I accidentally saw a \”sad\” story shared by an American mother on a website, which also reminded me of my \”obsession\” when I first became a mother more than three years ago. I want to share it with you today – 24 last month It was Landon Johnson’s fifth birthday in Japan. Unfortunately, he could never celebrate his birthday again… In fact, he never celebrated his birthday because he starved to death just a few days after he was born… For several years , his mother Jillian has always buried the pain and self-blame deep in her heart. It was only recently that she plucked up the courage to tell the whole story of the tragedy. The wound was bloody and torn again – it turned out that five years ago, her son Landon passed away smoothly. born. Because the baby-friendly hospital where Jillian works strongly promotes breastfeeding—baby formula is not allowed unless prescribed by a pediatrician. In addition, various parenting classes during pregnancy also mentioned that breastfeeding is beneficial to the child\’s health. Therefore, after giving birth, Jillian only fed her son breast milk in accordance with the doctor\’s instructions. However, Jillian soon discovered that something was not right – her son was fine with the nipple in his mouth, but as soon as he left his mother\’s arms, he would cry non-stop. Jillian was a little worried, but the doctor checked her and told her there was nothing wrong. This is a very common phenomenon for newborn babies, so she doesn’t need to worry too much. Jillian didn\’t think much more about it… Just like that, by the third day after birth, little Landon\’s weight had dropped by 9.7% compared to when he was born! On the third day, Jillian and little Landon were discharged from the hospital and went home. Little Landon still kept feeding, crying when he didn\’t feed, and the situation didn\’t get any better. Finally, after a feeding, Landon fell asleep and no longer responded. His heart and pulse stopped… Little Landon was rushed to the intensive care unit of the hospital and put on a ventilator. Doctors said the severe lack of water caused a drop in blood pressure and the lack of oxygen due to cardiac arrest also caused serious damage to the child\’s brain. Fifteen days later, a little life that had only been in this world for a few days passed away… This American mother said that the reason why she was willing to share this story five years later was because she hoped that other mothers would not make the same mistake with her again. The same mistake – if you don\’t have enough milk, don\’t insist on breastfeeding, feed your child some milk powder… Before giving birth, I always thought that I would be the kind of responsible and good mother defined in the book. For example, I need to take good care of myself before having a baby, I need to stay in a good mood as much as possible when I\’m pregnant, I must choose a natural birth when I give birth, and I need to breastfeed exclusively after giving birth… But in fact, I didn\’t do any of that. For me, who is used to doing my best in everything, it was really hard. But life is like this, full of variables and sometimes cruel. I had been married to my husband for five years, but couldn\’t resist the urging of my family and had a child. At that time, we were very busy with work and had no time to take good care of ourselves, so we got pregnant. When I was pregnant, I suddenly encountered an accident, and I had no sleep day and night, almost crash, no matterNo matter how I controlled it, I couldn\’t bring a good mood to the baby in my belly, causing him and me to bear the unexpected pressure. When I gave birth to the baby, the doctor said that your pelvic condition was very good and suitable for normal delivery, but I didn\’t expect that. After two days and one night, I was asked to have a caesarean section after reaching eight fingers. \”Mom, take the baby over quickly and make sure he breathes more!\” I love him. Since I haven\’t done the previous things, I at least To achieve full breast milk. Two crucian carp soup, Tongcao pork ribs soup, soybean and pig\’s trotters soup…all the foods that are good for milk production are eaten, but they don\’t seem to be of much use. In just one month, the milk did not increase, but the weight increased from 108 pounds to 115 pounds after giving birth. I asked people who had experienced this, searched Baidu, read parenting books, and called the breastfeeding hotline. Whenever I had time, I collected and researched experiences in breastfeeding. \”You should rest. If you don\’t sleep, you\’ll be less able to produce milk.\” My mother was trying to persuade me from the side, but how could I listen? At that time, I was so anxious that I couldn\’t sleep at all. \”Let the baby suck more, and there will always be a hanging feeding.\” The \”Breastfeeding Base Camp\” I accidentally discovered became my biggest spiritual support. There are posts similar to \”I finally succeeded in chasing milk after one month\” for myself. It not only brings confidence but also reminds me constantly that the reason why we have not achieved full breast milk is because we are not doing well enough. (Later I learned that nothing is absolute in the world, and there are some people who cannot achieve full breast milk no matter what.) A mother who was breastfeeding said that a certain manual breast pump promoted milk production better than an electric breast pump, and she quickly told her husband to buy it. I tried that model, but there was no improvement; I saw that my classmates invited lactation specialists in their friends circle, which would help with milk production, so I immediately called to invite them, but the effect was not great; I was afraid that the baby would not suck the nipple after feeding milk powder, and It’s easy to get nipple confusion, and I refuse to add milk powder to my baby (at that time, milk powder was no different from poison in my eyes)… The feeling of powerlessness that you can’t do without hard work makes people trapped in the quagmire! \”You know, little Weiwei (the girl next door) has so much milk that the whole family uses it to wash their faces and feet.\” When my mother said this, I felt very sad when I looked at my skinny son. It weighs 7 kilograms, but after the full moon, it only weighed 2 taels. The doctor said that it was because he didn\’t eat enough every day! ! No wonder he slept so restlessly, and I also blamed him for being naughty. I love him, but I can\’t even provide him with enough food and clothing. 3. \”I didn\’t have much milk at that time, and I had to work, so I was under a lot of pressure. He ran out of milk when he was a month old!\” My mother-in-law said that my husband was even more pitiful when he was a child. Milk powder was scarce at that time and it was difficult to make milk. After feeding him in a daze and haphazardly, his height and brain developed quite well. \”Don\’t be so hard on yourself, the milk powder nowadays is very nutritious.\” Fortunately, my mother-in-law had a similar experience, and the invisible pressure around her was not too great. But once a person is trapped in that endless loop, comfort is just comfort, and everything is gone. Only when you understand it and accept it happily can you open your heart. On the day when the baby turned 42 days old, I held him for a physical examination. The first thing the doctor said was, why are you raising him? So thin that my bones are sticking out. \”The little one must be hungry.\” I broke down and cried instantly. I probably saw too much, but she understood immediately, \”You need to breastfeed.\”Yes, I hope that the baby will have better nutrition, but no matter what, we can\’t let him go hungry. Fully is the basis (yes, no wonder his diapers didn\’t need to be changed for a long time, but he didn\’t even eat) , the second is to choose better. Milk powder is not bad. When breast milk is not enough, you still need to add more. If the baby doesn\’t eat enough, he will not sleep well, which will affect his growth. \”The doctor\’s words woke me up, but such a simple truth was completely unexpected to me who was thinking \”I must achieve full breast milk\” at that time. After Si\’s collapse, I finally thought clearly: I didn\’t eat enough. Everything was in vain. Finally, I put down my phone and stopped browsing various webpages for milk production. I closed the book and stopped thinking. I relaxed and my milk supply was more, but of course it was still not enough. I started to dare to add milk powder to my son and looked at the little guy. After drinking it, I slept very soundly and peacefully. I really felt that I was too stupid for a while. Fortunately, it was not too late. Soon, his height and weight returned to the right track. Moreover, the nipple confusion that he was worried about before did not appear, and he was very happy. Give me face, even though it is much more tiring than drinking milk powder, he still sucks my neinei vigorously. Being sensitive, I think he is really sensible! I persisted until 6 months, and I was weaned. If it didn\’t work, I stopped forcing it. Although I went to When I go to a friend\’s house and see her milk in the freezer, I will still feel envious. If I hear a mother complain about the trouble of \”too much milk\”, I will still feel a little \”uncomfortable\”… Now, when I think about this experience again after more than two years, the pain still exists, not because I did not achieve full breast milk, but because I feel it is a pity: because of my \”extremism\”, I delayed my son\’s important first month. Growing up. I love him, but there are bound to be regrets on the way to growing up with him. So, dear mothers, don’t be too demanding if you can get full breast milk. I remember that Liu Kaiwei was once asked about Yang Misheng in an interview. After asking whether the child would be breastfed, his answer was this: Just let nature take its course, it’s fine. I grew up drinking milk powder and it was fine. Yes, we love him/her very much, and babies are very smart. , they understand, they understand, it is enough that you have tried your best.