, a good father is worth 100 good teachers. I wish: Happy holidays to all the dads around the world!

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