• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

In a good family, children are never the center

I think there is no era where we pay more attention to the inner world of children than we do now. I remember when we were young, our parents almost didn’t care about the reason for your crying. It\’s just a stick. If you don\’t obey, I\’ll beat you. If you are naughty, I will hit you. And now? We will work hard to understand our children\’s behavior. Give them good love. Sometimes, I really feel that today’s children are happy. But in this world of love. There are many families who are dislocated. Treat the child as the center of the family, and the whole family will revolve around the child. I once saw a sentence, \”Never put your children first. Anyone who puts their children first will most likely be in for a tragedy for the family.\” When I saw this sentence, I thought of an old man in my hometown village. He got a son in middle age, which was like a treasure. When he meets people, he always says that his son is extremely smart, well-behaved and filial. When his son comes back from studying, he will prepare good meals. As for working by yourself at noon, just use boiling water to make rice. I eat the bad fruits I buy and leave the good ones to my son. Even if you are sick, you will not be treated, saying that you will get better if you endure it for a while. If the Lord of Hell does not want it, you will get better naturally. But every time his son sneezed, he would be nervous for a long time. He is such a good father, but he did not get any love from his son when he was old. One winter, it snowed heavily in the village. The son, who is in his 30s, lives in a new home built for him by his father, while the father lives in a dilapidated old house. The old house only had a few wooden walls, a low bed, and a few thick quilts. Over time, they had become as hard as stone. Someone said to his son: \”In this weather, it would be warmer for the old man to live in his new house.\” \”He likes living there! It\’s okay!\” A few days later, someone saw that the old man was sick. He told his son: \”Your dad is sick, take him to see him.\” \”It\’s okay, he likes to endure it. He always said that he just needs to endure it for a while. If the Lord of Hell doesn\’t want it, he will get better naturally.\” When relatives came to see the sick old man . The fruits were placed there, and my son picked out the good ones. Tell me to give it to your grandson. And the ones left behind are the ones that are dying. His son said: \”He has liked eating rotten fruit since I was a child and said it tastes good.\” Hearing these words, you must think that his son is mentally retarded. How could this be done to an old man? But he was such a person. In the end, the old man did not survive the illness and did not wait until spring. The final funeral was a grand one. People in the village said that this man spent more when he was dead than when he was alive! This is the sorrow of many elderly people. I still remember one time I heard a few old men chatting. An old man said that he was over 70 years old and still had to work every day. \”Why! You don\’t have much money to spend or much to eat.\” \”You don\’t know! You should be more diligent and leave more for your children and grandchildren. Someone will cry when you die. Otherwise, no one will care!\” I heard at the time This sentence is very shocking to my heart. Why can\’t we think more about ourselves? But for those false things. If the descendants are unworthy, what will they do with the money? In the end, he is not a prodigal son. But it is too much to put children as the center and not think about others for yourself. Then came one tragedy after another. In the family, every member has his or her own place. It should be an atmosphere of mutual love, equality and democracy. And children should feel this kind of love even more. So, please treat your child as aAn individual with his own thoughts and independent personality. Only when parents have this understanding can they truly respect their children. Respect does not mean treating the child as the center, but respecting the child\’s independence. The word independence is a bit weak. We can be more detailed and understand it as hands-on ability. In a child-centered family, parents see their children as babies who need to be cared for. Even if the baby is 30 years old, he is still his own baby. So the giant baby was born. Parents have to take care of everything and support them. In the cartoon \”Spirited Away\”, Xiaoqian gets lost and ends up in a soup house. In order not to be turned into an animal, the lonely Qian worked hard in the large bathhouse. Here, she also met many friends: Xiaoling who guided her work, and Grandpa Boiler, who was responsible for boiling bath water. If the thin little Qian Fanfan was a little lazy and waited to be served like a eldest lady. It should also turn into an animal and become dinner for monsters. In fact, our children will also enter society in the future. Isn’t this corner of society very much like the small town in Hayao Miyazaki’s lens? Children will meet all kinds of people and encounter some challenges. Fortunately, Chihiro is finally independent. Grandma Qian told Qianxun that no matter what it is, including returning to the original world with her parents, saving Bailong, etc., she has to rely on herself. This is also the rule of the game in our real life. Parents should encourage their children to do things more. Because only when you do it, you can feel what others are doing. For example, if your child does housework, he will know how hard his mother works. Let them participate in work-study programs, and then they will realize that their parents work hard. When everything is at your fingertips, this person is ungrateful. He doesn\’t see that you actually need it, and treats your efforts as \”deserted.\” Take what you get for granted. You choose to accommodate yourself and put your children at the center. It means giving up some of your own needs and losing your own value. People who have lost their self-worth are pitiful. She seems to love her children very much, but the children are not happy. On the contrary, it is painful. Why? Because the person standing in front of him does not have a life of his own, and everything is done to himself. The child will look down on you in his heart. If your child looks down on you in his heart, how can you raise him? When you have children, remember to give your loved one some time. Because the relationship between husband and wife is greater than the relationship between parents and children. A good relationship between husband and wife is the foundation of a family. Only a family with loving parents can raise sunny and happy children. But in fact, many mothers put almost all their energy into the baby when they first have a baby. It seems that all the love is transferred to the children as well. I still remember one time, a young father came to chat with me. The long message covered the entire phone screen. He said he didn\’t know how to be a father, and he didn\’t know how to be a husband either. Because his wife doesn\’t allow him to touch the child, saying he is careless. Moreover, for more than half a year, his wife forced him to sleep in another room. Did he say this would happen after having children? I feel like I\’m living the same life as when I was single. There are too many misunderstandings about fathers today, saying that they are indifferent to their children. But have you ever given them a chance? In fact, in the beginning, Dad needed Mom’s arrangements. faceFor a dad who is fussy, you can remind him to pick up the baby carefully. With enough guidance and trust, dads can do a great job. For example, when giving your child a bath, let him watch and appreciate it, and he can help pour water! Rub the child\’s back! It is these simple participations that can give fathers a lot of confidence. When a child is raised by his parents, in the process, the child begins to crawl, begins to teeth, and begins to walk. The relationship between husband and wife will also become deeper. With this foundation, the family atmosphere will be different. A happy and warm family can raise children who grow up happily.

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