The impact of a child’s unhappy childhood on their future is beyond your imagination

After the \”double reduction\”, children have more free time, but parents\’ anxiety does not seem to have eased. Many parents still want their children to learn some talents and skills in their free time. While “filling” our children’s free time, we seem to forget the importance of a happy childhood for our children. Let’s read this article together and give happiness back to children! In the end, what matters in education is the attitude of parents. Due to the need for epidemic prevention and control some time ago, a certain place issued a temporary emergency notice. All students who participated in off-campus extracurricular classes on weekends must study at home and not be in school for the time being. As a result, when I arrived at school on Monday, I found that many classes were missing more than half of their students, and some classes even had only single digits of students. This shows that on that weekend, most parents in this area did not let their primary school students \”idle\” and took their children to participate in various trainings. This does not include those online trainings and one-on-one personal trainings. , door-to-door family training. Of course, the good news is that the \”double reduction\” still plays a considerable role. The training courses everyone filled in in the survey are all about culture, sports and beauty, without any subject-based courses. Nowadays, many parents have a common mentality: they cannot bear to see their children idle. The time reduced by \”double reduction\” must be filled up again. After further analysis, it is not difficult to find that after the \”double reduction\”, parents still have an inexplicable anxiety in their hearts. Without the extracurricular tutoring for the main course, this anxiety also makes parents always urge their children to do something more and learn more. What, if they put in some time and energy now, they will have one more skill or talent than the average child in the future. Even a little more may come in handy. \”The future is unknown, so we need to prepare more today,\” especially for the future. For primary school students who are still very far away, the more the better. Therefore, we can see this situation: children\’s learning level in the main subject cannot be lowered, which is the guarantee for their further education; and outside of class, they need to grasp some additional skills and talents, which cannot be careless. . For a primary school student, it seems that he cannot sacrifice anything in and outside of class. Except for eating and sleeping, he spends almost all his time studying… Parents rarely ask their children: \”Are you willing to live such a life? ?\” Parents actually know the answer. Most children will say they don\’t want to. Children always want to play but can\’t get enough. This cannot be left to them. Therefore, parents basically don\’t ask their children\’s needs and ideas and make their own decisions. Taking up all their time… Most adults today can agree that childhood is one of their happiest and happiest times. The joy of childhood comes from independent leisure time, playing with peers, and being in a safe environment.\” Explore \”willfully\”, communicate with parents without restraint, and concentrate on doing one thing intoxicatedly according to your own wishes… Will these children today still agree that \”childhood is happy\” when they become adults? I firmly believe that children who are occupied by the will of others will not agree with it. So, is childhood happiness really useless? Can the \”sacrifice\” be in vain? No, some recent studies have confirmed that some traditional concepts are correct: childhood happiness is valuable throughout a person\’s life, and an unhappy childhood can even cause irreversible consequences.bodily harm. Research by Professor Li Baoming, who focuses on the integration of brain science and education, shows that happy experiences will promote the development of children\’s brain functions. A happy, happy, rich life and growth environment can promote the maturation of synapses and the consolidation of neural circuits, especially in those brain areas closely related to learning and memory, cognitive functions and emotional regulation, such as the hippocampus, limbic system and forehead Leaf cortex. For children who have been under the influence of negative emotions for a long time, the development of these brain areas is more or less insufficient. Harvard Medical School tracked 377 people from the age of 7 to middle age, and found that people who lived in unhappy environments such as setbacks in childhood, with high psychological pressure and negative emotions, often still suffer from depression, anger, irritability, etc. as adults. Negative emotions increase the risk of cardiovascular disease by 17% for men and 31% for women in middle age. The saying \”Unhappy childhood leads to unhappy life\” is probably well-founded. Psychologist Adler once said a famous saying: \”Happy people use their childhood to heal their lives, and unhappy people use their lives to heal their childhood.\” He said this It was the early 20th century when he spoke. It was more of an intuitive inference, which has been confirmed by many psychological experiments and brain science today. In terms of childhood trauma, there are many mature studies in the field of psychological experiments. One of the more popular research methods is to divide childhood trauma into five categories: emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional neglect and physical neglect. As we mentioned above, \” The situation of \”unhappy childhood\” is very close to the scope of research on children\’s emotional neglect. In the past few years, too many studies have made it clear that severe childhood psychological trauma, such as physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, is closely related to psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and personality disorders in youth, adulthood, and middle age. connect. Subsequently, a series of studies have proven that a very subtle type of psychological trauma – emotional neglect of children is also closely related to children\’s future psychological problems. This includes inadvertently or deliberately ignoring children\’s feelings when doing things, or even depriving them of them. They have the right to normal emotional reactions. Many experiments have confirmed that this kind of \”weaker\” psychological trauma can also cause the above-mentioned serious psychological problems. It makes children\’s psychological flexibility gradually become worse, their stress awareness threshold gradually becomes lower, and eventually form a series of mental illnesses. The erosion process of emotional neglect on children\’s healthy psychology is more secret and difficult to detect, so its harm is wider. This brings us to the recent high incidence of adolescent depression. Is it related to the neglect of emotional care for children in childhood? We focus on children\’s grades and achievements, but we don\’t pay the same attention to their moment-to-moment emotional needs. Research in brain science is more direct. Children with post-traumatic stress disorder from abuse have significantly smaller prefrontal lobes, temporal lobes and corpus callosum than normal children. The younger the age at which the abuse occurs, the longer the duration of the abuse. The smaller the brain, the smaller the size of the brain; similarly, early childhood neglect can lead to damage to basic brain structures, including deviations in white matter nerve fiber connections, a significant reduction in myelinated axons, and the targeting specificity of nerve fiber connections. Decrease in synaptic densityHypomyelination and reduced myelination impair the role of the prefrontal cortex in many cognitive functions. These findings reveal how long-term unhappiness in childhood affects the structure and function of the brain\’s prefrontal cortex, and further reveal that there is a clear medical connection between childhood emotional neglect and children\’s cognitive dysfunction. To sum up, recent research in psychology and brain science shows that children need happiness, care, and love. The younger they are, the stronger their needs… In fact, if you look carefully at these \”conclusions\” derived from complex research, isn\’t it? Is it self-evident? What mother wouldn’t understand? Education goes against children\’s nature and fundamental needs, and goes against basic common sense, which will lead to the opposite of education. We are driven crazy by anxiety and unknowingly do anti-educational things. We must calm down, because only by calming down can we be really good to our children. The parents who work hard with their children to \”catch up\” on weekends, the teachers who only focus on their students\’ grades every day, the children you look down on are all living people who cannot be ignored. They do need knowledge, skills, talents, and growth in learning. We can arrange learning content and goals for them. But we must also take care of their feelings, ask them what they think, and it is best to seek consensus; we must also give them dedicated time to let them play and relax, especially those young children; we must also give them time to Observe their state, discover their unhappiness, and help them untie their knots; we also need to spend time with them and talk to them, not lectures on topics or texts, but simply chatting about some happy and interesting things… …