• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

My child, even if you are not good, you still deserve to be loved.

A mother said that one time her son got into a fight with a friend. I saw that my son had snatched someone else\’s toy first, so he had a serious expression on his face when he passed by. When the son saw his mother\’s face, he burst into tears. \”Apologise, kid. If you want to play with it, you have to get the permission of the owner of the toy!\” The son just cried and didn\’t speak. I was unhappy that afternoon. She thought the child was in a bad mood because she didn\’t grab the toy when she was trying to grab it. Unexpectedly, after telling the story at night, I was about to go to bed. The son pulled her and asked seriously: \”Mom, if I don\’t behave, will you still love me?\” She was surprised at that time. The little child had been depressed for a long time because he was afraid of losing his mother\’s love. \”Of course I love you. If you don\’t behave, your mother will love you too.\” \”What about if I fight?\” the child asked again. \”Of course it\’s not good for you to fight. Mom doesn\’t want you to do this, but it doesn\’t affect her love for you.\” He still remembers reading \”David Can\’t\” with Xiao Xiaoyu when he was only three years old. I had the same conversation with him. He liked the troublemaker the most at that time, and every time he read it at the end when his mother held the troublemaker David. He always smiles happily. Because here, after children read it, even if they are not good, their parents will love them. I will also tell him, baby, even if you are not good, I still love you, love you very much, and will always protect you. Later, I read \”In the Wild Country\” with him. The troublemaker Max in it was even worse than David. He even thought about leaving home and going on an adventure. Because we cannot keep our children with us all the time. However, one day, the child missed his mother\’s cooking and felt homesick. The hot meal at the end tells the children that love is always there no matter when they look back. As a parent, you must really do it, see the inner reality of your child, and meet his emotional needs. What am I really like? What do I think of me in the eyes of my parents? In the first few years after a child is born, such as when he is more than two years old, his self-awareness is very obvious. They discovered \”self\”. I am different from my mother. I am myself. I can say no. But who is \”I\”? Am I smart or stupid? Am I welcome, or am I hated? As their psychology continues to grow, they will continue to discover these answers. Ideas slowly form. I\’m such a stupid person, because my parents always say that about me. I\’m just ugly and bad because my brothers and sisters say that about me. I am a person who loves to lose my temper. I am very irritable and cannot control myself. Even many years later, I will still carry this concept and live with low self-esteem. In their first few years, children try to form relationships with other people. Of course, for a child, it means saying hello or smiling at you. He observes your expressions and movements to see if his expression is correct. If a child smiles at you, but you are indifferent and ignore him. He will wonder why his parents are like this. Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough? If parents or caregivers can meet the child\’s psychological needs. Children will also trust the people around them when they grow up. I will also regard this world asCreate a safe world that you can explore with confidence. In \”Good Will Hunting\”, the protagonist Will is a very smart but rebellious big boy. Instead of going to college, he worked as a janitor at MIT. No one will pay attention to this hopeless wandering young man. Once, mathematics professor Rambo wrote a math problem on the bulletin board that no one could solve, but Will easily solved it. Rambo discovered this genius and decided to help him. It turns out that Will\’s inner world cannot be opened at all, and he still chooses to live a rebellious and unruly life. Professor Rambo found psychiatrist Sean, hoping to help Will through psychological counseling. Sean discovered Will\’s unfortunate childhood: he was brutally abused by his adoptive father, and was eventually abandoned and became an orphan. The scary thing is that he always feels that it is his fault and that he is not worthy of love. So he closed off his true self. Preferring to stay in painful situations, intentionally or unintentionally preventing others from helping them. Even deliberately irritating others and subsequently making yourself feel hurt, frustrated, or humiliated. When Professor Sean went through several consultations with no results, the ice in Will\’s heart began to melt until one day he said, \”Kid, it\’s not your fault.\” But he still resisted. He felt that Professor Sean had touched his heart, but he didn\’t know how to express it. I could only push the doctor away angrily. But Sean said over and over again: \”Kid, it\’s not your fault.\” Finally, Will\’s heart was completely opened. He began to break through his past self and say goodbye to his past. Professor Sean said, \”Kid, it\’s not your fault.\” Although I arrived so many years late, I was lucky enough to meet him. If Will had not met Professor Sean and just continued to mingle at the bottom of society, he would have only seen the genius being ruthlessly buried. But many children have the same past as Will. It seems like whatever mistakes I make are my fault. If your academic performance is not good, your parents will lose their temper and tell people behind your back that you have a stupid child. When a child makes a mistake, he is severely punished, regardless of the reason. \”If you are obedient, work hard, and get good grades, we will love you!\” \”If you are not obedient, if your grades are not good, you are useless!\” You are not worthy of love. When love comes with conditions and the child cannot meet your conditions. They will feel inferior, choose to escape, and give up on themselves. In fact, every child hopes that he can become the favorite person of his parents at the beginning. They long for a close relationship with their parents. I also hope that parents can love each other. Once their parents make noises often, they will think it is their fault. In such a family, children are under great pressure. Why can\’t we love our children properly, without any conditions? Why can\’t children feel that they are worthy of love and respect? If a child feels love and respect from an early age, his life will not be like this. Remember to respond to your child\’s needs and make him feel worthy of love. We become parents, but there are still some lingering psychological shadows from childhood. An unhappy adult certainly doesn’t want to see another unhappy child. Then accept the child and respect the child. When they feel they are worthy of being loved and respected. will create a kind of self in the heartRecognize and feel that you are a \”capable person\” and \”a person worthy of being loved.\” This will develop self-confidence. Instead of becoming inferior and indifferent in your blame and indifference. I remember when I first started reading \”The Runaway Rabbit\” with Xiao Xiaoyu. I also thought that this rabbit mother was too strict and always followed her children. But the little guy likes this feeling very much. Because when children are young, they long to be with their parents, especially when they are naughty. Will my parents not leave me? Will you still love me? If one day you tell him, \”When you grow up, you will be separated from your parents.\” They are unwilling to accept this fact, because growing up is too far away, and separation seems scary. After reading it carefully, you will find that the mother rabbit is actually the watcher. When your children need you most, they may appear naughty or resist your discipline. Because they start to have themselves. But we can choose to watch: we will not control you, but we will protect you as you grow older. Will respond to your need for love. What can be more powerful for a child\’s heart than the warm love of his or her parents? Now, Xiao Xiaoyu will say to himself: \”When I grow up, will I be able to live independently?\” \”Yes!\” He no longer has the worries and fears he had before. Because his heart is slowly becoming stronger.

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