• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

No matter how unbearable it is, please stand by your children’s side

Every year when the results of the high school and college entrance exams come out, some are happy and some are sad, and some children are eagerly sought out by key schools. And many children are not admitted to ordinary schools. But no matter what the outcome is, parents should never give up on their children. Just because the paths taken are different, it does not mean that the children’s future will not be bright. All roads lead to Rome, is the mantra. There is no real fairness in this world, but it has its own laws: for example, success requires hard work – your real hard work will bring you luck and the life you want. And if you don’t work hard, there’s no need to talk about it. In this world, there are always a lot of nonsense that will test your determination. A mother told me that her child is very good, but the teacher just doesn’t like him and wants other students to stay away from him. This mother said that she didn\’t like to please people. She must have offended the teacher at some point. I told her to firmly believe in her child and not to doubt her child just because she met a scumbag teacher. I believe there will be many people around you who are good teachers. They point fingers at your child, and some people even define and label your child. But no matter who that person is, you must think carefully and don\’t give up on your child just because of what some people say. No matter what, don’t give up on your child. Even if someone tells you that your child is very bad, hopelessly bad. Even if someone tells you that your child is stupid and will have no future in this life, no matter what those people do. Say, your child will always be yours and has nothing to do with those people. To destroy a child, you must first destroy his faith. So don\’t humiliate your child in person, even if you think it\’s a joke. I remember once I was a guest at a relative’s house. During the meal, several families gathered together. When talking about the children\’s studies, everyone praised the aunt\’s daughter for being sensible, scoring high in exams every time, and promising to be successful in the future. Then I heard the conversation change and talk about a boy. He was busy eating, paying no attention to it, and seemed not to want to offend anyone. \”Our family is not good at this. We fail the test every time. If I can pass the test once, I will burn high incense to the Bodhisattva every day.\” His mother said. The child\’s face was already very pale and his brows were furrowed, but the mother still kept talking. \”I know how to play games every day and make a bunch of bad friends.\” The child dropped the dishes and left, leaving behind a series of reproaches from his mother. The mother may feel that such an occasion can put some pressure on her child to correct herself and set a good example. But she forgot how the child felt. Who wants to be ridiculed and exposed in front of so many relatives and friends? An adult\’s face is all about face, so can a child\’s self-esteem be trampled on at will? Many times, parents will \”unintentionally\” hurt their children. In addition to paying attention to the occasion, you should also pay attention to your own language. Even if it is not intentional, a parent\’s words or actions will be magnified and interpreted in the eyes of children. Children\’s hearts are actually very sensitive. I remember one time, Xiao Xiaoyu asked me to name a dinosaur. I said you can get it yourself. He said: \”Dad, I think you should choose a better name, because I think your imagination in naming is better than mine, and my other imagination is better than yours.\” Dad justAre these places better than yours? Tell me which of your imaginations are better than mine. \”Maybe he felt something strange, so he didn\’t answer. He just said: \”Then you mean to say that I am stupid! \”\”no! Dad didn\’t say you were stupid. I think you have a very good imagination. \”Hearing my affirmation, he immediately became happy again. Why is this happening? Maybe it has something to do with the blows I sometimes hit him. Because I am afraid that he is too proud, so I hit him from time to time, and sometimes my words are not appropriate. In this way It is easy for children to form such a reaction. Therefore, parents should see more of their children\’s strengths and encourage them. They should also accept their children\’s imperfections and be less nagging and criticizing. It is a good thing for Chinese people to save face. If a person is shameless, he can do anything, and it is also very hateful. But when raising children, being too face-conscious sometimes causes naked harm to the children. Think about it, your face , is it really more important than children? There are many such people who have a very bad life. So they all rely on their children to earn face for themselves. I have met such a weird father. Because he is always around He worked outside, so his children also went to school in the city. Because he was a migrant worker, according to the government\’s arrangement, he attended a resettlement school near the rental house. Originally, most of his relatives and friends who came to work also arranged this. But when he returned to his hometown, he met the villagers People said that the child was studying in a provincial key school, and they made it as if it were true. Later, someone asked the child. The child blushed with shame and was at a loss. But among everyone\’s laughter and inquiries, he only said: He could answer that yes. This made him feel more stressed out of nowhere, and he also became a liar because of his father\’s sad \”scam\”. This is a typical example of vanity that harms children. For the sake of face, he puts his children at risk. Advancing into the trap. There are many such parents who like to take their children to socialize. They will also spend money to cultivate some skills and specialties in their children so that their children can perform well. This will give them more face. Of course, Some children will refuse such learning and performances and rebel against their parents. But some children have tasted the sweetness and begun to enjoy the vanity satisfaction that learning brings. Rousseau said in \”Emile\”: \”I It would be better for him to learn nothing than to see him learn a lot out of jealousy or vanity. \”I strongly agree, because if there is a problem with the child\’s character and values, the more he learns, the greater the harm will be. You cannot push the child out just because of face. Instead, you should respect the child\’s choice and take into account the child\’s small size. Self-esteem. Stand beside your children and think from their hearts. At any time, parents should not expect too much from their children. They may even arrange for their children to have a so-called successful life. Facts will prove that these are absurd and useless. . Because what you call success is not necessarily the success he wants. And the child\’s own life will be carried out under the guidance of his own heart. What parents can do is to let their children develop good habits and cultivate themselves as early as possible. and knowledge. These are things that schools and teachers cannot provide, and are also things that society cannot provide.Given by the law. Because these habits and characters have been engraved in the children\’s bones bit by bit when they were at home. Take your good points, take your bad points, take some of the character and skills given by your family, go to school and society to be tested, and what you get in the end is pain or praise. And this is growth. Once parents fail to educate their children well, the children are destined to be severely educated when they go outside. So don’t rush to criticize your children, but reflect more on yourself. No matter how embarrassing it is, no matter how miserable life is, we must stand firmly by our children\’s side. No matter how sad it is, you must firmly accompany your children to grow up, give them care, trust, appreciation and encouragement. This should be the way to parent.

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