• Sat. Dec 2nd, 2023

If you are a truly far-sighted person, be the guide for your children’s life.

There is a question on Zhihu: How difficult is it to educate children? Some netizens answered below: Those who are close will feel inferior, and those who are far away will feel resentful. This sentence said by Confucius is particularly accurate when it comes to educating children. Educating children is an art. Raising an outstanding child, although there are genetic factors, is inseparable from the contribution of family education. However, as their children\’s first teachers, many parents have no idea how to be a good \”teacher\” and how to \”teach\”. But there is such a wise man who knows how to educate his children. He skillfully uses words, deeds and letters to pass on the things he wants to teach his children, so that the children will get better and better. This person is Liu Yong, a well-known writer and educator. \”Success by Yourself\” is a book specially written by Liu Yong for his daughter. In this book, Liu Yong and his daughter talk about how to plan sleep, how to use time, how to improve efficiency and other topics. These topics are very suitable for parents and children. Liu Yong believes that educating children requires free education and love education, and this book is a fusion of these two views. Learn to be independent and be your own master. In the United States, children can stay home alone when they reach the age of 13, and they can even help take care of the baby. Therefore, as long as the child is over 10 years old, he or she can learn to be independent as early as possible. The first thing to become independent is to take responsibility for yourself instead of leaving everything to your parents. Independent children should be able to store their own things, put their own underwear in the laundry basket, and respond by themselves when the doorbell rings. In addition, leaving parents and going out bravely is also a good opportunity for children to become independent. Liu Yong\’s daughter is going to Caoshan Music School to attend a summer camp for seven weeks. The children are not allowed to make phone calls or access the Internet. They are not even allowed to watch TV. Their parents are not allowed to visit. When Liu Yong\’s friends found out about this, they were surprised and asked how Liu Yong could be relieved. But Liu Yong replied that when you are young, you have to take a step forward and see what it will be like on the other side of the horizon. So although the child was afraid of the summer camp, she still insisted on going; although Liu Yong and his wife were reluctant to leave, they still agreed to her going. Because choosing to step out bravely is the beginning of independence. Independence is a sign that a child has become a little master. Children should be happy that they can be their own masters and make themselves independent as soon as possible. Learn to make smart arrangements and greatly improve efficiency. In the United States, many children go to school by school bus, but Liu Yong’s daughter needs to be picked up by her mother. It\’s not because the child is squeamish, but because the child is a perfectionist. She requires everything to be neat, so it takes longer than others to go out. But in Liu Yong\’s eyes, this was a lack of priority. Not knowing what to prioritize is not a good thing in this competitive society. Because there are always accidents in this world, and everything cannot happen until you are ready. Therefore, learning to consider priorities is particularly critical. Just like when Liu Yong painted Epiphyllum, he would break his original painting habits. Originally, when Liu Yong painted flowers, he would start from the left side first. But because the blooming time of epiphyllum is too short, Liu Yong would paint the entire flower. After the flower was painted, he would paint the leaves. This way, even if the flowers wither, the leaves can still be used as a reference for drawing. You see, onlyWe must clearly distinguish our priorities and learn to consider priorities, so that we can achieve the best results within the limited time. In addition, being smart about to-do items can also greatly improve our efficiency. Liu Yong\’s daughter was very anxious because she had to participate in science competitions, stay in school for drills, and do her homework well. Regarding this situation, Liu Yong\’s advice is that since we can\’t escape what we have to do, we can only face it, and the best way to face it is to list the things we have to do one by one, first Finish the most important thing first. It\’s like an exam. If we encounter a question that we don\’t know, instead of thinking about it all the time, we might as well skip it and do what we know. Anxiety is a waste of time. Instead of worrying, it is better to take action first. Clear priorities + considering priorities = full work efficiency. Having a good attitude is a prerequisite for facing life calmly. One day, while having dinner, Liu Yong\’s daughter said that the biological science examination was about to be held, and she was very nervous. At this time, Liu Yong told her to have a normal mind. A normal mind is when people face special situations with a normal mood. For example, if you eat an egg and a piece of bread for breakfast every day, and sleep for seven or eight hours at night, then the exam should be the same as usual. But if we take the exam too seriously and eat more eggs, bread, or even drink juice on the day of the exam, then when we get to the exam room, we are likely to have a stomachache due to eating too much or not being used to eating. Therefore, if a child is nervous about taking an exam, the best way to relieve it is to go to bed at exactly the usual time. Secondly, when we face unusual situations, we need to make arrangements in advance and use enough time to spread out those unusual burdens. For example, many children are burdened with exams, so they should study hard and prepare in advance. If you need to wear new clothes to participate in a competition, try them on in advance and walk around to see if you adapt. In addition to telling his daughter to keep a normal mind, Liu Yong also told her to never just complain when she encounters unfairness. One day, Liu Yong\’s daughter came home with an unhappy face. He said that he participated in the competition of the school poetry club, but he did not win the prize. She was so confident in her own work that she felt it was so unfair. But Liu Yong told her that being unhappy was not the solution. Parents need to let their children understand that the world is inherently unfair. Some are beautiful and some are ugly; some are tall and some are short; some are rich and some are poor; some are smart and some are stupid. To deal with these injustices, we must either fight with force or turn our grief and anger into strength. Don\’t complain, let alone be resentful. Sometimes the world is not so beautiful, and we need to be vigilant. There is such a story: A student went to a department store and met a woman asking for help. He agreed to the woman and helped carry the two packages to a white car at the door. But before he could step out, he was caught by department store guards. It turned out that those two packages were valuable goods that had not been paid for. This student could not defend himself because he had gained all the stolen goods. The woman who asked her for help and the white car had long since disappeared without a trace. Liu Yong used this incident to tell his daughter that there is no such thing in this world.It\’s so beautiful, but sometimes it\’s full of dangers. As a parent, you need to remind your children to be wary of strangers, but more importantly, you need to remind your children to pay attention to \”wolves in sheep\’s clothing.\” \”Wolves in sheep\’s clothing\” are those who don\’t seem to offend you, who don\’t seem to get you into trouble, and who even seem amiable. Be careful when they act strangely. In addition, parents should repeatedly remind their children that they must walk carefully in the road of life. There is a saying in \”Li Xin\” that \”When you are in a certain country, ask about the taboos; when you enter a country, ask about the customs.\” This means that when you first arrive at a place, you must first ask about the taboos there; when entering another country, you must ask about the local customs. For example, when women go to Arab countries, they have to wear black robes when going out. Without exception, even the female dependents of diplomats from various countries are like this. The reason why everyone does this is very simple. This is the cultural difference between different countries and different religions. No matter how noble the status of the woman is, she must do this, otherwise she may be in trouble. Therefore, parents need to remind their children to respect different cultural differences and to follow the local customs when traveling. On the road of life, there is a limit to how much parents can accompany their children. Children need to walk most of the journey of life alone. The earlier you tell your children these precautions, the more calmly your children will be able to face the world. The world is a beautiful place, but it also requires us to be vigilant. The above is the essence of this book. We often say that every family has its own scriptures that are difficult to recite. The same goes for educating children, who need to teach them in accordance with their aptitude. Liu Yong believes that every child has his own characteristics and advantages. As a parent, the best education is to let them give full play to these strengths. This requires free education and love education for them. As Kimura Kuichi said, family should be a palace of love, joy and laughter. Educating children with love, joy and laughter is a kind of wisdom. And wisdom will give birth to three fruits: good at thinking, good at speaking, and good at acting. And such children can definitely go further.

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