• Wed. Dec 6th, 2023

The best support for your child: perhaps not forcing him to work hard, but persuading him to rest


Oct 1, 2023

I remember reading this sentence in the book \”Raising Boys\”: \”Allow children to have their own \’healthy day\’ every semester – on this day, he does not have to go to school, but it is not because If you are sick and don’t go, this day is purely a day for your children.” I deeply agree with this. The reason why I put this sentence at the beginning of the article is that I hope that every reader who clicks on the article can read it. Then, even if I don’t continue to read the following content, I will be deeply gratified because of this sentence. This is exactly the central idea that I want to express in this article. When children are young, we don’t have so many requirements for them, so most children are very happy before entering school. However, when they began to have academic tasks, the style of painting suddenly changed. We are becoming more and more strict, demanding, and picky with our children. We are more and more fond of comparing ourselves to other children. We are becoming more and more accustomed to expressing dissatisfaction with our children, and our children are becoming less and less happy. How can we possibly give them a “healthy day”? Wouldn\’t this make it impossible to keep up with the teacher\’s progress and miss a lot of courses and assignments? Going to school every day doesn’t necessarily mean you can learn well? How can I take a day off? We were caught in the double whirlpool of involution and chicken-baby, and the conflicts with our children continued to escalate, making both of us unhappy. However, when our children are young, how tolerant we are towards them! Now I occasionally read some of the words I wrote when my son was a child. Those pictures full of warmth and childlike interest still move me. I think that is the best nourishment we have ever given to each other! Picture 1: The car was driving fast on the highway. It was raining heavily outside. There was chaos in front of the car window and the visibility was very low. I turned on the headlights and turned on the double flash… I glanced at the rearview mirror and saw through the It, I saw my son\’s two fat little feet raised high, his ankles and toes were moving around constantly, they were so cute. He was lying comfortably on the back seat and took off his shoes. , playing with his body to make himself as comfortable as possible, while still holding a book and reading secretly. Although I didn\’t allow him to read in the car, this time I didn\’t say anything, but smiled slightly, very sweetly. I laugh because he can take good care of himself, settle down properly, do what he wants to do quietly without disturbing his mother, and enjoy the beauty of life as much as possible. This is exactly what I want to see. I hope that when he grows up, he will be a happy person who can learn to treat himself well and enjoy the beauty of life. Just like this moment, even though there is a violent storm outside, it cannot disturb our inner peace… Picture 2: I often do not allow my son to watch electronic products, or I will set a very limited time, and he will secretly watch the iPad when I am not at home. , when I got home, he secretly hid the iPad under the quilt, thinking he could deceive me. And although I could guess that he would peek in and hide under the quilt when I was not at home, I never pretended not to know. Because I know that it is great fun for children to do bad things behind their parents’ backs, so I can’t bear to ruin this opportunity for them.A rare pleasure. Picture 3: Sometimes my little son will secretly go to the kitchen to get snacks when I am not paying attention. Because I also have very strict restrictions on his snacks, so he must really enjoy the trophies he occasionally successfully obtains. At times like this, I mostly turn a blind eye. I am secretly happy that I discovered it but did not expose it. I don\’t know if he can see through mom\’s tricks, but we understand each other tacitly. …If possible, we may all hope that these paintings of loving mothers and filial piety will continue forever. However, children will always grow up and have more responsibilities to bear, and we can no longer treat them like children. So, we changed to another face. Although children need to take on more responsibilities when they grow up, blindly emphasizing rules is definitely biased. If the force is too strong, it may even push the child into a desperate situation. Principled matters cannot be compromised at will, but blindly following principles and ignoring human nature may be a bigger mistake as a parent. Human nature has two sides. Everyone has both a \”good\” side and a \”bad\” side. If the \”bad\” side has no chance to be released, but is suppressed or hidden, it will be like a buried… A time bomb was dropped. Because the \”bad\” part cannot disappear out of thin air, but grows secretly in places we can\’t see. When one day, it grows strong and powerful enough, it will suddenly burst out and catch us by surprise. For example, some children suddenly don\’t want to go to school one day because they are usually too tight, or they engage in other destructive behaviors to resist learning. Each of us needs some flexibility in our lives. Children are already under a lot of academic pressure. What we have to do is not to put more pressure on them, but to help them learn to release pressure. If we change from passive to active and give our children a \”healthy day\” in advance, then the \”good\” and \”bad\” parts of the child will be balanced, and his school life will be much more pleasant, and he will be less likely to Feeling tired of studying. I hope that we can be both strict and tolerant towards our children. This may be the best support we can give our children.

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