• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

If the parents are fooling around, why should the children fight?

I recently saw this joke on Weibo: a child was scolded by his mother for being stupid because of poor grades. The child said unconvinced: There are three kinds of stupid birds in the world, one is the first to fly, and the other is too tired to fly… The mother asked: What about the third kind? The child said: This is the most annoying thing. If you can\’t fly, you will lay an egg in the nest and ask the next generation to fly hard… After reading the joke, it was the children who were hilarious and the parents who were heartbroken. But if you think about it carefully, you can see that the words are rough but not rough. In fact, there are many such parents around us. While hoping for success, one should give up on oneself. While giving their children a demanding life, they have no requirements for their own growth. Words are far inferior to teaching by example. Some people say that one of the magical logics of Chinese parents is that they only compare their children, but do not look at the gap between themselves and other parents. Every child is a blank slate from birth, full of unlimited potential. What he will grow into depends largely on his parents\’ words and deeds, especially their example. I read a piece of news before that said: There is a couple in Sichuan who firmly believe that saving money is worse than saving people, so they gave birth to 11 children in a row, and threatened that as long as one of the children has success, the fate of the whole family will change. God, this is such a ridiculous and terrible idea, and what a selfish and greedy desire. Before the children grow up, parents are waiting for their children to carry the whole family. This kind of thinking can be called a overwhelming burden. As a child, when I think about flying with a dozen lazy birds on my back, can I still fly? Scared to death. Of course, parents with such extreme ideas are an exception. But it is not uncommon to see parents who have no ambition at all and just want to wait for their children to fly on their backs. My neighbor Xiaonuo is a stay-at-home mother. Her son is only 6 years old and has not yet entered elementary school. But even though the child is so young, she has already enrolled him in five courses: piano, English, calligraphy, taekwondo, and speed calculation. Every weekend, the child is either studying or on the way to study; and she herself is either watching TV, playing on her mobile phone, shopping on Taobao, or hanging out to chat and play cards. I once asked her why she enrolled her children in so many classes? Her answer was: His father and I have been like this for the rest of our lives. The competition in today’s society is so fierce. The more children learn, the better, and the more promising they will be in the future. The future of our family depends on him! I wonder how her son would feel if he heard this. But as a mother, I cannot agree with this idea. Today’s parents actually don’t hesitate to pay for their children. They are all willing to give their children the healthiest organic food, the most expensive clothes and toys, and create the best learning conditions. Many parents regard this as their total contribution to their children. They are willing to spend any amount of money on their children, but they are unwilling to give their children the most important lesson they need: the excellence of their parents. Excellence here does not refer to how much money you want to make or how big your career is. It refers to your efforts, your struggle, your progress, and your belief in never giving up on self-growth. In this era of universal learning, if you yourself are not progressing or growing, how can you confidently ask your children? Why put all the effort into the children? Why do you want to be a vassal of your children? Why should youDoes the value of your life rest on your children? Instead of forcing children to be good, it is better to grow up first. Maintaining self-growth is the most important education for children. In \”City of Fantasy\”, Yi Nengjing was asked why she came to participate in this show. She said it stemmed from the first quarrel she had with her son. Her son hopes to take editing classes, but she wants him to take screenwriting classes. Her son said something like this to her: \”You tell me what you know. How do you know that what you know is everything? And I know what you don\’t know. You have never been to my future.\” The son\’s words Yi Nengjing was surprised. She suddenly realized that she had already started a family, gained fame and fortune, and had given up on self-exploration and growth unknowingly after living a perfect life in people\’s eyes. So she told the audience in the show: \”I am not here to prove the Yi Nengjing of the past, I am here to develop a future Yi Nengjing.\” After becoming a parent, you must be a good yourself and strive to be a good role model for your children. Always stay curious, learn something, gain something, and constantly improve and enrich yourself. As Tolstoy said: \”All education, or nine hundred and ninety-nine percent of education, comes down to role models and the correctness and perfection of parents\’ own lives.\” Parents and children are independent individuals and should grow up to be beautiful. Parents\’ positivity and efforts in treating themselves, work, and life are the best \”unspoken teachings\” to their children. Yang Lan lamented: \”As a professional woman, I was also confused about how to balance work and life. Later I found that for children, it is more important to see their parents enjoying their work and life. Seeing the huge world , bring back interesting stories, and give some guidance when children are confused. Children will have a panoramic view of how you behave, your attitude and behavior.\” Only by becoming better ourselves can we educate children to become better people. No matter what age you are, as a parent, only by cultivating yourself persistently can you enjoy the wonderful time of growing up with your children and broaden your life. The most beautiful relationship is when you grow up and I grow up too. An old classmate has been teaching in primary schools for many years. She has carefully analyzed that among the students she has taught, the children with excellent grades often come from learning-oriented families whose parents grew up They all pay more attention to parent-child reading and self-improvement. Children have strong learning ability and are in a relaxed state. This kind of growth-oriented parents themselves are in a happy state of loving learning and enjoying self-growth, so they don\’t need to explain too much to their children. The children will see it and imitation has always been their nature. Children can always learn from \”You live your life\”, \”I must live my life too\” and \”How should I live my life\”. \”Who you are\” is far more important than \”what you do for your children.\” The latest season of \”The Strongest Brain\” has been launched. This program still brings together top academics from Tsinghua and Peking University overseas universities. In the top 100 competition, experts gathered and competed fiercely, but the one who impressed me most was a 40-year-old father player. The father\’s reason for participating is simple – to compete with his son. In the top 100 competition, the fatherBoth of them were shortlisted. An excellent father raised an equally excellent son. An excellent family environment should be a positive environment for learning together. Because parenting is a journey of cause and effect. Parents are the cause and children are the effect. Whatever the \”cause\” is, there will be \”results\”. When parents learn to withdraw as much as possible from dinner parties, mobile TV, mahjong video games and other scenes, pay more attention to self-education and self-growth, become more actively involved in parent-child interaction, learn together, and set a good example, this is undoubtedly the best life for their children. Gift. When your life makes your children proud, then your children\’s future will also make you proud. As the saying goes, educate others first. As a parent, you should learn throughout your life.

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