• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

\”Mom, are you going to die?\” This is the best answer I have ever seen

Yesterday, after my daughter knew the meaning of Qingming Festival, she blinked her big eyes and asked me, \”Mom, why do people die? Where do they go after they die? Will we all die in the future?\” I was stunned for a moment. Many parents have this experience. Whenever our children ask questions about \”death,\” we don\’t know how to answer, or we just avoid talking about it. We worry that our children will be scared, frightened, and unable to accept it after learning the truth about death. . Avoiding death is not just a contemporary social phenomenon. In fact, we have been avoiding talking about \”death\” since ancient times. Confucius said: If you don’t know life, how can you know death? In \”Qi Pa Shuo\”, Ma Dong once said, \”How to face life and death is a missing lesson in our Chinese culture.\” However, as a mother, I feel more and more deeply that I am not afraid of my children knowing at all. \”Death\”, what I am most afraid of is that the child does not know \”death\”. It is precisely because of the lack of a deep understanding of death that many children go astray and hurt others and themselves, causing a series of tragedies. The previous \”Blue Whale\” death game, which caused a sensation in the world, involved mostly children between the ages of 10 and 14. After entering the game, they accepted various \”brainwashing\” challenges, harmed themselves, and finally committed suicide, triggering hundreds of teenagers around the world. Fighting to commit suicide. Statistics show that suicide has become the number one cause of death for teenagers under the age of 18. A survey conducted by the Shanghai Municipal Education Commission pointed out that among a sample of 2,500 primary and secondary school students, 5.85% of the children had made suicide plans, 1.71% of the children had attempted suicide, and 34.39% of the children had said that \”living is worse than life\”. It’s better to die” idea. Behind these cold data are living lives. If these children could have a sense of reverence for death and cherish life when they encounter frustration, confusion, despair, and have the urge to end their lives, then maybe the tragedy will not happen. We are willing to devote everything we have to educating children how to learn, how to live, and how to love, but we have neglected to teach children about life and death. We all owe our children a \”death education\” lesson. Bai Yansong once said: \”China has never had real death education.\” When an old man passes away and a child suddenly asks us what death is with eyes full of doubts, the answers we usually give are ambiguous, and these answers are not helpful. The child\’s knowledge of death may even mislead the child. When I was a child, my parents protected me by isolating me from death in the hope that I would be safe from it. Before my grandfather passed away, my parents took me to visit him. My grandfather was lying on the bed, his legs slowly pedaling. I smiled and asked, \”Grandpa, are you exercising?\” I didn\’t know that side. It was my farewell to my grandfather. When I later learned that my grandfather had passed away, as a young child, in addition to being sad, I also felt very \”angry\”. Why didn\’t you tell me that grandpa was seriously ill? Why did grandpa die? Not being able to accompany my grandfather on his final journey has become an eternal pain in my heart. Image source: \”Wedding Dress\” There is nothing right or wrong in this way of protecting children from death. What really hurts my heart is the lack of death education. About how to treat childrenThere is no absolutely right answer for death education, because each child’s temperament, thoughts and growth environment are different, so the death education for children varies from person to person. The following methods can be used as a reference. The video \”Little Boy\’s Pet Goldfish Funeral\” was once popular on the Internet to encourage children to say goodbye to their \”friends\” and improve their tolerance to death. In the video, a cute little boy walked into the bathroom holding a dead goldfish to say goodbye to his goldfish friend. He kissed the goldfish and put it in the toilet. Before the goldfish was washed away, the little boy acted very calmly. But when the goldfish was washed away, he realized that his friend would never come back. In an instant I collapsed and cried my heart out. Although this farewell process may temporarily make children feel sad, it also allows them to realize that death is a natural law. There was another little boy who sent away his goldfish friend in a similar way, but he was obviously more mature in the face of death. He prayed to the goldfish seriously and sent it away calmly after saying \”Amen\”. My good friend left. The children in the video are cute and brave. I can\’t help but want to applaud them. At the same time, I admire the parents and education methods behind the children. Let children understand and face death through real life experiences, which can improve children\’s tolerance to death. Let children understand \”death\” through picture books or movies. In the picture book \”Grandpa Became a Ghost\”, the little boy Aspen\’s grandfather passed away, but because there was still something unfinished, he turned into a ghost and wandered around. Picture source: Picture book \”Grandpa Becomes a Ghost\” In order to help grandpa remember that important thing, Aspen and grandpa recalled the happy memories of the past, going to the amusement park, making faces, fishing… In the end, grandpa discovered that he was Forgot to say goodbye to Aspen. When grandpa said goodbye, he quietly disappeared. In the process, Aspen also learned to correctly understand death and understood that death is a process that we must go through. PS: Search for \”Grandpa turned into a ghost\” in \”Uncle Kai Storytelling App\” and relevant stories will pop up~ Life has a beginning and an end, just like flowers blooming and falling, when the time is up, you should let it happen naturally leave. The movie \”Coco\” that moved countless people to tears is also an excellent representative of death education. Picture source: \”Coco\” The little boy Miguel strays into the fantasy and magnificent world of the dead. There, little Miguel knows that a person will continue to live in the world of the dead after death, as long as the living relatives do not forget the deceased and die. People can return to the living world to visit their relatives on Day of the Dead. If their loved ones living in this world forget them, they are truly dead. Death is not the end, oblivion is. Although some people may seem to have left us forever, as long as we do not forget the good things we once had together, the departed relatives will continue to accompany us in another way. Picture source: \”Coco\” Special Death Education Course: Suicide Defense Class Suicide defense classes have been very popular in the United States since the 1980s and have achieved very good results. The suicide rates in California and New JerseyAfter the course was launched, they dropped by 39% and 51% respectively. In order to teach children how to control their emotions and improve their communication skills, teachers sometimes ask children to write a letter to persuade their classmates not to commit suicide. In the process of writing the letter, the children will clearly understand the dangers of suicide and the dangers of life. valuable. Image source: \”Black Mirror\” Parents can also positively guide their children in life through the following methods. 1. Strengthen the management of dangerous items in life 2. Discover children’s abnormal emotions in a timely manner 3. Educate children on their outlook on life 4. Create a good family atmosphere. Death education for children of different ages should be carried out in a graded and step-by-step manner. Infants and young children have no clear concept of death and cannot understand the meaning of death. At this stage, we can use things around the child to simulate death and gradually expose the child to the concept of death. Preschool children have a very strong desire to explore and imitate. At this time, the first thing we need to do in death education is to let the children learn to protect themselves and cultivate their safety awareness. Children at this stage will have many bizarre imaginations about death and begin to have anxiety about death. Therefore, we should not scare children when educating them about death. This will aggravate children\’s anxiety and fear of death. Children who have gone to school have already reached a certain height in spirit and thinking, and have a certain understanding of death. When we answer questions about death, we must start from a scientific perspective and let children look at death from a scientific perspective. this matter. Correct and effective death education will benefit children throughout their lives, allowing them to spend their childhood smoothly and safely, and face life calmly and positively. Only by understanding the meaning of death can we understand the value of life; only by understanding the value of life can we understand the true meaning of life…

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