• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

The 12-year-old boy who committed matricide identified the scene: I expressed all my sincerity and finally became the person you hate the most

There was a time last year when I came home from get off work and my son had returned from school. After I entered the door, he would suddenly come out of the small room, hold a plastic knife or a toy gun, point it at me and say \”don\’t move\”, then stab me in the chest and shout \”kill\”, or Aim at my head, pull the trigger and shout \”boom\”. At first, I didn\’t pay attention, thinking it was a naughty trick of a little boy. But after he repeated it many times, I fell into deep thought: he subconsciously hated me, and he used games to remind me to discover it. At that time, the relationship between me and my child was the most tense: he had just transferred to a new school, the house he rented was small and dark, and my work was very busy. After he became too lazy to study, I couldn\’t help yelling at him when I was angry. . As a seven or eight-year-old boy, he clearly felt that I was shooting anxious bullets at him again and again. But as a son, he also felt that I was the mother who gave birth to him and there was nothing he could do to me. Therefore, he had no choice but to \”kill\” me in a game to express his inner dissatisfaction. After realizing this, I slowed down my work pace, moved to a spacious house, finished my work as early as possible every day, and gave him a big hug when he came back from school. Later, my son never pointed a knife or gun at me again. Every time when I go to school, he will happily say goodbye to me and remind me, \”Mom, take care of yourself.\” Every day when he came back from school, he would raise his arms and shout \”Mom, I\’m back\” when he walked in! Since then, I have understood: if the relationship between mother and child is tense to a certain extent, the child will want to kill the mother. Even though he loves her very much, he also knows that she loves him. Because a person\’s independent consciousness and rebellious spirit will make extremely rebellious children point the butcher knife at their favorite mother in hatred. Just like the case of 12-year-old matricide that just happened. On the evening of December 2, Xiaokang, a sixth-grade boy from Sihushan Town, Yuanjiang City, Hunan Province, killed his 34-year-old biological mother, Ms. Chen. The cause of the incident is no different from what is happening in many families in reality: Xiaokang skipped school and was notified by the teacher. On the night of the incident, when Ms. Chen criticized her son, she discovered that he had learned to smoke at some point. In a rage, she smashed her son\’s cell phone. Xiaokang ran into the kitchen, took out a kitchen knife and slashed his mother more than 20 times. After killing his mother, Xiaokang took his 2-year-old brother to sleep for one night. He answered many phone calls and WeChat messages from his mother. He also pretended to be his mother and sent messages to his class teacher asking for leave. It wasn\’t until the next day that a neighbor discovered the murder and immediately called the police. From the details disclosed in the news, it is not difficult to find that this extreme matricide case has many common elements of ordinary families: a middle-aged, anxious and tired mother of two children; a playful and naughty young child who does not like to study. ; The shadow father who is busy day and night and rarely comes home. Just like the following matricide cases that have been happening over the years. On November 22 this year, in a community in Shandong, 24-year-old college student Xiao Liu killed his mother, Ms. Wang, who was studying with him. Multiple witnesses confirmed that there was a fierce argument between mother and son for 15 minutes before the incident. There were constant sounds of beatings and wailing, but not a single cry for \”help\” was heard from beginning to end. The murdered Mother Wang,Probably at the last moment of his life, he would not believe that his biological son would really kill him. Prior to this, Xiao Liu failed many subjects due to physical reasons and had to repeat the grade for two years. My mother came from her hometown to work in a supermarket while accompanying her son to school, because she was worried about his health and studies. Unexpectedly, this kind of proactive care led to killings in anger. In September 2016, Gong Hongwei, a 26-year-old Chinese student studying in the United States, killed his mother Gong Liuyun in an American apartment. He dismembered the body into seven bags and stored it in the freezer at home. Eight months later, he surrendered to the police. When questioned, he said that he killed his mother because he wanted to give up his studies, and her mother was dissatisfied with this. The two had a fierce conflict, and in a rage, he killed and dismembered her with blunt instruments. After the news spread to China, many people could not believe why the smart and well-behaved Gong Hongwei did such a cruel thing to his beautiful and elegant mother Gong Liuyun. Just like, we rarely see that there are often deep and dangerous gaps between outstanding sons and capable mothers: ●In July 2015, Wu Xieyu, a Peking University student, committed a high-tech crime. The single mother Xie Tianqin disappeared after being killed and has not been brought to justice; ●In March 2012, Gao Moumou, a young man from Nanchang, killed his mother because her mother usually controlled his salary too strictly; ●In March 2011, a Shanghai resident Wang Jiajing, a Japanese student, asked her mother for living expenses to no avail. She stabbed her at the airport and almost killed her… Behind these extremely tragic tragedies, there is always the truth hidden: selfless to the point of taking everything in, and everything down to the smallest detail. The mother, the son who was so vicious that he was dehumanizing and cruel and crazy, and the relationship that was so close that there was no distinction between you and me and no boundaries, led to the tragedy of hatred, confrontation, and sworn death. Just like what the 8-minute short film \”Baobao\” tells. The short film \”Baobao\” by Chinese-American director Shi Zhiyu tells a story: a bun made by her mother suddenly turned into a soft and cute baby bun. My mother loves to carry her baby and takes him with her wherever she goes. She is afraid that he will be bitten by a dog, afraid that he will be abducted, and even more afraid that he will learn bad things from other children. Baby Bao is getting bigger and bigger, eager to make friends and looking forward to being free. In the resistance and conflict, he and his mother, who loved him deeply and controlled him, became irreconcilable enemies. In order to escape from his mother\’s surveillance, Bao Baobao took his new girlfriend and decided to run away from home. Her mother tried to persuade her to stay, but Bao Baobao, who was determined to leave, still pushed the door open and left. Seeing that her son, who was once so dependent on her, was so ruthless for his girlfriend and new life, her mother dragged Bao Baobao back in anger, opened her mouth wide and swallowed him again. The short film has no lines from beginning to end, but it interprets the collective sorrow of countless Chinese mothers: I want to put you in my belly again, so that I will never lose you again, so that you will not resist me, so that we can be together forever. As director Shi Zhiyu said: Chinese mothers who cannot live out of themselves regard their children as their own incarnations. When the baby was young, they fed him with food and doted on him blindly. After the baby grows up, they use mental control and do not want to let go. Until one day, tragedy strikes. I gave all my sincerity, but turned myself into the person you hate the most. me for youI gave everything I had, but ended up dying tragically on your knife\’s edge. What a sad Chinese mother, what a heartbreaking human tragedy. The hardships of life and wandering jobs make it impossible for many low-income mothers to effectively accompany their children during their childhood. When the children grow up and have many problems, it is too late for them to try to guide them. The absence of their husbands and the anxiety in their hearts make them either interfere with their children with disgusting words and rough behaviors again and again, and eventually become the person their children hate the most; or they can compromise and pamper them blindly, let things go, and let their children live in lawlessness and violate the law. And those mothers who have always been with their children, in a busy life and state of anxiety, give up on their own growth too early, are too worried about their children making mistakes and getting hurt, ignore their children\’s physical and mental development and independent wishes, and dictate and interfere with their lives. After touching the child\’s bottom line again and again, he finally stood on the opposite side of the child. The child who once came from his mother has become her mother\’s pain; the mother who once gave her all has become the enemy of her child. But is all this mother\’s fault? How many tragedies happen, how many mothers and children become enemies, can we understand that good education should not only be done by mothers. When the father becomes a shadow, the family lacks sunshine and the children grow distorted. A good family is one where the father loves the mother lovingly and the mother loves the children peacefully. If the father cannot hear the mother\’s words, the mother\’s words will reach the children\’s ears; if the father makes the mother uneasy, the mother will control the children. A good mother should not only have children. A child\’s life comes from his mother, but he has his own destination to go. Mom has never been to his future, so she won’t judge easily or interfere too much. Mom, you should live for yourself for the rest of your life. The more colorful and peaceful you live, the more tenacious and persistent your children will be. When mothers shield their children from all wind and rain, they also deprive them of the right to see the rainbow. Good children should not only have grades. Rather than expecting your children to be outstanding, it is a compulsory course for parents to be admitted to a prestigious university and accept that their children will eventually become ordinary people. Because, in and above life, there is something more important than grades and face, studies and fame, and that is the love and trust between relatives. Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said that there is no magic formula for children\’s growth. There is only a stable and healthy soil provided by responsible parents. In this soil, there is mother\’s company and father\’s presence; there is the intimacy of childhood and the respect of teenagers; there is selfless giving and more decent withdrawal; there are timely reminders and more trustful satisfaction. I hope all Chinese mothers will remember these two sentences with me: intimacy is for parting one day; deep love is for finding a bright self.

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