• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

There are misunderstandings about children adapting to the new environment. Come and see if you have fallen into this trap?

Misunderstanding 1: Parents interfere in their children’s social interactions. Wei is a film police officer. She wears the police uniform and shows off her dashing and heroic demeanor. Wei\’s child Kunkun has just entered the first grade of elementary school and is relatively shy. One day, one of Kunkun\’s classmates told Wei that there was a boy in the class who often provoked Kunkun, either pinching his arm or stepping on his feet. Wei immediately became alert after hearing this. Thinking of the campus bullying incidents that were widely reported on the Internet, she felt that this matter must not be left alone. Early the next morning, Wei, wearing a police uniform, went to school before going to work. She called the boy who \”bullied\” Kun Kun into the corridor and said to the child in a threatening tone: \”You know what? Kun Kun?\” Kun\’s mother is a policeman. If you dare to bully him again, I will put you in jail and you will never see your parents!\” The boy\’s eyes showed timidity and even fear, and he walked back in fear. He went to the classroom and apologized to Kunkun in front of all his classmates and said he would never provoke him again. After Wei finished speaking, I made up the picture in my mind, and felt solemn in my heart. Children\’s rules for making friends are very simple. From time to time, \”provoking\” the other person is a sign of goodwill, but we adults have over-interpreted this matter and think that \”provoking\” is \”bullying.\” In fact, the shy Kunkun is not good at interacting with his classmates and always has a relatively closed mentality. In this case, the more lively and cheerful classmates take the initiative to attract his attention, and most of them want to interact with him. friend. What Wei did made me shudder. I think it is really undesirable for an adult to say shocking or even threatening words in front of another child whose parents are not around. She used her advantage of being an adult, plus the secondary advantage of wearing a police uniform, to make children psychologically fear her. If mom does this, is it good for Kunkun? In fact, a few days ago, Wei told me very distressedly that Kunkun was always depressed when he came back from school. When I asked him, he almost cried with grievance and said: \”Mom, all the classmates in the class took a detour when they saw me. They They say I have a police mother who I can\’t afford to offend, but I can afford to hide.\” Wei said, \”What should I do, Chou.\” I could only advise her that when the children adapt to the new environment, parents can help them when they are not used to it. You should help them adapt when needed, but you should not interfere with their social interactions. Adults have their own way of dealing with the world, and children have their own communication skills. If you are \”provoked\”, sometimes you really don\’t need to be too nervous. I suggested that she go and apologize to the child if she had time, of course, in casual clothes. Children who have just stepped into the primary school campus must have an adaptation process from kindergarten to primary school. This process is nothing for extroverted children, but it is relatively slow for introverted children. Adaptation and growth are complementary concepts. Adapting to a new environment is the starting point for a child\’s growth. Parents should help their children build up confidence, quickly and effectively integrate into the new environment, and help their children open their hearts to accept new friends, rather than just letting the wind and rain come to pass and leaving their children with what is about to happen. Friendship is strangled in the cradle. Especially children who have just entered elementary school from kindergarten have changed to a new environment and met new teachers and classmates. In their young hearts, they are curious about the new environment and new people, and they also have the desire to integrate into the new environment and new people as soon as possible.Parents do not need to be too nervous at this time. Letting go and letting the children go on their own is far better than parents intervening. Of course, when encountering the kind of school violence and intentional harm that really harms children, parents should communicate with teachers and schools in a timely manner to help their children build a sense of protection and create a healthy environment for their children. Misunderstanding 2: Parents put pressure on children who are new to a strange environment. My cousin moved to Chongqing last year, and her son Xiaolei, who had just entered junior high school, also transferred here. Not long after he entered school, his cousin noticed that Xiaolei was always shaking his head unconsciously. The couple took Xiao Lei to the hospital to see a specialist, but it turned out that because he was new to a strange environment, Xiao Lei couldn\’t adapt to all aspects. I don’t adapt to the new school, I don’t adapt to the class with all unfamiliar faces, and I don’t adapt to the teacher’s teaching methods. Because he couldn\’t adapt and couldn\’t say anything to his parents, Xiao Lei, who refused to accept the new environment, chose to resist by shaking his head subconsciously, and the movement of shaking his head could not be controlled subjectively. My cousin was very worried and communicated openly with Xiaolei. Xiaolei said: \”Study pressure is already great, but you have repeatedly emphasized that I should not fall behind. I must be admitted to a key high school. I must be admitted to a key high school. I will be admitted in the future.\” A key university. Besides, I haven\’t adapted to an unfamiliar environment, and you guys started to put pressure on me! To be honest, I really don\’t want to stay here anymore!\” The cousins ​​finally understood that the problem was On the adults. It is precisely because adults think more about themselves and do not consider the needs of children at all, thinking that children have strong adaptability and can adapt to anywhere, so they put forward one requirement after another for children. After returning from the hospital, my cousin would take out a medicine bottle every day, pour out a white pill, divide it in half and let her son drink half of the pill. Those days were very gloomy. My cousin has been thinking in her heart, what will happen to the child if she keeps shaking her head like this? Half a month later, her cousin said she could no longer rely on pills. After discussing it with her cousin-in-law, her cousin-in-law, who had always been busy with work and had no contact with the family at all, made positive changes. First of all, they told Xiao Lei: \”You study for yourself, not for us. You can choose to study happily. As long as you try your best, even if the results are not very good, we will accept it.\” Secondly, after dinner every day, the couple spends time with Xiao Lei. Lei goes for a walk and chats with friends in crowded places. On weekends, I took Xiaolei to the stadium to play ball. The cousin also made an appointment with classmates and parents through the class parent group. Soon, with the help of new friends, Xiaolei integrated into the new class environment. After only taking half a bottle of the medicine prescribed by the hospital, Xiaolei\’s condition was completely cured. My cousin has deep feelings: \”When a child shows resistance to the new environment, you must not ignore it, but give the child more love and care, and accompany him to participate in the process of getting familiar with the new environment. Never think that the child It is much faster than adults to adapt to the environment. Don’t worry about it and it will get better slowly. This is a misunderstanding. In addition, you must not put too much pressure on them.” There is no doubt that the care of parents is a benign catalyst to help children adapt to the new environment. . How can parents play an active role? Every child, from birth to kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school, high school, and then to collegeTo study, even to enter society and embark on a career path, you have to go through many times of running in with the new environment. As a parent, how can we play a positive role in our children\’s transition to a new environment? Several friends gave the following suggestions, which I think can be used as a reference: 1. I agree that children need to grow up through bumps and bumps, but we must also give them enough care. 2. Don’t interfere in the interactions between children in the way that adults take it for granted. Sometimes, the prelude to “showing goodwill” is “harassment.” As long as adults don’t obstruct it, children will soon become friends. 3. Let go when it’s time to let go. A wise mind is far more useful than an anxious heart. 4. Before your child enters a new environment cautiously, please give your child a warm look. A solid hug. A word of encouragement. From ignorant children to gradually mature individuals, children gradually grow up by constantly adapting to the new environment. They are like the white-cheeked geese growing up in Greenland, the Arctic Circle. There will always be a time when they are faced with a multiple-choice question in life and they need to themselves. Make a choice. In order to avoid danger, the white-cheeked geese build their nests on the edge of a cliff. After hatching, the young geese need to look for food and must jump off the cliff to either die or survive. That may be the only flight in their lives, and their parents can\’t do anything to help them. They can only encourage the geese not to be afraid, and then jump off the cliff first, waiting helplessly at the bottom of the cliff, waiting for the geese to make a decision. The wind flies. Children, you must have a brave heart in front of every turning point in your life. The environment is unfamiliar, and you can slowly adapt to it; the crowd is unfamiliar, and you can open your heart to communicate with everyone; life is by no means As flat as ever, there are undercurrents under the quiet river. All you have to do is take your own steps bravely. Long Yingtai said: \”To truly gaze, you must walk alone. Walking alone is a private meeting between you and the scenery.\” Life is a scenery. On this road, you can only walk forward bravely. Only by going down can we find a bright road. With the courage to overcome the new environment, you will have the capital to challenge life. Again and again, don’t be afraid and take your time. Children, there is always a journey that you have to walk alone. There is always a new environment that you have to adapt to and integrate into. You have to reach the other side of success on your own and win the applause from around you. As parents, we only need to help our children take the helm of life. When it comes to adapting to the new environment, we must give the initiative to our children so that they can explore the experience of growth while walking on the long road of life.

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