When your child doesn’t want to go to bed, say this: It’s bedtime in 10 minutes. Should you wash up first or tell a story first? Don\’t say this: Go back to your room yet, it\’s so late, stop playing, hurry up! I\’ve said it several times! The child’s voice: Mom and Dad, I don’t want to sleep unless I’m sleepy. Maybe I want to watch TV, maybe I want to do something interesting, but I don’t know what’s going on with the time? As long as you set a sleeping time and let me abide by it, your body\’s biological clock will be set, and I will gradually develop the habit of going to bed on time. When you \”say this\” to me, I will choose what I like to do, and then go to bed naturally. However, there may be an exception when I am sick. When the child is dawdling in doing things, say something like this: We have to leave in 5 minutes. Do you want to get dressed now or hold on to the clothes? What bag are you bringing? If you don’t say this: Are you still dawdling there? We\’re going to be late, hurry up, do you hear me? Child\’s voice: Mom and Dad, I didn\’t realize that I was wasting my time, especially when playing with my favorite toys. I have no concept of time. If you \”say this\” to me, I will make a choice according to your urging. Say this when your child says \”no\”: Okay, you can say \”no,\” but, I need to hear why you said \”no\” so that I can understand you. Okay, say it. Don\’t say this: What do children know? Why are you so stubborn? I am treating you well. Child\’s voice: Mom and Dad, when I say \”no\”, I am trying my independence and trying to prove that I am growing up. Maybe, I just can\’t accept your teaching. Maybe, when you \”say this\” to me , I am learning not to be afraid of others and to express my true thoughts bravely. When a child accidentally breaks something, say this: It doesn\’t matter. With experience this time, he won\’t break it in the future. Everyone makes mistakes, so do I, so why not try to fix it. Don’t say this: Look at you kid, you broke such an expensive thing, can I still buy it for you next time? Child\’s voice: Mom and Dad, when I break something, I get nervous and scared. When you \”say this\” to me, I will feel that you really understand me, and I will pay attention to it in the future. When the child wants to ignore us, we say: My child, Mom feels that you are worried today. Can I help you? Talk to your mother and you will feel better. Can you feel that I\’m worried about you? Don’t say this: I’m talking to you! What\’s going on? Why are you kid so ignored? Child\’s voice: Mom and Dad, actually I don\’t have anything on my mind. Sometimes I want to stay by myself for a while. Maybe I\’m thinking about the secrets in my heart. Maybe I\’m thinking about things that I think are important. When you \”say this\” to me, I realize that you care about me, and I may tell you what\’s on your mind. When a child refuses to let others play with a toy, say this: Think about it, should you play with it for 5 minutes first, and then let him play with it for 10 minutes, or should you let him play with it for 5 minutes, and then you play with it for 10 minutes, or should you give him another toy to play with? Don’t say this: you have to learn to share. Give him some time to play. Child\’s voice: Mom and Dad, I really like my toys and I really don\’t want others to play with them. I\’m afraid he broke it. When you say to me \”\”, I might let him play with it, maybe give him another one to play with. When a child uses crying to achieve his goal, say something like this: If you don\’t cry, let\’s see what we do together. Quiet, what do you want to say to me? …Don’t say it like this: Cry, cry, cry, you know how to cry, is crying useful? How could I have a child like you. The child’s voice: Mom and Dad, crying is a useful weapon for me. I used it successfully before However, I got what I wanted. So, I cried to test your reaction; maybe crying is my instinctive way of expressing myself, and I haven\’t learned how to speak to adults yet. When you By \”saying this\” to me, you are patiently teaching me a new method.