There is such a story. One autumn, a group of swans came to a small island in Swan Lake. They fly from the far north and prepare to spend the winter in the south. An old fisherman and his wife lived on the island. They were very happy to see this group of extraterrestrial visitors. They carefully fed the swans with chicken feed and small fish. Winter has come, but this group of swans has not continued flying south. The lake was frozen and they couldn\’t get food, so the old couple opened their huts to keep them warm and feed them until the lake thawed the next spring. Day after day, year after year, every winter, this old couple dedicated their love in this way. Finally one year, they got old and left the island, and the swan disappeared. But instead of flying south, they starved to death when the lake froze the next year. In the story, the fisherman and his wife take great care of the swan as if they were their own children, taking care of its food and shelter, and dedicate their love \”day after day, year after year\”. People can\’t help but sigh: \”What a good couple, what a lucky swan!\” However, the tragic ending of the swan tells us that it is the excessive love of the fisherman and his wife that makes the swan indulge in a leisurely and comfortable life. Developing inertia, losing the instinct of life and the basis for survival, unable to adapt to the environment, and eventually being engulfed by the changed environment! In real life, how many parents spend their entire lives creating a comfortable and comfortable nest of love for their children! When the child was young, he held it in his hand for fear of falling, and held it in his mouth for fear of melting. If children want stars, they dare not give them the moon. They are not allowed to do a little bit of housework, suffer a little bit, and suffer a little bit of fatigue. They are allowed to live a life of \”clothing to stretch out their hands and food to open their mouths.\” When the children grow up, they are busy finding a good job for them that can guarantee the harvest during droughts and floods, and they are not exposed to the sun or rain. They also want to leave them a rich inheritance, at least a house, even if they have to pay for it. They are willing to endure all kinds of hardships… This is a typical \”fisherman couple\” type of parents and their broad and selfless love! However, thinking about the ending of the swan, can we still be in awe of this love? In fact, this kind of \”meticulous\” love, this kind of love that blindly creates comfort and ease, is exactly the \”trap\” of life. People who fall into this \”trap\” have nothing but dependence and laziness. Once \”the lake freezes\” occurs in life, their ending will never be any better than that of the swans. People certainly need love, but when this love mutates into a gift of happiness and an all-inclusive care, it is no longer love and becomes a gentle knife. As a parent, you need to learn to keep a knife in your heart. The movie \”The King of Soul\” tells the glorious and legendary life of American jazz and rock music figure Ray Charles. This is a true story. Ray Charles is an African-American musician. He was born in a poor small town in Georgia, USA, but poverty was not his only hardship. At the age of seven, he became blind due to glaucoma. The film faithfully records his flashes. and suffering. There is a scene in the movie: the blind little Charles bumped and ran around the house, kept falling and wrestling, and the pain was so unbearable that he cried and shouted: \”MomMom, mom, help me! help me! help me! \”The mother stood in a corner of the room, her face full of tears, but she just looked at her son silently without saying a word. With a knife in her heart, she watched her child suffer. With her own heart in mind, she stood beside her son. Behind you, silently watching him fall, turning worry, anxiety, and distrust into letting go, believing and encouraging, this is love! This is real love, this is a higher level of parental love. Little Charles will need it in the future When a person faces his own life, he must learn to find his own position and direction in the darkness. Therefore, even if parents have a knife in their hearts, they must be willing to let their children suffer. The classic psychological masterpiece \”The Road Less Traveled\” The first sentence at the beginning of \”The Road\” is: \”Life is full of hardships. “This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths in the world. Its greatness lies in the fact that once we figure it out, we can achieve transcendence in life. As long as we know that life is hard—as long as we truly understand and accept this—then we will never hold back on the hardships of life. However, most people are unwilling to face it. In their view, life should be comfortable and smooth. They either blame others or complain that they were born unlucky. They always lament the countless troubles, pressures, and difficulties that accompany them, and they consider themselves the most unfortunate people in the world. \”Life is a series of problems and hardships, and this is true for everyone. Qualified parents should try their best to let their children realize this and face life with a positive attitude. If you don\’t endure hardship now, you will be successful in the future. Hard work. As a parent, you have to bear your own discomfort, bear your own inner pain, and accompany your child to grow up instead of helping him grow up. This is a very big test for parents. If the quilt is not neatly folded, help him fold it; If you can\’t tie your shoelaces, help him tie them; if he falls while riding a bike, help him up; if he sees his child sad, go to him and hug him… It\’s easy to be a parent who protects your children from wind and rain, but it\’s hard to be a caring parent. It is very, very difficult to stick a knife in the eyes of parents who watch their children suffer. Sometimes, we even think that such parents are very cruel and how can they treat their children like this. However, there is no wind and rain that parents can completely block, and the wind and rain that can be blocked may be the result of training The source of strong wings blocks the wind and rain, and dies the wings of flying. Every child must bear the responsibility of his own life. My daughter is going to study abroad, and I want to train her to learn to cook by herself, so that she will not be troubled no matter where she goes. The ability to starve. But at the beginning, she would rather not eat, study or do anything. Seeing her like this, I was actually struggling inside, but I think I have to endure it. Because, I definitely can’t. It may be possible for her father to stay with her forever and prepare every meal, but she will have to do it by herself in the future. Not only must she do it, but she must also learn to cook better for herself three meals a day. We all want to To cultivate a child with the ability to take care of himself independently, this ability cannot be said, but done. And the process of doing it is staggering at first, doing it barely, then becoming more proficient, and finally becoming very proficient. Being able toThe ability to freely arrange one\’s own food, clothing, housing, and transportation is definitely not something that a nanny can help achieve. This ability cannot be accomplished with the help of grandparents, nor can it be accomplished by mothers who think they love their children very much. It is very easy to be a mother who makes your children happy and makes you feel comfortable. However, going smoothly and being comfortable will not bring about growth. Children can only become full-fledged through stumbling and experiencing various experiences. Because no ability is produced purely in joy and pleasure, and the ability to face wind and rain is cultivated in pain and frustration. If you don’t endure hardship now, you will surely have hardship in the future. Moreover, society is developing rapidly, and many new professions have emerged that our parents have never heard of. One child told me, \”In the eyes of my parents, there are only five types of professions in the world: civil servants, doctors, teachers, employees of state-owned enterprises, and business. As long as they do not fall into the first four categories, they are all called business. In the past few years, it was not even called business. , just say \’self-employed\’.\” If we use this standard to classify, then the Internet and financial industries that have become popular in recent years are all \”self-employed\”. My parents have worked hard all their lives as doctors, teachers, and civil servants, but they have to face the decline of traditional industries and the rise of emerging industries. In the end, if children want to develop better, they still have to work hard in emerging industries. The industry connections that parents have accumulated for a lifetime are of no use at all. What really plays a decisive role in a child\’s future development is perseverance and self-reliance in the face of wind and rain and difficulties. Children also need to \”toddle\” psychologically. Every time you see your child struggling alone and the longing look in his eyes, even if you feel very uncomfortable at the time, when you think about your child being able to live alone in the future, you have to bear the pain. This pain is something you as a mother must suffer, and your child must experience the pain of growing up. Every child is just beginning to toddle. If he falls, help him immediately. If this happens every time, the child will never learn to walk. But he must walk the road by himself. We will definitely not hold the child and help him walk all the way. The child you hold will never walk. Psychologically speaking, children also go through this process of toddlerhood, and this psychological process is something that many of us don’t know or understand. The reason why some families raise children who are physically strong but have defects in personality and abilities is because the parents do not psychologically help their children to complete toddlerhood. Children will definitely encounter many hardships and hardships in their lives. These hardships cannot be overcome by parents\’ material compensation or spiritual doting. To use the simplest analogy, children go to school, from elementary school to high school to university. Wherever there are people, there will be competition and comparison. Every child is a treasure in the hands of parents, but every treasure has to face such cruel, ubiquitous, and consistent competition. If the child does not have the psychological ability to toddler and face difficulties in his growth, he may collapse at some point: How many of the elementary school, junior high school, high school and even college students we have seen choose to commit suicide? Really capable parents can truly cultivate a child who can bear the responsibility of his own life.son. Doing everything and saying everything with thought can help cultivate children\’s ability to face the ups and downs of life alone and navigate the ups and downs of the world. In order to help children grow up, enduring the pain in your heart is a more responsible love.