• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

Parents’ sense of propriety in speaking affects children’s level

A few days ago, I took my children to the supermarket. As soon as I arrived at the entrance of the supermarket, my brother said that he was very hungry and wanted to eat. I looked at the time, it was almost twelve o\’clock. I thought that if I went home to make food, it would definitely be too late. When you go to the supermarket and feel hungry, you will ask for snacks. There happens to be a rural supermarket right in front of the supermarket. Order them a good meal. My brother consciously started looking for a seat. A mother sitting next to her was feeding her child. The child was playing with toys and eating every bite. Grandma was sitting opposite, chatting without saying a word. After a while, children\’s meals were served. I distributed the food to the children and sat aside to watch them eat. Maybe my grandma was bored, so she asked me: \”How old is this little girl? She just eats by herself.\” I answered honestly: \”More than one and a half years old.\” Who knew that this honest sentence would bring pressure to the little girl. Grandma said: \”Look, little sister, you can eat by yourself at one and a half years old. You will be three years old in a few days, and you still need to be fed. You are not serious about feeding you.\” Originally, the child was not paying attention to eating, and grandma scolded her. , choked on the rice and squirted out. Grandma hurriedly asked for water, tissues, and nagging. The nagging gradually turned into settling old scores. From the initial concern, it turned into hatred, one sentence after another. The child looked at his mother helplessly. The mother\’s patience may have been worn out, and her face turned dark. The child said nothing and suffered silently. After clearing the tableware, the child stopped eating. Grandma and her mother changed seats, took the bowl from her mother\’s hand, and continued to feed her. \”I won\’t eat it,\” the child yelled angrily. \”My dear grandson, please eat some more. Our Beibei is the most well-behaved. Much better than that brother.\” I didn\’t know that my grandma would say such a thing, and my son looked at me innocently. I quickly said: \”You are the most admired child in my mother\’s heart.\” I often talk to my friends about these little things about children, but they don\’t matter to adults. But for children, adults\’ words and deeds always affect the child\’s mood. They are immature mentally and do not understand what is a joke and what is a real accusation. For children, adults habitually express excessive concern, always saying \”slow down\”, \”be careful\” and \”don\’t listen to me\”. For a young child, speaking appropriately is the main way for the child to feel respected. Saying too many negative, blaming, and blaming words to a child will make the child feel embarrassed and lost, which will in turn trigger unpleasant emotions in the child. It doesn\’t matter how serious you are when speaking, but it must be done appropriately so as not to embarrass the child and be measured. Mr. Tao Xingzhi said: The whole secret of educating children is to believe in them and liberate them. Things have priorities and words have priorities. In daily communication with children, you should not speak on a whim and say whatever comes to mind. I unintentionally said hurtful words to my child without even realizing it. When a child is too young, he cannot resist. When he is a little older, and when he feels that he is capable enough, he will have a head-on conflict with his parents. There is a couple around me who usually quarrel over trivial matters. Whenever there is a quarrel, there will be verbal quarrels and no one gives in. They have two sons. The older one watches them quarrel, and the younger one watches them cry. The wife often accuses her husband: the clothes are not washed, the rice is not cooked, and the dishes are not washed. Not even sickHelp her with some housework. He just treats himself as an uncle, doesn\’t know how to do anything at home, and still yells at people every day. I was really blind at that time. If it weren\’t for the child, I would have divorced you long ago. These words were spoken on a whim, and the reconciliation between husband and wife was over. But what about the children? The people they loved most turned against each other. He became a burden between them. After a fight between husband and wife, they often vent their emotions on their children. One said: \”What\’s the use of you? You\’re just as lazy as your dad.\” Another said: \”Why cry? You\’re just as useless as your mother.\” Later, when the children grew up and had issues with their parents, they yelled at them directly. . The couple often publicly compared the filial piety of their two sons at relatives\’ gatherings. One son was unfilial in certain things, and the other son went too far in certain things. As the saying goes: Don\’t eat too much food and don\’t say too much words. Language is harmful to children, and one day your children will use it to hurt you. Respect your children, starting with your own mouth. Mr. Fujimoto Giichi, a Japanese man who won the Naoki Award, said his daughter exceeded the 10 o\’clock time limit in the evening and came home drunk at 12 o\’clock. Mrs. Fujimoto opened the door, scolded her, and then said: \”In short, you still have to apologize to your father.\” Suddenly, Fujiki\’s daughter sobered up a lot, and felt that a disaster was coming. So she timidly walked to her father\’s bedroom, but the father with a solemn face only said: \”You bastard~\” and then left angrily, leaving his daughter alone in the dark. It was a word, but it deeply hurt her heart. However, returning home late never happened again. Parents all have the experience of blaming their children. Most parents also understand that their children are rebellious, so it is quite difficult for their children to reflect. One sentence: \”What did you do? How many times have I said it?\” I start to want them to understand and reflect on it. At this time, if the child behaves in a rebellious manner, the parents will add, \”What is your attitude?\” Then the preaching goes on endlessly. It is undeniable that the starting point for every parent\’s preaching is to love and want their children. But sometimes, it hurts the child in the form of expression, making the child feel confused, embarrassed, and embarrassed. Talking is the simplest way to express love. Speak with a sense of proportion, not excessive, not overdone, not extreme. Only then will children have a sound personality, be more capable of self-regulation, self-awareness, be more confident, and be more conscious. When speaking, respect the child\’s principles: Don\’t use too many words in every matter of his own. You can turn a blind eye to small things that don\’t matter. Don\’t exaggerate and embarrass the child. Don’t compare and let your children get hurt. When booting, try to leave no traces. When a child falls and is frustrated, parents do not necessarily have to say or do something. It’s about what the children need and what the parents give them. Speaking appropriately is the most basic respect for children.

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