The demolition payment for my colleague’s house finally came. Before they could experience instant wealth, they were over two million in debt. It turns out that it is for the sake of children’s education. The couple used the demolition money as a down payment to buy \”Lao Po Xiao\” in the school district within the third ring road. My colleague slept on a hard bed separated from the living room, telling himself over and over again, \”It\’s all for the sake of the children.\” In addition to working hard to earn school district housing, in order to \”not lose at the starting line\”, there is nothing that ordinary people can do that old parents can\’t even think of. Some netizens previously posted on WeChat Moments that they had seen a real \”chicken blood mother\” in the delivery room. She had just returned to the ward from the operating room, with an intravenous drip on her arm, and started a voice call with her boss: \”I looked at the English and misspelled two words. This is a bit inappropriate… You open the **APP, Today I have to complete 1234…Is there anything you don’t understand after listening to today’s Mathematical Olympiad class…\” Then he hung up the voice call, opened the \”Li Weng Dui Rhymes\” prepared in advance on his mobile phone, and put it into the ear of the second child who had not yet passed meconium. While saying: \”Come on, baby, today\’s early education class has begun…\” And this is a mother who has been in the delivery room for less than 3 hours. Most parents have the mentality of \”hoping for their children to succeed\”. Everyone hopes that their children will have a successful life. However, on this road to success, parents are tired, and so are their children. The more diligent the parents are, the more anxious the children will be. Parents\’ efforts and expectations become a heavy burden for their children. It seems that only success can live up to their expectations and cultivation over the years. Why do our parents have such a strong obsession with success? Psychologists have given us the answer: People have a preference. When they see something that is incomplete, they always want to make it up. I think parents who expect their children to succeed probably have the same mentality. They always hope that their children can fill in what they themselves cannot do. The expectation for children to excel is actually just making up for their own long-cherished wishes. However, with this mentality, harm is inevitable. I read an interview with a young photographer. His parents were both doctors, so as soon as he was born, his future path was planned. In order to prevent their children from taking detours, the parents used their own experience to come to the conclusion: \”The career of doctor is the only one with a future, so don\’t consider other directions.\” But the boy refused: I don\’t want to live like my parents, I don\’t want to just live like my parents. Live to survive. There are too many such stories in life, but there are not many people who truly dare to \”rebellion\” like him. Most children choose to be obedient and silently bear the pressure from their parents in the name of filial piety. However, what they lost was precisely the most precious thing in human life: the opportunity to live out their lives. Haisang said something in \”Poems for Children\”: \”You are not my hope, no, you are your own hope.\” Raising excellent children actually does not require much effort from parents. Just go with the flow and discover their uniqueness. Many parents are worried that their children will not be able to keep up when they are young and will have difficulty when they grow up. But in fact, where the parents cannot see, the children are already overwhelmed. There is nothing wrong with wanting children to be excellent, but what is wrong is that the standards for excellence are too uniform. ▌Good fatherMothers know how to appreciate the uniqueness of their children. Internationally renowned dancer Xu Fangyi once told a TED talk about her experiences growing up. She said that her parents had very low education and it was not easy for her father to start from scratch. Their parents\’ expectation for them is to study hard so that they can be teachers and sit in offices in the future without having to work so hard every day. So even though Xu Fangyi loved dancing since she was a child, she still forced herself to study hard in order to meet her parents\’ expectations. But every time she opened the book, she felt that the book was looking at her, not her, so her homework was naturally not good. My family always said that if I still don’t improve in my studies, I will have no choice but to work as a female worker. Xu Fangyi was very scared inside. She didn\’t dare to dream, and she didn\’t dare to think because she didn\’t do well in her homework and felt that she had no future or future. It wasn\’t until the age of 19 that Xu Fangyi met Ross Parks, a famous Australian dance teacher. The teacher casually said: \”This child has great potential in dancing\”, which moved Xu Fangyi very much. She never thought that there was anyone in the world who could support her dream. From that day on, Xu Fangyi was no longer afraid. She dared to dream. She wanted to become a professional dancer. Learn to appreciate children. In addition to their grades, they have so many excellent qualities. Only by allowing children to be different can they live a wonderful life of their own. ▌ Make subtractions for children and allow them to grow up slowly. In order to cultivate \”competitive children\”, it is easy for us to cram English, dancing, musical instruments, and sports into them all at once. We always hope that he will get more, so that he will not regret the lack of books when they are used. As a result, a lot of training fees were spent, and the children failed to learn anything. Under the pressure of their parents, they even became bored with the projects they were interested in at the beginning. As soon as a relative\’s child turned two years old, his parents began to worry about his child\’s education. Send your child to a kindergarten. The state has regulations that prohibit children under three years old from entering kindergarten. After much deliberation, I sent my child to a private kindergarten. As a result, the child was too young and unable to adapt to the unfamiliar environment. I couldn\’t fully understand the teacher\’s instructions, cried often, and had a weak immune system, so I caught a cold within two days. Parents also get angry, which is really counterproductive. Knowledgeable parents will make subtractions in their children\’s education. They understand children\’s differences and respect their children\’s rhythms. Neither will we seek trouble with anxiety, nor will we rush to encourage others to succeed. ▌A child’s personality is more important than his grades. I was on a business trip and met a mother and son on a train. While chatting with my mother, I found that no matter what topic she brought up, she could always relate it to the child. Then I sighed in various ways: \”I spent so much money, but the child is not good enough.\” However, I discovered that this child is not as disappointing as the mother said. He is a very polite child. Always look at me seriously when talking to me and listen patiently to my thoughts. When it comes to my interests and hobbies, I am very clear-cut. Especially the way he cleared the table before getting off the bus made me sigh with emotion: Why can\’t his mother see such a good child? In fact, many times, the value of a child does not necessarily require the blessing of a prestigious school. Some time ago, the warmth of a little boy after a heavy rainThe move shocked the circle of friends. Heavy rain fell suddenly in Shijiazhuang, causing serious water accumulation on some roads. A little boy was afraid that passers-by would be injured, so he acted as a little angel in front of the road. A middle-aged man was knocked to the ground in a car accident. A passing seven-year-old boy used his small body to shield him from the sun and did not leave until 120 arrived. In fact, there are many, many more such things in life. These children may not be top academics, and they may not be able to fight back from humble beginnings. But isn’t the kindness in them another kind of excellence? Parents often have good intentions in hoping that their children will succeed. Just like Aya said in \”The Adventure of Life\”: \”Mom won\’t think you are an unsuccessful person, she must think you are a very good child. She is just worried that you can\’t take care of yourself.\” Because she has experienced this world. Because of cruelty, we will be afraid that our children will follow our own old path in the future. But the child is still young, and they only see our harshness and criticism, and he will misunderstand whether we don\’t love him at all. Maybe we can express our love and care for them in another way. Worry less, pay more attention, take two less tutoring classes, and spend more time exploring the world with your children. Even if they fail to enter a top elementary school and their grades are not as good as those of their neighbors next door, it does not affect them from becoming happy people. Good parents know how to manage their own anxiety. They will not pass on the pressure of the adult world to their children prematurely. Instead, they know how to let go and let them play freely. In fact, children\’s abilities are far beyond our imagination. As long as you give them enough time and space, every child can shine uniquely. As a parent, the best thing you can leave to your children is not a bankbook or a house, but an opportunity to be yourself.