• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

The child says, \”Forget it if you don\’t want to play with me. I don\’t care.\” Mom doesn\’t blame you.

My child, you say, \”Forget it if you don\’t want to play with me, I don\’t care.\” Others blame you, but your mother doesn\’t blame you. Here lies your courage to face life alone, and many adults are not as good as you. There is an open-air fitness and children\’s entertainment area downstairs in the community. Many parents were exercising on fitness equipment, while their children were playing on the slides with other children a few meters away. After bringing his son here several times, he met several children of the same age, all around three years old. I told my son to learn to share, and give food and play things to the children he likes. He is quite smart. Every time he distributes something, he does it in a stylish way and mutters: \”Share, share, you are a good boy.\” On this day, he held a new toy and attracted the attention of a group of children. , two people rushed up to grab it. The son resisted desperately and roared like a small animal. The two children were so angry that they put their hands on their hips and pointed at him and said, \”I won\’t play with you anymore, huh!\” They also waved their fists to drive away the other children who were watching, not allowing them to get close to their son: \”You are not allowed to play with him either!\” I had no choice but to squat down and say to my son: \”Let them play!\” My son refused and shook his head like a rattle. The two children refused to let go. One dragged his upper body and the other his legs, pulling him away. After it fell to the ground, my son wouldn\’t let go. The parents nearby advised him: \”Let them play, or they will stop playing with you.\” After the two children received more support from adults, they became more and more confident. The son pouted: \”Forget it if you don\’t want to play with me, I don\’t care!\” He hugged the toy tightly with both hands, and his little face turned red from suppressing it. After hearing this, the parents started talking one after another: \”This child is so selfish! What\’s wrong with letting other children play?\” Someone immediately gave me a suggestion, \”I often see your child being taken out by his grandma to play alone, no?\” \”Sociable\”, \”Your child is very stingy, and it is difficult for other children to ask for things from him\”, \”Your child is too introverted, maybe because of the long-term care of the elderly\”, \”Let me introduce you to an early childhood training center , you can make him a little more outgoing.\” Thank you all for your kindness, I appreciate it. I understand my son, if the other person is polite, he will definitely give generously. He never gives in to those who offend him, even if it is a superficial attempt to make peace. He is very generous to people who get along well with him. When he eats, he will ask me if I want to save some for the little sister downstairs who has no mother. When drinking milk, he will ask the little brother who is not good at talking to the door if he has milk to drink. I got a new toy, and I wanted to give it to my kindergarten classmate Hanghang, who I have the best relationship with, to play with. When I go to the parent-child center, I can interact with a group of well-behaved children in one minute. He stays away from someone because that person sends an unfriendly signal. A critical look, an aggressive word, or an arrogant and egotistical personality. In short, they have to be played together, tolerated, and accommodated without any principles. I took my children out to play, and I discovered a phenomenon. A domineering and powerful child \”rules\” the weaker children. He is arrogant and has strong cohesion. Whoever he sends as a follower must obey him honestly, otherwise he will lead all the children to exclude him. he. If the child does not want to be humiliated and is isolated, other parents will sayTao four. The child\’s parents feel shameless and assign tasks to their children: You must integrate into the circle of children, which means that you have no personality disorder and have excellent communication skills. Many parents show off how many good friends their children have. They easily become the focus of the group and are a symbol of leadership. Even if they are not the most eye-catching, they are gregarious and have good teamwork skills. If a child is alone, it indicates that he or she will be a leader. If he is not a good boy, he will have no future. The more alone a child is, the less parents will support their children playing with him, for fear of contaminating a withdrawn character. One afternoon, I took my children to an art training center for a trial class. It happened that a five-year-old boy playing drums had just finished class. In order to increase my son\’s interest in music, I invited my little brother to perform live. Other parents and children who were watching also clapped their hands to express their expectation. Unexpectedly, this little brother said righteously: \”I am not learning musical instruments to show off.\” This sentence almost choked the people present. The musical instrument teacher nodded to him and the salesman blushed. You know, His impromptu performance can increase the day\’s sales and win praise from everyone present. Does he care? He didn\’t care at all, he played the drums because he was interested and wanted to play well. Not far away, his father was watching our conversation with satisfaction. The children he cultivated have an aura that transcends their years, making it difficult for him to be regarded as a little kid who can be happy just by taking a piece of candy and saying a word of praise. I was surprised that this child knew at such a young age that goals are more important than ineffective communication. Asked again what his plans were after school, he said that he played educational games with his father, competed with children of similar level, read a storybook with his mother, and watched children\’s programs with his grandparents, but he did not force himself. Dealing with children who have different personalities. It is the nature of every child to want to get along with people who like them, but whose judgment makes them force themselves to beg for friendship with people they cannot get along with? When I was in elementary school and junior high school, I was notoriously bullied in school. I am the person in TV cameras whose schoolbag is thrown into the trash can, who is scheduled to sweep the entire classroom, and whose face is smeared with mud by mischievous children. In addition, I had to steal change and fruit from home, and deprive my sister of her school supplies, all of which were given as tribute to the group of superior classmates who \”ruled\” me. In return, they were willing to take me with them when they played. I did this just to silence my neighbors and parents! Otherwise, they would slap me in the face and give me a lesson. Now more than ten years later, I have become a respected teacher. The moment I was dragged into the WeChat group of my classmates, the group exploded. The girl who had been slaughtered and humiliated was here again. Next, something weird happened. There were people who borrowed money, people who were doing direct sales, people who were doing micro-business, and people who were looking for \”broken shoes\”. Everyone was sharpening their knives and squandering money on me, and they arranged an AA-style dinner for me to attend. , thinking that like before, I had no choice but to agree. I think of that five-year-old child who had an indifferent attitude towards invalid relationships and withdrew from the group. When I was young, if I was so free and easy, how could I have had such a difficult childhood? child, youSay \”Forget it if you don\’t want to play with me, it doesn\’t matter to me.\” Others blame you, but your mother doesn\’t blame you. This contains your courage to face life alone. Many adults are not as good as you.

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