• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

It’s not grades that determine a child’s life, but these 5 things

For a rural family with five generations of farmers, having a child finally admitted to college is a major event that makes him stand out. Villagers from all over the country are jealous, and the whole family seems to have grasped a straw that changes their destiny. , full of hope and expectation. However, a few years after his son entered college, the 60-year-old father suddenly discovered that everything was different from what he thought. He was heartbroken again and again. In desperation, he confided to the reporter: \”Why is my son here?\” Didn\’t you learn about conscience in college?\” On the day of college entrance, the old father sent his son to report. After a night\’s train ride, he was tired and tired. The old father walked behind him with his heavy luggage on his back, and his son, who was relaxed, led the way. After arriving at the dormitory, my son was busy looking around the new environment. The 60-year-old father, on the other hand, was busy making beds, hanging mosquito nets, and cleaning seats… In the eyes of his son and the old father, all of this was so natural. After school started, the whole family looked forward to their son’s call and to tell them about the latest news in college. However, throughout the semester, my son only took the initiative to call home three times, and each time the content was very brief – asking for money. Even though the 60-year-old father had to go to the construction site in the town to carry bricks and mix cement, and even though the mother only paid 5 yuan to take care of the children for a day, it was important for the son to go to college, so the couple sent the money to their son without even thinking about it. Suddenly one winter, my son called home very frequently and asked for five or six thousand. The father was surprised: \”Is it so expensive to go to college now?\” Later, after people inquired, I found out that his son had a girlfriend, all kinds of flattering gifts, Starbucks, Express Hotel… very cool and unrestrained. What finally made the old father unbearable was that when his son came home and took out the payment bill for next semester, he actually stole the amount and wanted to get more money from the family… When facing the reporter, the 60-year-old father looked melancholy: \”I know that family scandals should not be made public, but I feel really frustrated and troubled! My son, who used to have such good grades, didn\’t even learn any conscience in college?\”… Above is Youma. I read a report before. At that time, I felt sad for the 60-year-old father in the article. He also lamented: \”Nowadays, there are rotten universities everywhere. I really don’t know what they teach. Even the gratitude of the students recently is… Poor training.\” But now think about it, a \”good student\” in the eyes of parents eventually turns into a wolf who is ungrateful and well-deserved for his parents\’ hard work. The school must be to blame, but the parents are really Don\’t you have any responsibility? When their children grow up, many mothers will complain that they are lazy and don’t know how to take care of their personal hygiene. But when the child was young, he was not even allowed to wash a small sock. When their children grow up, many mothers complain that their children are bored and unable to communicate. But when the children were young, they were not allowed to do anything except sit at home and do homework… When it comes to their children\’s education, most parents think of \”developing their intelligence\”, \”enrolling in interest classes\” and \”memorizing materials before first grade\”. \”300 Tang Poems\” and \”Target Tsinghua and Peking University\”… It seems that if we don\’t do this, children will not be able to become talented and will be abandoned by society. However, too many cases remind us that focusing only on grades is the biggest misunderstanding of family education! Take a step back and say, even if your grades are not good when you are young, you can make up for it with diligence, good words, and good popularity when you grow up; but on the other hand, if your personality, speech, communication, and character are not good when you are young, no matter how good your grades are, your child will not be able to leave. Far. As Mr. Cai Yuanpei, the former president of Peking University, said in \”The Cultivation of Chinese People\”: What determines a child\’s life is not scores, but a sound personality. What does \”sound personality cultivation\” mean? Key point 1: Cultivate children\’s humor and optimistic attitude. Whether in study or life, a child\’s energy is limited, and there are only so many things he can concentrate on completing. However, some children are always \”small-minded\” and \”not strong and optimistic enough\”. When they encounter troubles in study and life, they are easily anxious and anxious. The emotions of \”anxiety\” and \”anxiety\” will consume a lot of energy of the child, making the child unintentional to do serious things. Some children fail in an exam and lock themselves in the room, crying and sulking. They don\’t want to study, talk, or eat. This state may even last for several days. A lot of time that could have been spent regrouping and making persistent efforts was wasted in a bad mood of blaming others. Therefore, cultivating children\’s optimistic and positive emotions and allowing them to learn to face small setbacks in study and life calmly is the first step to growth. A better way is to cultivate children\’s sense of humor and use a relaxed and humorous conversation atmosphere to reduce stress and encourage them. For example, if a child does not do well in a math test, the father can pull the child over and say with a smile: \”Son, your math skills are a bit inherited from your father and me! I also got 25 points in the test back then, but was dragged to the playground by the math teacher. Lying on the floor and correcting wrong questions, haha! However, your father and I still have some backbone, and I slowly caught up. Let me tell you what I did…\” Key point 2: Let children learn to be grateful and tolerant. A child who does not know how to be \”grateful\” will never grow up, because he has no sense of responsibility and responsibility in his heart, and lacks internal and lasting motivation to do things. When a child becomes an adult, what supports him to continue studying and working despite various difficulties is often the belief in his heart of \”repaying his parents\” and \”being responsible for his family.\” And those who hold an indifferent attitude towards their family and friends are always prone to give up and just get by. So, how can we cultivate children’s gratitude? The best way is to let your children experience your hard work – doing housework. Research from educational institutions shows that children who often did housework when they were young generally have much higher academic performance after school and salary levels after work than children who do not do housework! Therefore, if you give the mop to your child, he will know that mopping the floor can cause back pain, and he will no longer mind that your mopping hinders his playing games; if you teach your child about dirty socks, he will realize that his own socks are like this If it smells bad, you won\’t throw it on the ground and pull it up in the future; if you leave the schoolbag to your child to pack, he won\’t always be sloppy and disorganized. Key point 3: Develop a correct view of money. My nephew is in junior high school. He is a little short-sighted and needs glasses. His father suddenly had the idea to train his child\’s money management skills, so he gave the child his credit card and asked him to buy glasses by himself, and also told him to negotiate the price. After half a day,My nephew came back with glasses. A pair of glasses cost 2,000 yuan… It was obvious that he was deceived. His father angrily took his child to an optical shop to argue, and they argued for a long time, but to no avail… In fact, it is very necessary for children to realize from an early age that \”how much money can sell a lot of things\” and \”making money is not easy\”, not only can children avoid Spending money indiscriminately and being cheated can also teach children to summarize and make plans. Some people say, \”The earlier a child understands and learns to use money, the more money he will be able to make when he grows up.\” This is not unreasonable. A good place for children to practice understanding and using money correctly is in the supermarket. Before every time you go shopping in the supermarket, make a list with your children, and then purchase according to the list when you go to the supermarket. This can not only save time, but also reduce many \”unreasonable demands\” from your children. After all, you can tell your children with confidence: \”The list is for us to make together.\” We made it, right? We didn’t plan to buy this toy in the beginning, and we didn’t have enough money, right? If you really want it, we can put it in the list when we go shopping next time, but it really won’t work this time…\” Key point 4 Speak well and develop good communication habits. The first impression of a child may be his appearance and clothing, but what is truly impressive and interesting is actually the child\’s speech and behavior. If a child can proactively and skillfully use polite language and behave enthusiastically when facing new partners and classmates, he can gain the other party\’s trust well and build good relationships. If a child respects others in his speech and behavior when interacting with others, he will also be able to win the respect and help of others. Whether in study or life, it will be relatively smooth. You must know that teamwork is always much better than working alone. Key point 5: Let children learn the necessary self-protection. There is nothing more important than cherishing life than the health and safety of children. Any safety accident or violent incident can break up a family that is originally full of expectations. Especially today, when child abuse and school violence are very serious, it is particularly important to give children some tips on self-protection and coping with emergencies. For example, don’t let anyone touch your private parts when you leave the house. If it happens, you must tell your mother when you get home; if an unknown classmate calls you to come outside the school gate, you must not listen to them and tell the teacher and teacher immediately. Parents: When crossing the road, the green light is not on, even if everyone is walking, you cannot follow the crowd…

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