• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

The price for parents not following the rules will be the lingering shadow of their children’s childhood.

I saw a video on Weibo a few days ago. A mother asked her four or five-year-old child to practice hanging rings on the bus. When the bus driver in the middle saw it, he turned his head and said, \”Hey, eh, sit down!\” After the child heard it, he stopped. But the mother said to the child: \”Hang!\” The driver continued: \”This is not a place for exercise!\” \”It\’s none of your business! Just hang, I do this every day.\” The mother retorted to the driver. Then he picked up the child and let the child continue to hang. It was obvious that the child no longer wanted to hang. She shouted to her son \”Hurry up!\”. It\’s as if the child is admitting that he is wrong and has lost. During the quarrel, the child covered his ears, not wanting to hear his mother making a fuss. The driver also said this is for your safety. But she turned a deaf ear and walked over to ask the child to continue hanging. Finally, a telephone report was made to the Passenger Transport Center. She said that the driver was too aggressive, and explained that the child\’s ribs were a little outstretched, and the doctor told her to do chest exercises, which she often did in the car. And the child is exercising \”with my hands outstretched to protect me.\” Even if we look at it from a very calm and objective perspective. The driver\’s voice was too loud and he did not remind the child gently, but was more direct. It\’s understandable that my mother is in a mood. But what the driver did was not wrong. He is responsible for the safety of his passengers. Moreover, the mother said that she stretched out her hands to protect the child, but in the case of sudden braking, she could not stand or sit firmly. How could she protect the hanging child? Therefore, in the face of danger, such protection is basically ineffective. When hanging from a horizontal bar or rings on campus, it can only be effective if adults extend their hands for protection. In addition, the driver said, \”This is not a place for exercise.\” He was absolutely right. This is public transportation, a public area. Your behavior must comply with public rules. You have to queue up when you need to, and you have to buy a ticket when you need to. Following the rules can sometimes seem like getting the short end of the stick. But it doesn’t mean that you lose. It doesn’t mean that following the rules means you are a loser. On the contrary, it can show your cultivation. I saw a sentence a few days ago: \”Those who do not follow the rules are the gods of death wandering in the world.\” How terrible are people who don’t follow the rules? On the 120th hour after the Chongqing bus crashed into the river, the black box video was exposed, and the truth was finally revealed. What makes people shocked and angry is that this tragedy was caused not by a natural disaster but by a man-made disaster. One person\’s disobedience ruined the happiness of a dozen families. There is also distressing news: In Xinyu, Jiangxi, a 13-year-old boy put his head out of the roof sunroof of a car in Xinyu, Jiangxi, and collided with the height-limited bar when passing it. , unfortunately died on the spot. Many children open the sunroof of the car when riding in the car to enjoy the breeze and enjoy the scenery. Sometimes parents will say they told their children, but it didn\’t work. But parents have the responsibility to inform them that doing so is dangerous and not allowed. If this rule related to life and death safety cannot be enforced. So what else do parents do? So how do you tell your children to abide by public order and abide by the law when they grow up? Is it difficult to wait until your children keep hitting the wall, or even pay a heavy price? We often say that we need to raise well-behaved children. If you encounter parents with a weak sense of rules. Invisibly let the childrenHe also became contemptuous of the rules. Being a parent does not mean that you can have children. Reproduction is something that many lower animals can do. Loving children is not human nature. Animals also love their children very much. But our children are born different from the children of animals. Therefore, it can be said that being a parent is the most difficult task in the world. Because there is no test in this industry, unlike driving, you need a driver\’s license. Being a parent is a basic human right. No one can stop it, and no one will consider you. No employment certificate is required. Many people are still ignorant and start in a hurry. Have parents ignored the rules and thought about the psychological damage this can cause to their children? I once saw a story like this. On a high-speed train, in order to escape a child ticket, the father hid his daughter in the large luggage area on the train. When he was discovered, he refused to acknowledge her. The train conductor suspected that the girl\’s father was a man standing near the large luggage cabinet, so he asked the man if he knew the girl. The man waved his hand repeatedly. The train conductor asked the girl repeatedly, and the girl started crying while looking at the man who had just been questioned. The train conductor understood the situation and told the girl that if she was not accompanied by her parents, she would need to be handed over to the station. When the girl heard this, she immediately grabbed the man\’s clothes and called her daddy. Unexpectedly, the man pushed the girl away and walked to the next car. Seeing this scene, surrounding passengers blamed the man and suggested that the train conductor call the police. At this time, the man had to admit that the girl was his daughter and gave his daughter a child ticket. In order to evade fares, they flouted the rules and even disowned their children. Who can verify the shadow area in this girl\’s heart at that time. How will she recall this horrifying and \”humiliating\” experience when she grows up? When encountering such parents, children will feel confused and even painful. It\’s just that the child may not have deep feelings at the time, he just doesn\’t want to see or hear. So cover your ears, or close your eyes, and cry silently. However, this does not stop parents from using their children as tools for quarrels. For example, someone scared my child. Someone bullied my child. It seems that with this name, I can vent my emotions righteously. There is no way to stop parents from doing things like \”saving face and taking advantage\”. In fact, this is disrespectful to children. You failed to respect your child\’s feelings and your dignity as an individual. Instead, it became a weapon in his own hands. Parents who do not follow the rules often become a lingering shadow in their children\’s childhood. Don\’t think that education only occurs when you talk to your child, educate him, and give him orders. In fact, your words and deeds, your attitude towards your friends, and your attitude towards social rules all play a very important role. It\’s even more effective than what you said. Why do some children have psychological problems and are still surrounded by the shadow of their childhood even when they become adults? The root of the disease is often left in childhood. Psychologist Parker said in \”The Road Less Traveled\” that if parents have personality disorder symptoms, their children may also develop personality disorder or neurosis. The problems of the elders affect the growth of the next generation. This situation is common and has endless consequences. For example, people with personality disorders are unwilling to take responsibility. soWhen faced with being criticized for breaking the rules, we often feel that the fault is not with ourselves, but with the person who accused us. It is more difficult for psychiatrists to cure patients with personality disorders because they stubbornly believe that the problem has nothing to do with themselves and that other people and the outside world are the culprits. When faced with rules, they are unwilling to abide by them and arm themselves like a hedgehog. No one can blame anyone. Such a structure of avoidance or anger cannot solve any problem. And if you don’t solve the problem, you will eventually become a problem yourself. If children learn this from their parents, they will feel that any responsibility has nothing to do with me. The reason for poor grades is that the teacher did not teach well, and it is because the students had better luck than themselves in the exams. If you don’t do well at work, it’s because your fate is unfair and your boss has no vision! Let yourself live in a world that is divorced from reality. This is very terrible for personal growth. Suhomlinsky said: For a family, parents are the roots and children are the flowers. Parents often \”see\” their children\’s problems, but they don\’t know that these are actually their own problems \”flowering\” in their children. If you have a problem, you have to face it and solve it. Don\’t let your inappropriate words and deeds become a shadow that will harm your children\’s lives. Those who do not follow the rules are the gods of death wandering in the world. Parents who do not abide by the rules are the painful shackles that linger in the children\’s hearts for life… Only parents who truly value the rules can the children\’s hearts guard respect for the rules.

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