• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

Should a mother sacrifice herself for her child?


Oct 1, 2023

\”After having children, all the mangoes were given to the children, and I only deserved to eat the mango core…\” \”A kiwi fruit costs 9 yuan. Although it is very expensive, my daughter likes to eat it, so I often buy it. However, I never I have never eaten a whole kiwi fruit. I always cut it in half and scoop out the flesh with a spoon for my daughter to eat. I was afraid of wasting the remaining peel, so I gnawed it silently. Suddenly I felt that, unknowingly, I have become a person like my parents.\” Such words are particularly touching at first glance. Mothers leave the best and sweetest things to their children, but they are reluctant to take a bite. They are giving silently all the time. Great maternal love makes people cry. However, the comment section exploded. \”If my mother gave me such a kiwi fruit, I would feel suffocated. Why do many parents always over-pay, impress themselves, and leave the guilt to their children?\” \”I feel that this is unnecessary, and the children will eat less. It doesn\’t matter. If the mother really wants to eat, just let the child feed it to the mother. This will also help the child develop a good habit of sharing.\” \”It\’s exactly the same as my mother, no matter what she buys, she will always eat it. She said she bought it for me, but she was reluctant to eat it, and always said it was for my own good. As a result, I was very afraid of her buying things for me. I would rather not eat it and let them all eat it, rather than bear such a sense of guilt. .\” ★Parents\’ suffocating \”half a kiwi\” touched themselves, but hurt their children. \”I gave up everything and endured everything for my children.\” \”Give the best to your children, and your children will do twice as much in the future. Give it back to me.\” Many parents always feel that they have sacrificed a lot for the family, so in their expectation, their children should accept this great love, become more sensible, and then be filial to their parents when they grow up. But have parents ever considered whether their children really need such a great sacrifice? A must-read parenting book for parents recommends How to Accept Your Children Unconditionally pdf Parents\’ excessive dedication and self-impression will only increase the children\’s inner guilt, make them feel ashamed of their parents, and fear that they will not be able to repay in the future, making their parents sad and disappointed. However, under such psychological pressure for a long time, children will be on tiptoe, not daring to look at their parents\’ expectant eyes, and not daring to make requests to their parents. Such inner shadows often accompany children throughout their lives. Instead of being grateful and filial to their parents, they only have feelings of guilt and guilt. When I was scrolling through Moments a few days ago, my colleague’s child posted a post, which caused many parents to reflect. \”It\’s my birthday the day after tomorrow, and my mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, but I didn\’t want to say anything, because when I said it, she had to show me her greatness. In order to buy the gift, she had to work overtime for several days in a row, and our family People have to suffer the injustice of not being able to eat meat for a week, and she is not even willing to buy a new piece of clothing… I don\’t want to live at her expense, and I don\’t want to move forward with such guilt. I would rather that after she buys me strawberries, we can be together We shared the food, and I would rather she didn’t buy me new clothes but picked up second-hand ones from others. What I feared the most was that every time we ate, she would sit down next to me in a thoughtful and sincere way and tell me how hard she worked to raise me. What I don’t want to see is what she places on meEyes. This is not love to me, but like a rope, strangling me so hard that I can\’t breathe. ” ★Parents’ selfless contributions may make their children “feel deeply guilty”. Parents who always complain to their children and cry about their poverty may want to show their children how great they are and how much hardship they have put in… ●But their children may accept it The message they receive is sadness, guilt, guilt, and how \”poor\” their parents are. When a child sees his or her parents\’ sad expressions, helpless actions, and constant crying after they get something, then the child may To make parents happy and comfort parents, they may have to listen to their parents and be controlled by their parents. Children who are sensible and obedient are just reducing the guilt in their hearts, fearing that their parents will be disappointed. They may also look down upon their parents. As an object that you can control at will, you only need to listen to a few complaints in exchange for something you like. Over time, gratitude will become farther and farther away from the child. When you see your parents being reluctant to eat in order to buy things for themselves, Many children often have a sense of inferiority in their hearts. They dare not let their parents buy this thing anymore. They are afraid that they will hurt their parents, that the family has no money, and that they will be looked down upon by others. Mothers do not necessarily have to be forbearing and selfless, and neither does maternal love. Even if you have to sacrifice yourself, mothers also need to have their own lives and have their own thoughts. Only when mothers love themselves can children know how to love their mothers. Buying a lipstick for yourself will not reduce the quality of life. Eat a bite of durian by yourself. , the child will not lose nutrition just because he eats one less bite. Overpaying will only increase his inner depression and grievance, thereby increasing his expectations for the child. In this process, the pressure will be transferred to the child. Once If children live in the shadows and cannot escape, it will be difficult to see smiles on their faces. Share delicious food with your children to let them know that parents also need to be cared for and that mothers also have their own preferences. Parents are not candles. You don’t have to burn all the time, you should also enrich your spiritual world. Not all the money you earn has to be spent on your children. You can let the children pick a card for their mother, and let the children peel an orange for their father. In the process of giving to each other in this way , everyone\’s heart will reach a state of balance and a more comfortable life. Parents, have you ever been reluctant to buy things for yourself?

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