• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

The child disliked his parents, so this mother decided to change her life


Oct 1, 2023

Yesterday, my son\’s class teacher sent a notice in the class group that a parent-teacher meeting will be held next Friday. When my son came home from school, he solemnly said to me before he put down his schoolbag: \”Mom, don\’t go to this parent-teacher conference. Let dad go.\” I was surprised, because in previous years I was the one who went to my son\’s parent-teacher conference. Yeah, why didn\’t I go to junior high school? After my constant questioning, he told the truth: \”Mom, you don\’t have a job. You can\’t do anything except wash clothes and cook. You just force me to study, but I have never seen you studying.\” What his son said I was stunned for a moment. Yes, in the past few years, in order to take care of my family, I quit my job and spent all my time around my husband and children. I have completely lost my own life. I don’t know where my dreams have been left. I think of a letter that astronaut Liu Yang wrote for his children on the eve of his expedition. Every word and every sentence is full of deep affection from my mother, which makes people cry when reading it. The letter contains the guilt of not being able to spend Children\’s Day with the children, the reluctance and concern for the children, and the perseverance in pursuing one\’s dreams. She said in the letter: \”Baby, you must have dreams in life, they are the light in your life.\” Liu Yang did not stop pursuing dreams after becoming a mother, but went to his own starry sea with more determination, giving A child\’s best guide. I couldn’t help but reflect: What is the best way for a mother to live her life? The moment you become a mother is also the moment when your dreams are disillusioned. In real life, many mothers, like me, extinguish the flames of their dreams with their own hands the first moment they become mothers. I have seen such a short video. The mother in the video graduated with a master\’s degree and originally had a good job in Beijing, but for the sake of her family, she became a full-time mother. From then on, she stopped making money, had little sense of accomplishment, and no longer had her own social circle. She devoted herself entirely to her son. But instead of being grateful, her son accused her: \”What did you do? Didn\’t you just cook a meal at home and do some housework?\” What heartbreaking words. Through the screen, I can feel my mother\’s heart bleeding. How selfless my mother is when she gives, how broken her heart is at this moment. The same heartbreak belongs to the hit drama Come on! He Xiaohan, the mother in \”Mom\”. He Xiaohan was originally a nurse in a hospital. After marrying doctor Tian Siyang, she became a full-time housewife, devoted to serving her mother-in-law and taking care of her husband. After her daughter Tian Youyou was born, she had no living space of her own and spent all day surrounding her child. How can children eat more nutritiously? What kind of clothes are comfortable and beautiful for children? How can the parent committee do a better job and gain extra points for their children’s further studies? Because she had low self-esteem about her academic qualifications, she also wanted to improve her knowledge reserve through learning. But she was hanging around the family all day long and had no time to take care of her own needs. Therefore, when her daughter asked her about English words, she could only shake her head and say, \”Mom doesn\’t know how.\” This happened too many times, which aroused her daughter\’s anger and contempt. \”Other mothers know it all, but you don\’t know anything!\” \”I want dad to go to the outdoor teaching. It will be embarrassing for you to go!\” The daughter\’s words were as sharp as needles, piercing He Xiaohan\’s heart, and tears burst out of her eyes. . She blamed her daughter for being ignorant, and even more hated herself for not living up to expectations. become momThat moment of damnation was regarded as the moment when dreams were disillusioned, and he won the understanding and respect that was never a child\’s. In real life, there are so many mothers like He Xiaohan. They sacrifice themselves without hesitation and devote themselves unconditionally to their families and children, making themselves anxious and exhausted. In order to give her children an absolutely quiet learning environment at home, mothers dare not even breathe hard; in order to accompany their children to study, mothers abandon their homes and careers to live in unfamiliar places; in order to spend more time with their children, mothers give up opportunities for promotion and further education. …but in the end, I found that there is no self and endless dedication, it just moved myself. It is difficult for a mother who has given up on herself to find happiness. I think of the mother Shen Huixing played by Bai Baihe in the previous hit drama \”Our Marriage\”. She originally graduated with a master\’s degree from a prestigious school and could show off her talents in the workplace. However, for the sake of her family and to provide her daughter with all-round and solid companionship, she chose to be a stay-at-home mother. In 6 years, she learned to move by herself, decorate by herself, repair electrical appliances by herself, take care of her baby to see a doctor by herself… and evolved into a proper female warrior of steel. But in the eyes of her husband Sheng Jiangchuan, this is taken for granted. During that time, the couple often quarreled, and the originally confident and happy Shen Huixing disappeared. Actor Liu Mintao also had a similar experience after getting married. In order to provide all-round care for her daughter, she chose to sacrifice her acting career and live a life of caring for her husband and raising her children. However, she did not feel the relaxation and freedom of being away from work pressure. Instead, she felt an endless sense of triviality and low self-esteem. She takes good care of her daughter every day and waits humbly for her husband to come home, but what she gets in return is her husband\’s indifference and neglect. On days when her palms were up, she had to suppress even her small wish to eat a matcha ice cream. She began to wonder whether it was worth it to be a stay-at-home mother who had to give up on herself. Zhang Defen once said: \”When a woman puts her presence in the family and loses herself, I will always be happy when the children are happy, and life will be very hard in the end.\” It is true. Happiness should be in your own hands, not on anyone else. Only mothers who do not give up on themselves can have the initiative and confidence to grasp happiness. Mothers who bravely pursue their dreams give their children the best guidance. As long as the mother is herself in the front and firmly follows the path of success, the children will naturally follow and change quietly. One of my high school classmates is such a mother. During the epidemic, her company went bankrupt and she lost her job. At a time when her son was rebellious and her husband was in transition in his career, she stopped looking for a job under the persuasion of her family. But she didn\’t live a life of making daily necessities when she was busy, and watching dramas and playing cards in her spare time. Instead, he took a new media writing class and regained his dream of writing as a student. From then on, after the classmate finished doing housework, she sat at the desk and studied the course; she would code until late at night, reading 3,000 words of information in order to write a 300-word paragraph; in order to better output, she began to carefully read the bookshelf that had been displayed for a long time books. Gradually, under her influence, her son also began to read Chinese and foreign classics. Mother and son often discussed the contents of the books.characters. The mother was impressed by the significant improvement in her son\’s reading comprehension ability and the gradual improvement in his composition scores. The son is very proud of his mother for writing an article that has been read more than 100,000 times and made readers think. I like this sentence very much: \”You can never give others what you don\’t have.\” If a mother wants her children to have a promising future, she must become a beam of light and give her children the brightest guidance. As mothers continue to forge ahead on the road to becoming themselves, their children will naturally follow. Liu Mintao once said a thought-provoking saying: \”It turns out that there is never only one way to live in life. Never break your wings at any time. It is difficult to meet everyone\’s expectations in this life. It is enough to work hard to live up to yourself.\” He deeply agrees. A mother\’s world is not just about her children, not just food, rice, oil and salt. Every mother should have the confidence and strength to bravely pursue her dreams and live out her life. Because the identity of \”mother\” has never been a stumbling block in life. As long as we are willing, as mothers, we can support our children while also seeing our own inner needs. While accompanying our children, we can also let ourselves grow and give ourselves a new way of living.

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