I have seen a survey: In China, 42% of mothers take a stand alone in their children\’s education, and in 32% of families the task of educating children is borne by their grandparents. Only 12% of the cases in which fathers truly play a leading role. I can’t help but feel a little emotional. In most families, it is the mother who takes the sole responsibility for the education of her children. But the father is much absent, and no matter how hard the mother tries, it will be difficult for the child to grow into what the parents want. There are two lights in family education: the mother is the one that shines at home, guarding the warmth of the child\’s heart; the father is the one on the road, lighting the way forward for the child. When two lights go hand in hand, children can rely on them both internally and externally. In a healthy family, both father\’s love and mother\’s love are indispensable; in a loving family, both father\’s love and mother\’s love must be given in equal measure. In China, the best family education is for the father to be more attentive and the mother to be relaxed. If a father is more attentive, his children will be better. If a father is more attentive, his children will be better. In Zhengzhou, Henan, there is such a caring father-Zhang Shuai. In order to give his 3-year-old daughter a different childhood, he taught himself craftsmanship from scratch and built a toy kingdom for his daughter using waste paper shells. Colorful Tetris, moving cardboard trains, exquisite Thanos gloves… Zhang Shuai spent countless efforts and studied various enlightenment education books to create favorite toys for his daughter one after another. Whenever a new toy is born from the father\’s hands, the daughter will have a great time playing with it, and the interaction between father and daughter is heart-warming. A few pieces of cardboard bear countless efforts of the father, and are also priceless childhood for the daughter. The father\’s hard work not only brought happiness to his daughter, but his creations also had a great influence on her in a subtle way. From playing with toys made by her father to creating toys with her father at the beginning, the five-year-old daughter has already shown great curiosity and love for handmade creations. Due to the environment, the little girl already has strong hands-on ability. Under the guidance of her father, the two of them worked together to complete many works. My daughter’s little head is always full of amazing ideas. She was attracted by the gashapon toy outside, and she immediately thought that she could make her own gashapon, and when she opened it, a chick would pop out. However, what makes parents happy is far more than that. Zhang Shuai made a toy for his daughter to save the space station. The father commanded and the daughter operated it, and the space station was saved with the cooperation of the two. But her daughter was still worried: \”What should I do if the uncles and aunts above haven\’t come back yet?\” So Zhang Shuai made a new \”Save the Astronauts\” toy. The child\’s questions may seem innocent and funny, but they hide the warmest kindness in the world. With her father\’s attentive company, her five-year-old daughter has grown into a kind-hearted girl full of imagination, creativity, good at thinking and warmth. Gerdi said: Men are more adventurous, exploratory, tolerant, and curious. These characteristics will be vividly reflected in the education of their children. Compared with the mother who sticks to the rules when raising her children, the father\’s wild ideas will be revealed at any time when raising his children. Children will also be affected by this and gradually become children who love to use their brains and think. Yale University in the United States once conducted a study: children raised by men have higher IQs and are better at school.The students have better grades and are more likely to succeed in society. While you are working hard to make money, don\’t forget to spend more time with your children, because the investment with the highest return rate in the world is the parent-child relationship. Mothers can relax and their children have good personalities. Some people say: \”Anxiety is a standard feature of mothers.\” Indeed, after becoming a mother, the whole person has become much more irritable. She has to take care of the housework and work at the same time; she has to take care of the food and daily life of the whole family, and she also has to be responsible for tutoring homework. Issues related to children\’s education are especially easy to come up with. When heavy pressure pours down, emotions become a scourge, and they will come out to wreak havoc from time to time. Maybe after venting your emotions, your anxiety will be relieved and your mood will become lighter. But in the child\’s mind, an emotionally unstable mother is like a time bomb, making people live in fear all the time. Psychological counselor Lai Peixia once gave a speech on the stage of \”I am a Speaker\”. She mentioned that she was often scolded by her mother when she was a child and was very unhappy. When she grew up, she continued to hit the wall in her relationship. She sighed: \”When your mother lives in sorrow and pain all her life, do you dare to be happy?\” The answer is: : It’s difficult! If a mother is anxious for a long time, negative emotions will spread throughout the home like an infectious disease. Even the air will smell anxious, and no one will be happy. Mother is the emotional guide of a family. It can be said that mother\’s emotions directly determine the temperature of the family. In her TED speech, Ms. Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology, once clarified from a scientific perspective: From the perspective of human evolution, women’s emotional energy far exceeds that of men. A mother retains a gentle and loving appearance, which not only brings peace to the family, but also gives her children a good character. Hu Shi once wrote in the book: My mother is the kindest and gentlest to others, and she never said a word that hurt people\’s feelings. If I can learn a little bit of good temper, if I can learn a little bit of kindness in dealing with others, if I can forgive people and be considerate of others – I have to thank my loving mother. The road of raising children is difficult. Mothers often feel anxious about their children\’s education. As everyone knows, the more anxious they are, the worse it will be. If mom relaxes her mind, lets go more and becomes less anxious, she can bring peace to the family. If you give your child a gentleness and peace, your child will reward you with a better version of yourself. Mothers influence their children\’s emotional world, and fathers influence their children\’s social abilities. Only by the absence of father\’s love can girls be more like girls and boys be more like boys. To ensure that father\’s love is not absent and that fathers participate in their children\’s education, appropriate activation methods are required: 1. Mothers let go and give fathers a chance. In fact, in many families, fathers\’ participation in children\’s education is low. It is not because fathers are unwilling. Participate, but the mother is unwilling to let go. On the one hand, she dislikes her father for not being able to help, and on the other hand, she bitterly accuses her father of being unwilling to help. This seems to have become the daily routine of many mothers. But how can anyone be born to teach children? Don’t mothers evolve into omnipotent supermen through the accumulation of experience? So relax your mind, show weakness when it\’s time to show weakness, and let go when it\’s time to let go. You know, the dolls raised by dad have their own style! 2. Respect father’s education methods. Many times mothers have a certain way of educating fathers.There is a natural worry, as if the father is the young and Dangerous boy, leading the child further and further down the wrong road. Let go of prejudices, men and women think differently and have different education methods. Maybe what mom thinks is dangerous, dad thinks is exploration; what mom thinks is unhealthy, dad thinks is creativity. A father is a unique being who has a special power in nurturing his children. Respect the father\’s education methods and let the father experience the joy of raising children, so that the children can enjoy their father\’s continuous company. 3. Give positive feedback to dad. Father’s love is silent and majestic. Many times dad doesn’t know how to express his feelings. But the father who is not good at words always has a soft place in his heart for his children. Encourage fathers to take care of their children more, tell fathers their children’s inner expectations and joy, and give fathers positive feedback. No matter how majestic a father is, he cannot bear to shatter his children\’s expectations. Fromm has this sentence in \”The Art of Loving\”: Mother represents the natural world, and father represents the world of ideas, the world of laws, order, discipline and other things created by humans. A father is the one who educates his children and shows them the way to the world. Children grow up in a family, and the mother\’s power is most evident in the first few years after the child is born. But when the child eventually leaves his parents and faces society alone, the father\’s power will become more prominent. If you ask me, in a family, whose care and guidance do children need most? The answer is neither dad nor mom, but dad and mom. A father\’s love is like a mountain and a mother\’s love is like an ocean. Both father and mother have their own advantages in family education, and both are indispensable. If the father pays more attention, the mother relaxes and gives the right love, the child can thrive.