• Sat. Dec 2nd, 2023

Is there a way in the world? Not only can you earn money to support your family, but you can also accompany your children to grow up.

This is a sad WeChat conversation with readers. She asked me: Do you think I should call my children every day? Or don’t fight every day? I said: If possible, of course it would be best to keep in touch every day. I asked: Why don\’t you take the child with you? She said: We are the lowest level of migrant workers. If we want to spend time with our children, we can\’t make money; if we want to make money, we don\’t have time to spend with our children. Across the screen, the unstoppable sadness filled the air. When I replied to this WeChat message, Erniu was waiting outside the school gate for her class to finish. At that time, it was dusk, and the children were like tired birds jumping into the forest, chirping happily, running towards their parents who were waiting at the school gate, and then chatting and laughing, they walked home together. Such a picture is warm and sweet, full of warm affection. The daughter mentioned in this WeChat message can only walk more than ten miles of mountain road alone in the morning and evening to go to and from school. The pain in the body can be dissipated, but the pain in the heart accumulates over time. It is written in \”Li Sao\”: Don\’t be sad, be sad, be separated. Separation, separation, how painful is it? In fact, except for the parties involved, none of us can have a deeper understanding. But as a mother, I can imagine how pitiful the child who stayed in his hometown and looked forward to his mother\’s return day and night felt. I can also understand the dilemma that this mother, who works hard outside but misses her daughter all the time, would have. In order to earn a living, a mother and daughter who were supposed to stay together day and night could only endure such sad separation and deep yearning. In this world, there will always be some unfairness, and there will always be some children who experience the pain of separation more than others. At a young age, when other children were still acting coquettishly in their parents\’ arms and enjoying their parents\’ company day and night, they could only grit their teeth and be forced to adapt to the days without their parents. The long-term absence of their parents and the serious lack of family affection made their childhood and youth not as colorful and sweet as other children\’s. For young people, their parents\’ love is a mirage and the brightest star in the night sky, but they are all elusive and out of reach. Every night when I miss my parents is sad; every phone greeting from my parents is empty; every time I see other people\’s mothers and sons and fathers walking hand in hand, I am envious. Equally sad and envious are their parents who are making money in other places. Coming from a humble background, in order to be a responsible parent, one must be able to provide children with not only material satisfaction, but also spiritual and psychological satisfaction. It is inevitable to be in a dilemma. Therefore, they can only choose to leave their children with their elderly parents against their will and go to work in other places. However, children who grow up without their parents, no matter how good they are, are destined to be alienated, lonely, sad, and full of insecurity. As we grow older, some of the negative impacts caused by being left behind will become more severe year by year. I often wonder: Is there a way in this world that can not only make money to support the family, but also accompany the children to grow up? Maybe, but for parents who have to make a living, I\’m afraid not. The 2017 \”White Paper on the Psychological Conditions of Left-behind Children in China\” showed that according to my country\’s compulsory education stage, 4,000 rural primary and secondary school studentsEstimating the total number of students in the country, the total number of left-behind students reaches 23 million. In other words, more than half of the primary and secondary school students in rural China are left-behind children. Behind every cold data are the tears and hope of a child, as well as the helplessness and sadness of a pair of parents. I remembered that a long time ago, I saw a long post on Zhihu about the experience of left-behind children. It said: One time, my parents said they wanted to come back to see me. From the day I heard the news, I sat in the yard and looked at the buses on the road. When I noticed that the bus seemed to be slowing down, I held my breath, and when it passed in front of me, I was filled with disappointment. However, after a few steps, it seemed to stop, and I regained hope. But in the end, it was discovered that it was not the parents who got off the bus. For a child, this kind of emotional and mental torture is painful and cruel. I\’m not trying to say what is the right choice when faced with such an existential dilemma, no. Everyone\’s origin, environment, family, and some of the decisions he makes make sense. What I want to say is: Dear parents, we never know which one will come first, tomorrow or the accident. Life is not as long as we think. Our time with our children isn’t that long either. Children\’s growth rate is very fast and short! It’s so late that you can clearly see the child’s childhood appearance, but he has already grown into a handsome young man; it’s so late that you are still thinking about how he stood up for the first time, but he is already walking as fast as the wind. …..Children always grow up day by day, and then they will also leave us. If possible, choose to take your children with you as much as possible. Children grow up very quickly, only ten years or so. Just think that these ten years are just for fun in this world. Don’t think about earning more or getting more. Only when your children grow up well is it really good. Money is enough, but the growth of children is more important. If not, then you should have contact every day and tell your child that you love him, care about him, and are always thinking of him. Try your best, under limited conditions, to take more time and go home often to see your children. It’s difficult to know whether you have time or not until you do some things. Erniu has a classmate whose father works in Shanghai. For the sake of his children, he rushes back every Friday night to spend a happy weekend with his children. Then rush back on Sunday night. For ten years, no matter what happened, there was no interruption. Because he insists on not working overtime on weekends, he has not been promoted for many years, but he said that he has no regrets because his children are the best achievement in his life. Everyone\’s time and energy are limited, and if you focus on one, you will inevitably lose the other. Raising children, working, and family all occupy different proportions in a person\’s daily time. Everyone wants everything to be perfect: a good job and a lot of money; a well-behaved, smart and outstanding child; a happy family and everything going well. No, it can never be achieved. As parents, as children, and as employees, what we need to do is to make wise choices based on our real needs, and be willing to accept the pressure that this choice brings. Those who can both earn money to support their families andThe myth of being able to accompany children as they grow up is just an ancient fantasy. Of course it’s important to spend time with your children, but it certainly doesn’t seem possible without money. But in life, there are always choices and gains. No?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *