• Mon. Dec 4th, 2023

pain! A mother accidentally kills her son and then jumps off a building. When did raising a child become a matter of life and death?

There is a saying in China that \”a tiger\’s poison cannot eat its seeds.\” However, the mother\’s murder of her child happened bloody again. Two days ago, a mother in Fujian accidentally killed her fifth-grade son and then committed suicide by jumping off a building. After seeing this news in my circle of friends, my heart was filled with a strong sense of suffocation. As a mother, this is the scariest and most tragic thing I can imagine, bar none! The child\’s father was not at home when the incident occurred, and everyone was speculating on the cause of the dispute between mother and son. Some people say it’s because the child didn’t do well in the final exam, some say it’s because the mother asked her child to attend English cram school but the child didn’t comply, and others say the mother may be suffering from depression. It\’s all speculation. So far, we can only learn from preliminary disclosures by the police: \”During the dispute, the mother tightly strangled her son\’s neck with the cord of the charger. After discovering that her son was dead, the mother tried to commit suicide many times in panic. Including cutting her wrists, but failed, and finally jumped from the 13th floor.\” \”The bones were all deformed, there was no blood on the ground, only traces of cutting her wrists were seen on her wrists.\” Who can believe that this could happen? tragedy? This is obviously a happy and harmonious family to others. We may never get a definite answer to what happened between the mother and son before the tragedy occurred. The only thing that can be confirmed is that the bloodiest things happen in the most intimate relationships. I can’t help but wonder, what’s going on in this world? What exactly are mothers experiencing in this era? Picture source: \”Helen\” What mothers are experiencing is that the dead are the most important. I have no intention of trying to figure out what happened inside this family in Fuzhou, not to mention that outsiders can never get a glimpse of the whole family. But from the boy\’s excellent grades and high level of piano playing, we can at least conclude that the mother must have put a lot of energy and effort into her son. She made a big mistake, but if this tragedy had not happened, then she would have been no different from countless mothers who had their hearts broken and worked hard to support the whole family. It wasn\’t until she finally collapsed that people realized that this family might have been \”sick\” for a long time. Image source: \”Husband Suffers from Depression\” Many families seem to \”look beautiful\”. A while ago, an unexpected \”visitor\” of mine gave me such a touch. This friend of mine has hardly been around since she gave birth to her baby. I can only find out from the Internet, Moments, and her phone calls that she is probably living a good life, and the photos of her family playing around look full of family happiness, with a virtuous husband and a filial son. Picture source: \”Melancholia\” Until she gave me a phone call very suddenly and said: I will see you in a few days. It came as it was said. After closing the door, throwing away her sunglasses, and kicking off her high heels, she finally couldn\’t stand it any longer, and her tears kept falling. It turns out that since she had a child, her husband should be socializing and having fun, and the pace of life is exactly the same as before, but she has to take care of the baby while working, and can\’t help but worry about this and that, and just live her life day by day. A \”hateful\” nagging woman. We talked almost all night. Early the next morning, she caught the early train and left, returning to her life as if nothing had happened.happened before. In fact, we are all the same. After becoming a mother, what woman doesn’t complain, laugh, hold on, and swallow her tears alone at the same time? When I went to see \”Mysterious Superstar\” before, my son asked me why the mother in the film was wearing sunglasses after being beaten. I didn\’t know how to answer. Aamir Khan once said in his \”Truth Interview\” that this is middle-class respectability. Picture source: Aamir Khan \”Truth Interview\” Of course, Chinese mothers rarely have to endure violence from men, but the situation is not easier, and tolerance is at least the same. In daily life, while working, they shoulder the main task of raising children, and at the same time, they have to take care of every detail of the entire family. In the past, when women were unhappy, they could cry, make a fuss, or hang themselves. If that didn\’t work, they would throw themselves on the ground and roll around. After venting their anger, they would become heroes again. Today\’s mothers wear exquisite professional attire to fight side by side with men during the day, and go home at night to continue worrying about rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea. The pain in my heart and the tiredness in my body have not changed, but my grievances and complaints are mostly digested alone in the dead of night. Until one day, I couldn\’t bear it anymore and it broke out! Children are also victims and heartbroken! In addition to heartache, there is also fear. A friend was very frank. After watching the news, she exclaimed: Oh my God! I have also been cruel to my children after losing control of my emotions! I sensed her luck in saying this. She was married from out of town, and her relationship with her husband had never been good. She had been raising the children by herself day and night since confinement. And after having a child, many clues showed that her husband was having an affair. Image source: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel I don’t know how she pulled through this. I just remember that one day, she hesitated for a long time and finally asked: \”Am I sick? I always pinch my daughter and want to beat her. When she kept crying, I even thought about killing her.\” At this time, there was clear fear in her eyes. In fact, many people have attacked others on a fantasy level. Everyone will be aggressive, and most attacks only remain at the level of fantasies. These fantasies are normal and healthy. It is through this kind of imagination that we can eliminate the desire to attack. The problem for this mother is that she does act out her fantasy to a certain extent. I understand her. There is no sense of security, no self-confidence, no love; when you are tired from crying, you don’t know where to rely; the only thing you have is your child, and your child is completely an inseparable part of your flesh and blood. Image source: \”Wedding Dress\” Children are safe for us and are the only people in this world who love us unconditionally. He is so small, we attack him, but he cannot fight back. We have an absolute strength advantage in front of him. Our behavior of attacking children can relieve our own anxiety to a certain extent and give our emotions somewhere to go, but it hurts the children. This is a highly stalemate mother-son relationship. It is this high-density relationship that makes it easy for us to devour our children while taking care of them. ​Photo source: \”Wedding Dress\” A Japanese photographer said that parents killing their own children occurs on average every four days (in Japan), and 74% of the murderers are actuallyIt\’s the child\’s mother. I still remember the incident in September last year in Beijing where a mother dragged her daughter off a building. The daughter cried heartbreakingly: Mom, I don’t want to die. The mother still pushed her daughter and asked her to jump down together. What is this mother doing? In her heart, the child belongs to her. Therefore, when you die, you must take your own bones and blood with you. It\’s a pity that her death can\’t hurt people who don\’t care about her, it only hurts the person who loved her most. what should we do? What can we do to prevent tragedy from happening again and again? Li Weirong, a family therapist whose father returns to the family, said: Most mothers who are on the rocks pay too much attention to their children and focus all their attention on them. Mother and son are entangled, and the father is like an outsider or a guest. Most of these reflect the conflicts between the couple. The reason why the boundaries between mother and child are unclear is often because the father stands far away. We often see nagging and resentful wives. A woman who nags at her husband, even cries and makes trouble, what does she want? Just wanting to get closer to that absent-minded lover. At this time, many men will start to want to run away, and women will chase them. The man fled farther and farther away, leaving the mother and child alone. Just nagging is lucky. The most fearful thing is that in severe cases, various physical and mental illnesses may occur, or even the tragedies mentioned above may occur. How to change? Maybe the husband just needs to run away a little slower, or just stand there and say to his wife: You have worked hard, I am here. Image source: American TV series \”this is us\” When mothers return to themselves, children will always grow up. When they are little, it seems easy for us to give them lots of attention, lots of intervention, and everything is under our control. However, the older the child gets, the more satisfaction this control brings becomes diminished. Image source: \”Wedding Dress\” The little man is becoming more and more powerful, and he is beginning to become complex and sensitive. Just like in this tragic incident in Fuzhou, the fifth-grade boy has actually reached the threshold of adolescence. They are sensitive and irritable, and will express to their mother with a refusal attitude: I am going to grow up, I have my own thoughts and wishes; I want to push you away, otherwise I won’t be able to breathe. Image source: \”About a Boy\” At this time, the mother should withdraw her gaze and look back at the you who is always empty and needy, expecting your children to satisfy you. We must know that our children come into this world to become themselves, not to fulfill us. Understanding this, perhaps the relationship between us and our children can become a more pure mother-child relationship, in which case there will be more intimacy instead of confrontation and entanglement. Picture source: Aamir Khan \”Truth Interview\” I know that it is not easy to achieve the above two points. A sense of powerlessness and even despair will still hit busy mothers from time to time. When falling into an emotional dilemma, many female friends may feel that I can\’t get through it, I can\’t hold it. However, what I want to say is that those moments of powerlessness and hopelessness are indeed difficult, but they will definitely pass and they will definitely pass. When you look back after it has passed, you will feel that you have actually overestimated yourself and spent your life on unnecessary \”musts\” and \”shoulds\” and other attachments. Actually, onlyIf you jump out, you\’ll be fine. The process of parents educating their children is also a process of emotional transfer and energy transfer. My dear, focus more on yourself. Our emotions are calm and joyful, and what our children feel is love. After all, life is ours first. We have the responsibility to live a better life for ourselves, so that we can truly make the ones we love happy.

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