• Mon. Dec 4th, 2023

New Year\’s Day is here again, do you want to give gifts to teachers?

Every time Teachers\’ Day, New Year\’s Day, Spring Festival, May Day, and National Day come, parents have a particularly heated discussion: Should we give gifts to teachers? Don\’t give it away, because you are afraid that the teacher will not pay attention to your child, or even look down on the child. Give it away, it’s a headache just to give it. Flowers may be too ordinary, jewelry may be too expensive, and money may be too vulgar. And after giving it away, I don’t know what the effect will be. What if the teacher doesn\’t like it? What if the teacher is particularly upright and doesn’t want to accept gifts? What if the teacher accepts it and doesn’t take it seriously? The most \”thoughtful\” tricks I\’ve seen are: using double-sided tape to stick shopping cards inside greeting cards; sending bags with invoices, and you can get a refund if you don\’t like them; buying things in micro-stores opened by teachers and relatives; giving gifts to children Bring it over (so the teacher will be embarrassed to refuse)… It\’s really heartbreaking. However, when parents are so entangled in giving gifts, have they ever thought about how teachers feel? Teachers don’t like receiving gifts that much. My parents have devoted themselves to teaching for thirty years, and some of my classmates have become teachers. According to my observation, teachers are actually very embarrassed about receiving gifts. Nowadays, many schools, every holiday eve, will increase the supervision and punishment of teachers receiving gifts. If teachers are forced to accept gifts, it will actually cause them trouble. There are often similar news on Teacher\’s Day, saying that a teacher did not dare to go home/stay in a hotel/take annual leave/return to her parents\’ home to avoid giving gifts. She was afraid of being chased by enthusiastic parents and was too embarrassed to refuse. So what happens if you don’t give a gift? Let’s first talk about one of the issues that parents are most concerned about: If they don’t give gifts, will the teacher have a bad attitude towards the children? Except for a few weird teachers, most teachers with normal psychology do not need to give expensive gifts. As long as they express their gratitude sincerely, they will be very happy. Even if gratitude is not expressed, the teacher will not discriminate against the child. why? Because teachers are really busy, usually having to take care of dozens of children every day. Maybe you lack time to take care of your own children, so remembering to discriminate against a specific child of another family requires extra thought, right? There simply isn\’t that time. Being reasonable is the best gift for teachers. Let’s talk about the second question that parents are most concerned about: If a gift is given, will the teacher take special care of the child? I talked to Teacher Xu, who previously talked about \”There is an anxiety that makes other people\’s children attend remedial classes\”, and asked her how she felt when receiving gifts: HeyMom: Do parents usually give you gifts? What are you giving? Teacher Xu: Yes, I received a large bouquet of blue beauties on Teacher\’s Day, and I was completely stunned… Normally, children would occasionally bring me food and say, \”Teacher, let me try this~\” HeyMom: Are you happy? Teacher Xu: I am very touched. I am also worried that this will be too troublesome for parents, which is a bit embarrassing. HeyMom: Do you take special care of the children who bring you gifts? Teacher Xu: Classes and homework corrections are treated equally. I would chat with some children after class, but it had little to do with giving gifts. Mostly it was because the children themselves loved learning, or the parents were well-educated and brought up children with good personalities. HeyMom: If there is no need to give gifts, how should parents communicate with teachers? Teacher Xu: Let’s give a counterexample first. There is a mother who has several in a rowHe called me at night and cried to me that his child\’s grades were too poor: \”If I can\’t make progress after being sent to school, what else will your teacher do?\” In fact, his son was already in the top five in the class. Parents who communicate most smoothly understand one thing, that is: performance is determined by multiple factors, teachers only play a small part, and parents are their children\’s best teachers. They will not put all the responsibility on the teacher, nor will they have unrealistic demands on the teacher. If the child really has any problems, I will dare to talk to them openly and honestly, and then they will help the child improve, which is also the fastest. . There’s really no need to give gifts. Being reasonable is the best gift a parent can give to a teacher. Do children need special care? When we think repeatedly about whether to give gifts to teachers, it seems that the relationship between teachers and students is a bit too tense, just like the doctor-patient relationship. If giving a gift is just to express gratitude, it should be an easy thing. The reason why we become worried about gains and losses is because we want to exchange gifts for teachers to pay more attention to their children. Let me ask, which teacher wouldn’t like children who know how to respect their teachers and parents who know how to be considerate of their teachers? Some people may say: This is too idealistic. Sometimes you really encounter that kind of weird teacher. You can\’t remember who gave gifts, but you only remember who didn\’t give gifts. So, such a utilitarian teacher is not sincere even if he cares about the children. Children are not stupid, they can feel it. If a child realizes that the teacher\’s attitude towards him will change as a result of giving gifts, will the child lose respect and trust in the teacher from then on? If we cannot stay away from these few teachers who lack teacher ethics, then we can only tell our children: It is not your fault that the teacher criticizes you. Another question that needs to be considered is: If a teacher gives a child special attention, is it really good for the child? Many parents may feel that the more teachers pay attention to their children, the better. Actually not. As a child who has received special attention from teachers, I have had the following feelings: I feel that I am being treated specially, I seem to be separated from my classmates, I am in an isolated situation, and I am very embarrassed. If you fall one or two steps behind, you will be asked to talk to the teacher. The pressure is too great and it is difficult to maintain a normal attitude towards learning. The teachers cannot fully understand my study habits, and requiring me to follow their standards will interfere with my self-study rhythm. I am afraid that the teacher will report anything to my parents when I do anything. I am always on tenterhooks, as if I have been betrayed by the people closest to me. I really wish I wasn\’t that good at studying so that I wouldn\’t attract the teacher\’s attention. In short, teachers’ special care is not as good for children as parents think. Parents are the most important. Whether in kindergarten or primary school, the role that teachers can play is limited. It is impossible for children to leave their children to the responsibility of teachers all the time. Teachers teach children knowledge, and character and good study habits are cultivated in the family. So, should you give gifts to teachers during holidays? There is a method you may refer to: If you really want to thank the teacher, express it sincerely and naturally in your own way. If we want our children to like and respect their teachers, it is better to start by thanking the teachers for their efforts. And, on every ordinary dayHere, lead by example, use your own personality and knowledge to be the best role model for your children.

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