• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

If you used to annoy your parents when you were a child, don\’t let your children annoy you.

I was giving the baby a bath, putting shampoo on his head, and letting him close his eyes while rinsing with water. The baby yelled: \”Why haven\’t you finished washing yet? Why haven\’t you finished washing yet?\” I was so angry: \”Why are you so anxious? Every time I ask you to take a bath, it\’s like going to the execution ground. Shut up.\” Suddenly, I was stunned. Suddenly, I remembered my childhood: When I was a child, I went to a big bathhouse with my mother to take a bath, and I was scalded by hot water until I wanted to pee. I even climbed up to the edge of the pool and said, \”Hot!\” My mother shouted, \”Why is it hot? No one else is afraid of the heat, but you are afraid of the heat.\” She pulled me into the water. Then the second half became even more uncomfortable, and my mother’s strong scrubbing made my skin red and peeling. She shouted, “It hurts!” My mother said angrily, “Why are you so delicate? Can you get rid of the dirt without scrubbing hard?” At that time, my family lived in There is only one public toilet in the courtyard. When the street lights were dim at night, I asked my father to accompany me. My father said: \”Look at your worthless appearance. Xiaohua is younger than you, but you dare to go there. I don\’t want to believe that you can fall into the pit.\” I couldn\’t express the frustration and low self-esteem I felt at that time. Since then, I have thought in my heart that when I grow up, I will never say such words to my own children. But since I became a mother, why am I so forgetful? Do you talk to your own child just like my father and mother did back then? Many people made a vow when they were children that they would never do anything when they became parents. But when I became a father and mother, I had long forgotten this. We keep repeating this tragedy. We often replace children\’s eyes with adults\’ eyes, their feelings with adults\’ feelings, and their goals with our goals. However, just like our elders, we keep saying \”We are doing this for your own good\” all day long, \”How selfless our love is\” and so on. We do not admit that our love is selfish, but in fact our love is so selfish. We still do things, think, and make judgments on behalf of our children autocratically, without any regard for the feelings of their young hearts. 【1】If you choose a playmate as a child, your parents must approve it. Then please stop telling your child that you should stay away from that child because he will not learn well. 【2】If your childhood had to be dictated by your parents as to how much you should eat. So please don\’t say to your children again, \”My child, how can you grow taller if you eat so little?\” Listen to mom and take another bite. 【3】If you were a child, you had to look at your parents’ eyes even when your children’s friends came home to play. Then please stop telling your children, \”My child, your study is the most important thing. Don\’t let them play at home.\” 【4】If you let other children take advantage of your childhood, your parents will accuse you of being stupid. So please don\’t tell your child again, child, are you so stupid that you don\’t know when he takes your pencil? 【5】If you didn’t like wearing a certain kind of clothes when you were a child, your parents forced you to wear them and said they looked good. So please listen to your children\’s opinions more when choosing clothes and let them have more choices. 【6】If you had to specify the feeling of taking a bath in your childhood by your parents. So when your child says it’s hot, please turn it cold so that your child’s delicate skin and tender meat can feel the appropriate temperature. [7] If you lost something in your childhood, your parents would scold you as if the sky was falling. Then please tell your child, child, as long as your life is not lost, it’s a trivial matter to lose anything, just remember it longer. 【8】If your childhood was often compared by your parents. Then please don\’t say to your children again, \”Child, look at how good other people\’s children are.\” [9] If you were interrupted by your parents when you asked a question in your childhood, why do you care so much? Then please answer your child\’s questions patiently, and encourage your child to think hard and ask questions well. 【10】If you failed in childhood and cried, your parents accused you of being so cowardly. Then please tell your child, child, I know you feel uncomfortable. I felt the same way when I was a child. It doesn\’t matter, take your time, with mom here, you can make a comeback as long as you work hard. Adults will never understand the world of children. Many things that children encounter actually require more listening, care and love from their parents. that\’s enough. In fact, they just need us to respect their inner feelings, be more democratic and less authoritarian, more tolerant and less blaming, more understanding and less commanding, more lenient and less disruptive. This is the real influence on children\’s world. respect! In front of the child, it is enough for us to be a bystander with love in our eyes. Listen to the child and be a good mother. Maybe you will find that he will grow up better.

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