Someone once said: \”A mother thinks she is a mother from the moment she knows she is pregnant, while a father thinks he is a father from the moment the child is born.\” Mother is the one closest to her child after he comes to the world. People, and the child will establish an emotional bond with the person who first raised him, and this emotional bond will also affect his life. Mothers with the following characteristics will generally have excellent children. Montessori education concept, true Montessori education in the family, selected program [all 3 volumes PDF] The failure of home education for mothers who do not compare, the inferiority complex, introversion, and depression of countless children all come from \”comparison\”. Comparison will lead to suppression. Hunan Satellite TV has a program called \”Youth Talk\”. This program invites children to come on stage and encourages them to talk about their worries in study and life, while their parents listen below. The first episode of the show was titled: Why are other people’s children better than mine? Before a girl came on stage, she seemed very restless and nervous compared to other children. She said, \”My mother will beat me to death in the audience later.\” When she got to the stage, the little girl spoke out loud about herself The constant grievance and discomfort: \”It\’s not just other people\’s children who are good. Your own children also work very hard. Why can\’t you never see my efforts?\” In this regard, my mother\’s answer is: I know that I have been constantly fighting. You, because I think in your character, if you don\’t attack, you might be a little bit arrogant. Faced with the mother\’s \”conclusive\” reply, the little girl ran off the stage in tears. At this time the program host said: I finally understand why she was so at a loss before going on stage. In fact, through countless \”comparisons\” and \”attacks\” like this, children slowly lose confidence and become more and more inferior and introverted. And being \”compared\” continuously can make children more likely to develop rebellious psychology. Rather than comparing their children with other people\’s children, powerful mothers prefer to understand and care about their children, and discover their children\’s strengths, weaknesses, and talents. When a child fails to do well in an exam, a good mother is not eager to compare the child with other children, but to figure out the reason and then provide some comfort and encouragement. When a child does something wrong, a good mother does not ask the child to see what other children do, but tells the child that he did something wrong, then teaches him the correct way and gives him trust. Lazy Mothers Many mothers want to take care of everything for their children, including food, clothing, housing, and transportation, and take care of everything for their children down to the smallest detail. After working hard in the workplace during the day, you have to be responsible for buying a green onion when you come home at night. When the children ask for help, they say: \”Go, go, you can\’t do it well, just do your own thing well.\” It\’s over.\” If things go on like this, my own anxiety will worsen, and my child\’s growth will also stagnate. As a mother, you must be able to \”be lazy\” and learn to let go of many things and let your children do it by themselves. Hu Ke once said in the \”Mom is Superman\” program: The more mothers do, the less children do. In the show, she often \”lazy\” and showed weakness to her eldest son Anji: \”I am very tired today and I need you to help mom with some housework.\”, can we finish it together? \”Da Anji, mom is having a hard time, can you take care of your brother?\” \”It is precisely because her mother Hu Ke is \”lazy\” from time to time that Anji has become a housework expert at a young age, and is very skilled in doing housework of all sizes. She also often takes on the responsibility of taking care of her younger brother, taking him to play the piano and read. She teaches her younger brother to fold clothes, and even educates her younger brother seriously when he doesn\’t do housework seriously. He is like a little \”parent\”. In family relationships, many mothers habitually do everything for their children, and the children have no practice and The opportunity to make mistakes also loses the right to make decisions. If things go on like this, the child\’s growth will be greatly hindered and he will become a \”giant baby\” or \”mom\’s baby\” with no sense of responsibility and independence. Therefore, mothers must learn to \” \”Be lazy\” and give your children enough opportunities to practice and trial and error. This will not only make your own life easier, but also bring more growth to your children. You must know that you can never grow up for him. One day Children need to face the whole world independently. Emotionally stable mother Ms. Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology in Taiwan, said that from the perspective of human evolution, the mother is the soul of the family. If the mother is happy, the whole family will be happy, if the mother is anxious, the whole family will be anxious. This sentence is enough to give everyone Mother’s revelation: When entering into a marriage and family, the most important thing is to be happy. Children’s hearts are immature, and it is difficult for them to understand the emotional disputes in the adult world. In the face of mother’s negative emotions, children are often prone to fear and uneasy, cautious in doing anything. Many adults talk about their families when they grow up: when their mother loses her temper, dark clouds gather in the house and the atmosphere is very tense. Marshal Zhu De, the founding father of New China, once said frankly that for him The person who had the greatest influence in his life was his biological mother Zhong, and the person he admired most in his life was also his biological mother Zhong. In his famous article \”Remembering My Mother\”, Zhu De mentioned his biological mother Zhong. In such a poor era, Zhong raised eight children single-handedly, and had heavy housework and farm work to do. Even with such hard work, in Zhu De\’s memory, her mother was gentle, tolerant and generous, and she never beat or scolded her. Children don\’t quarrel with anyone. This kind of education has had a great influence on Zhu De invisibly, teaching Zhu De a character that will benefit him throughout his life. As a mother, it\’s not that you shouldn\’t have emotions, but you should learn to deal with them. Stabilize your own emotions and learn to talk to your children calmly. Mothers who do not give up on self-growth. Once a mother stops self-growth, she will transfer her own expectations to her children. Once she finds that her children have not met her own expectations, , I will blame others. I once taught a student whose academic performance was a mess, and he was always at the bottom. His mother came to me and said: \”For him, I quit my job and did not have any entertainment activities. I stare at him at home every day. Study, but this child\’s results are really chilling. \”But during the teaching process, once the topic of maternal love came up, the child told me this: \”My mother stays with me at home every day and looks at me. But every time she stared at me writing exercises, sheI was scrolling on Douyin on the sofa. When they see me stop writing, they will scold me and then continue to use Douyin. I always think why? Why am I the only one who has to study hard here? Then I became very irritable and couldn\’t continue studying. \”How many mothers are like this? When your children are learning to read under your scolding, but you turn around and watch short videos? If you want your children to be what kind of person, the easiest way is to be what kind of person you first become. .Only when you grow up to be good enough, your children will look at you, learn from you, and then stand on your shoulders and structure to reach a better level. Some mothers may say: Am I so big? When the grade is over, do you still need to re-learn mathematics, physics, chemistry, and memorize English words? In fact, it does not necessarily need to be these subject knowledge. Find a book you like, or a newspaper or a magazine, and read it while your child is writing diligently. When the time comes, put down your mobile phone, stop watching short videos, and calm down to read. This is also a kind of self-growth. The king of educating children is to work hard to cultivate and improve yourself. How to stimulate students\’ interest and motivation in learning, download the full video this There is no perfect mother in the world. There will always be \”monsters\” big and small on the road to motherhood. I hope we can fight monsters and upgrade along the way and become the shining mother in the hearts of our children.