• Sat. Dec 9th, 2023

Learn to show weakness, your parenting will be easier and your children will be better


Oct 1, 2023

While taking a walk for dinner, I met Sister Lin next door, sitting alone on a bench to relax. \”It\’s rare to see you alone. Aren\’t Lele and Tiantian together today?\” I asked. \”Don\’t mention it, I was so angry with these two mythical beasts that I ran away. I said you can live it on your own, don\’t come to me if anything happens in the future, just treat me as if you don\’t have a mother! As a result, my son actually told me to go wherever he likes! I was pregnant for ten months and went through all kinds of hardships to develop these two evil obstacles. I have been thinking about it for half a day, what did I do wrong to let them treat me like this?\” I asked her what happened, and Sister Lin took a deep breath and tried to He calmed down and said: \”We are already in the first and second grade of junior high school. The two of them don\’t even know how to wash their underwear. Every time they change clothes, I prepare them and put them on the bedside before changing them. Today I am busy with other things and let them do it by themselves.\” I\’m looking for clothes to change, but the result is that I don\’t like it and slander me. I\’m really fed up!\” Sister Lin has a pair of excellent children. Yes, they are two children who study well and are always among the top three in the class. Sports, singing, painting, piano… The family conditions are good, so the two children have many talents and are popular figures in the school. But the two children have one characteristic, in Sister Lin’s words: they are cold-natured. In fact, it is not that the child is \”cold\”, the problem lies with Sister Lin herself. My brother started washing his own socks when he was about 4 years old. He helped me wash dishes and clean the house when he was 7 years old. Now when I go out, he usually carries the handbag. Sister Lin, on the other hand, took all the work on herself and wanted to take care of the children even when they went to the toilet. It is normal to feel physically and mentally exhausted under such high-intensity exertion. Recommended classic parenting books: Zheng Yefu\’s Educational Pathology in China pdf download \”Being strong as a mother\” If you want to separate things, you often hear the saying \”Women are weak, but strong as a mother\”. Indeed, after becoming a mother, women begin to have She has fulfilled her own responsibilities. She is no longer a daughter or a lover, but has given birth to a life and needs to take on the responsibility of raising and nurturing her. Because of this sentence, mothers feel that they should become stronger to protect their children\’s growth. In fact, \”Being strong as a mother\” means dividing things up between children, not being strong in everything. For example, when a child is crying for food and cannot do anything by himself, then no matter how tired he is, you need to put the child\’s needs first; if he can already do some things by himself, the mother should withdraw appropriately and give up the initiative. Leave it to the child. If the child reaches the age of independence and the mother still uses the motto \”Be strong as a mother\” to help the child do things, this is a dereliction of duty on the part of the mother. I especially like Huo Siyan\’s view on parenting. In front of her son Uhm, she is more often like a little girl who can\’t take care of herself and needs Uhm\’s help. And even though Uhm is only a few years old, he knows how to take care of his mother very well, both emotionally and in life. Do you think Huo Siyan only has this side in front of her son? No, when it\’s time to educate Hmm, she will stand as a mother and work with her husband to guide some of her son\’s behaviors. Only when couples cooperate in raising children will the public see a sensible person on the show. In parenting, knowing how to show weakness can \”win\”. In addition to \”being strong as a mother\” and dividing things up, I think parents also need to know how to show weakness with their children. 1. Know how to show weakness, childLast year, among the lively crowd, there was a mother who stood out. The child let go of his mother\’s hand and walked forward alone. As a mother, she did not grab the child and angrily scold him for running around. Instead, she stamped her feet and said to her young son: \”Don\’t you care about me? I can\’t walk by myself.\” \”The baby who heard his mother\’s words immediately returned and led his mother forward together. The mother will naturally leave, but she uses \”showing weakness\” to guide the children. Don\’t leave the mother behind when there are many people. This way the children realize that they cannot run around and realize that the mother needs to be taken care of. I will care more about my mother. Smart parents are like this. By showing weakness quietly, they can correct the behavior of \”naughty children\” in time. 2. Children who know how to show weakness are braver Fu Seoul’s parenting style has always been liked by many people. When she was participating in a program called \”Don\’t Look Down on Me,\” she took a child up a mountain to reach the mission point. Mountain climbing on a hot day makes children very irritable and will give up after a while. Fu Seoul looked at the chattering Lei Lei, sat down on the ground and said, \”I don\’t want to leave either.\” Looking at Fu Seoul on the ground, Lei Lei felt at a loss for a moment, and then immediately shouted: \”No, you have to Persistence.\” Fu Seoul took advantage of the situation and completed the summit mission together with Lei Lei. In children\’s minds, acting like a spoiled brat is their way of making adults compromise. Once you adopt this method, the roles will be reversed. Children will become adults, braver and stronger. This kind of show of weakness makes the ending get twice the result with half the effort. 3. Know how to show weakness and make children more confident. Most of the parents in life are strong and put pressure on their children as parents. If children are allowed to see that parents also have a \”weak\” side, it will actually enhance their self-confidence. 4. Children who know how to show weakness are more independent. Whether it is the hum in the variety show or the anecdotes shared by Fu Seoul about his son, you can feel the independence of these two children. From thoughts to actions, they are more \”more independent\” than their peers. \”mature\”. On the other hand, those children who have everything arranged well will be like Sister Lin\’s children, who will not prepare their own clothes for junior high school, and adults will be like Sister Lin, exhausted both physically and mentally and without the attention of their children. . Showing weakness must be measured. Some netizens said: \”I showed weakness to my child, but he said I was a fool.\” In this case, either the child is embarrassed to act coquettishly in the face of the parent\’s show of weakness, or the parent shows weakness too much and fails to grasp the right balance. Showing weakness can help children grow better, but you should not show weakness too much. If you tell your children that you can\’t do everything, the consequences will be disastrous. First of all, children will be mentally stressed. If you show \”I can\’t, I can\’t\” in front of your children, believe me, this will not help them grow better, but will put heavy mental pressure on them. Maybe during class, he would be thinking, \”Can parents do it themselves?\” Secondly, they will be disappointed in their parents. When children are young, the image of parents in their children\’s minds is great, and they will especially admire their parents, which will give their children more confidence. If you show weakness too much and show your own incompetence, the child will be disappointed. You may not sympathize, but you may feelIt\’s very troublesome for parents. Showing weakness is a method, a routine, so that children can grow independently and confidently in their own territory without relying on their parents. Rather than always showing weakness and forcing the child to do anything, as the saying goes \”Too many words lead to mistakes\”, if a certain method is used too much, it will be ineffective. Parenting message: Learn to show weakness to your children appropriately, so that you will be a relaxed parent, and your children will grow up more confidently. Children in the 21st century need adults to let go and show weakness.

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